Bitch-ass Turkish dictator Recep Erdogan’s regime on Thursday shut down all bus, ferry, and metro service in the nation’s largest city ahead of planned May Day protests, as well as arresting more than 400 suspected protestors, coming off a Wednesday sweep of 100 organizers, AFP reports.

This usually happens every May 1st, but this year the heat is considerably higher given the ongoing bogus prosecution of the city’s Mayor Ekrem Imamoglu of the opposition Republican People’s Party, who had been expected to mount a formidable challenge to Erdawg in the 2028 election.

Young white nationalist sociopaths Karoline Leavitt and Stephen Miller will headline this extra early edition of making shit up about pretending to govern on Thursday, snapping at reporters angrily for asking them to reconcile the hateful lies and propaganda with reality if not other hateful lies and propaganda. CBS’s Scott MacFarlane this week reported that the recent earlier-hour pressers have been scheduled as such to catch the “audience of one” while he’s watching Fox and Friends. Given that this morning’s start time is already 27 minutes late from its 8:30 AM billing, the couch crew at Fox are probably having no trouble filling the time with fawning praise for their Orange God Emperor.

Or maybe Karoline gave Team Fox the heads-up while the MSM reporters in the briefing room are having their time wasted pointlessly just for being the “Enemy of the People.” Could be the case.

The most reviled creature in all Biblical and Aesopian parables really stuck it to humanity again on Thursday, this time the son of a bitch got tangled up in the electrical cables crucial to powering Japan’s JR Central bullet train line between Tokyo and Osaka, officials tell NBC News.

The blackout occurred at 5:26 PM local time and was not restored until 7 PM, affecting 86 trains and stranding tens of thousands of passengers, a spokesperson for JR said. The fucking snake at least died as it cursed its hapless warm-blooded nemeses to the obnoxiously long delay.

General Motors on Thursday issued a statement estimating that the Orange God Emperor’s tariff fuckery will eat as much as $5 billion in profits, Bloomberg reports. The automaker had in January issued guidance pegging EBITDA at $15.7 billion but now have revised it lower to a range between $10 and $12.5 billion as a direct result of “Liberation Day.” Trump loves auto workers, libs.

It is an EXTREMELY BAD BREACH OF ETHICS that the @WSJ would publish a DELIBERATELY FALSE ARTICLE and fail to include an unequivocal denial beforehand by the Tesla board of directors! https://t.co/9xdypLGg3c

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2025

Ketamine Brain and his minions were understandably upset the Wall Street Journal had the temerity to print a story that a company that has lost 41 percent of its value in four months due to factors almost solely attributable to the deranged behavior of its principal would be looking for a new one.

The article’s so believable that they could’ve just made it up and the public would be none the wiser.

The eggheads at Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball, aka the University of Virginia’s Center for Politics, are out with their 2025-2026 gubernatorial ratings, forecasting a lean toward not-terribly surprising flips in Virginia and Kansas while pegging Michigan and Arizona as tossups, the last being the only one where an incumbent – Dem Katie Hobbs – isn’t term-limited. She may end up benefitting from a rough GOP primary in which the Orange Satan has endorsed both white nationalist Congressman Andy Biggs and businesswoman Karrin Taylor Robson, who lost to Kari Lake in the 2022 primary.

Michigan’s also a tossup because outgoing Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan – elected to his current job as a Dem – has launched a bid as an independent, which is a great way to help get a Republican elected. Also on the “Lean-R” side are GOP-held Nevada and Georgia while New Jersey and Wisconsin – where Gov Tony Evers hasn’t announced a third run yet – are the blue leans.

One of the best and most beautiful parts of Israel is burning down to the ground. It’s ashes, and Benjamin Netnayahu should resign. This is all his fault!!! Seriously, Israeli voters should see the lack of sincerity, the dismissiveness, the dedication to pretentiousness, and the dereliction of care for the citizens of their great country. He has always demonstrated this. In every video. You cannot trust this kind of person with any role, and especially not one upon which their wellbeing depends. Bibi needs to be removed, before something worse happens there. This inferno is burning at levels that even surpass last night. This is not Government. If you are going to run a city or run a state, you have to take care of the basics, and that’s to make sure your fire and police departments are well-funded.

Ahem. Mad-libbed that copypasta from various Trump posts and the January 15th, 2025 Fox News article titled “Justine Bateman calls for Gavin Newsom to be removed amid LA fires ‘before something worse happens,'” to intro an actual situation in Israel as reported by CBS News Thursday.

It’s bad though as of yet not as deadly as the horrors folks in the Los Angeles area suffered in January. “It’s just very sad because we knew the weather, we kind of knew that would happen and still we feel like they weren’t ready enough with the big planes that can drop large amounts of water,” said local man Yuval Aharoni after he was evacuated from the city of Modiin, which sits on the northern edge of the wind-fueled inferno now threatening to burn eastward into Jerusalem.

This miiiiiiiight take a while for the former Vice President to actually take the stage given that there’s a whole undercard of other speakers including former Interior Secretary Deb Haaland.

Convicted felon President Trump’s team, obviously feeling like right wing media isn’t up to the task of being state media 100 percent of the time, have gone ahead and set up their own state media apparatus, White House Wire, a curated feed of the most ball-lickiest of propaganda articles.

“Today, the Title IX Special Investigations Team (Title IX SIT), a joint initiative of the US Department of Education (ED) and the US Department of Justice (DOJ), launched a directed investigation into the Washington Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI). This investigation comes amid reports that OSPI has imposed requirements on school districts that potentially violate federal law, specifically, Title IX, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), and the Protection of Pupil Rights Amendment (PPRA). Multiple Washington State school districts have reported that OSPI is requiring school boards to adopt policies that allow males to participate in female sports and occupy female-only intimate facilities, thereby raising substantial Title IX concerns,” says a press release from a department run by a fake wrestling circus CEO.

Let’s just preface this article with the usual: This never would have happened if Kamala Harris was president. She’s a tough negotiator and she’d be able to make a deal with the two sides and make sure that there’s no war between two nuclear-armed powers. Trump’s weakness and fecklessness are why India and Pakistan are on the brink of a destructive conflict that endangers millions of lives.

ANYWAY, CBS News reports that Pakistan’s Information Minister Attaullah Tarar on Wednesday said officials have “credible intelligence that India intends carrying out military action against Pakistan in the next 24-36 hours on the pretext of concocted and baseless allegations of involvement in the Pahalgam incident,” referring to last week’s Islamist massacre in Kashmir which killed at least 26 tourists. The remarks came just hours after Indian dictator Narendra Modi said his nation’s troops have “complete operational freedom to decide on the mode, targets and timing of our response to the terror attack,” blamed on an offshoot of a Pakistani-backed terror group Lakshar-e-Taiba formed decades ago by their intel services to fuck with India’s control of the disputed region.

Again, this never would be happening if Kamala Harris was president. It’s beyond dispute.

“Republican Party headquarters has been defaced with Nazi imagery for the second time in two weeks. This hateful vandalism invites political violence and threatens the wellbeing of our employees and guests. We appreciate Governor Hochul’s condemnation of the initial act of vandalism. Chuck Schumer, with his constant demagoguery and past calls to political violence and AOC, with her present ‘Fight the Oligarchy’ tour, are fueling a climate of hostility that emboldens such hateful actors. They must immediately call on their supporters to reject political violence and restore civility to our discourse. Our heartfelt thanks go out to the Albany Police Department and Albany County District Attorney’s office, both of whom are giving this matter its due consideration. We look forward to the perpetrators being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law,” says New York GOP chair Ed Cox in a statement after some lib wrote “NAZIS” on the outside of their building.

“The vile and hateful defacement of the New York Republican Party Headquarters with Nazi imagery for the second time in just two weeks is a disgusting criminal act and a direct threat to the hardworking staff of the New York Republican Party. This was not a random act of vandalism—it was an escalation of political hatred deliberately aimed at intimidating Republicans and silencing our voices. I stand in full solidarity with the NYGOP and all those who reject political violence. We must ensure the perpetrator of this heinous crime is swiftly identified and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. I am grateful to the Albany Police Department and the Albany County District Attorney’s office for treating this matter with the seriousness it demands. We must never tolerate political violence, regardless of the target. It’s time to restore respect, dialogue, and decency to our political discourse,” Malevolent razorback Elise Stefanik added in the statement.

Reminder: All this shit the fat bastard claims is “investment” is just vague, non-committal plans to spend money on this or that project that’ll take years. There’s nothing actually happening yet.

Realizing that there might not be enough space in El Salvador’s CECOT gulag for the undocumented migrants they want imprisoned in a foreign hellhole, Trump Administration officials are floating plans to have them sent to prisons in other failed states Libya and Rwanda, CNN reports, writing that Libya specifically is being eyed as a place to send asylum seekers approaching the southern border.

“7-Eleven, Inc is turning the flavor dial to 11 once again by teaming up with Green Day and Punk Bunny to unveil an all-new, exclusive Slurpee® drink flavor: Kerplunk Kandy Grape. As an ode to the band’s 1992 album ‘Kerplunk!’, this rockin’ new flavor mashes up cotton candy sweetness with juicy grape vibes. The Kerplunk Kandy Grape Slurpee drink is a sweet and slightly twisted treat that tastes just like the cotton candy grapes Green Day keeps as a staple on their backstage riders. Born from the band’s personal snack pile and reborn in frozen form, this isn’t your average frozen treat – it’s a full-on flavor riot. The new flavor is available now for a limited time at participating 7-Eleven®, Speedway® and Stripes® stores nationwide,” says a 7-Eleven press release.

“The drinks don’t stop there – after the exclusive debut of Punk Bunny Coffee at 7-Eleven in 2024, anticipation has been building for the next drop. 7-Eleven and Green Day are rolling out three new exclusive Punk Bunny coffee varieties at participating stores: Mike Dirnt’s Turn Up the Bass Medium Roast, Punk Bunny Cold Brew Caramel Latte and Chocolate Almond Specialty Latte,” the fan service to Gen Xers who were fed up with those stuffy suits and their marketing campaigns continued.

Still running this live earlier in the homepage feed but this moment is worth picking out as it is more or less EXACTLY what one random MAGA asshole posted on Fox News all the way back in November, that kids should learn to live with less stuff because he’s going to raise prices.

Legendary Denver Broncos QB John Elway killed his longtime agent turned business partner with a golf cart in California on Saturday, TMZ reports. Jeff Sperbeck, 61, is not dead yet but is being prepped for organ harvesting after falling off the vehicle allegedly being driven by Elway, 64, in La Quinta, California on Saturday. The two founded a winery after Elway’s retirement and… yeah…

Bad enough the guy’s braindead. Worse would be if Elway were drunk on their wine.

On this day in history 80 years ago the original inspiration behind the MAGA movement shot himself dead in a bunker underneath Berlin as Soviet troops stormed into the city, the capital to a nation utterly devastated after six years of a war that Adolf Hitler himself had started.

Hitler’s self-inflicted end was no comfort to the few who had opposed his rule, they had suffered just as badly at the hands of the Allies and the Russians as those who did. Keep that in mind if and when you’re ever tempted to embrace the blackpill of enjoying the ruin Trump has wrought.

A Homer, Alaska-area dog is lucky to be alive after nearly getting hit by a Cessna 207 coming in for a landing at the Nanwalek airstrip Monday afternoon, the pooch avoiding a gruesome fate after the single-engine plane’s pilot pulled up at the last second, KTUU reports citing NTSB officials.

“What we understand now is that there may have been an animal, namely a dog, that was on the runway. The pilot initiated a go-around. There was also another company airplane behind – he was talking to that airplane at the same time – said he was initiating the go-around, made a right turn away from the runway, pretty steep climb, and unfortunately, there was a loss of control,” NTSB state chief Clint Johnson told reporters, not mentioning any detail about the dog like if it was a mischievous little Lab puppy with an adorable wet nose named Dodger or Zowie or Corduroy.

“We don’t want to draw any conclusions at this point,” Johnson added, again not describing the dog’s color and what kind of chew toys he or she likes to play with. “We still are in the very formative stages. We are going to be looking very closely at that airplane. We are in the recovery process right now to get that airplane back to Homer and probably eventually back to Anchorage here where we are going to lay it out and make sure there are no mechanical issues that led to this loss of control.”

“Rescuers were able to pull that wreckage up a little bit further away from the water, but nevertheless it is in the tide zone,” Johnson, who is obviously a cat person, said about the plane and the dead people and the one guy who survived with horrible injuries and blah blah blah and not about the canine who made a mistake but is still a good doggie and deserves a treat.