WATCH LIVE: Trump reads investment fan fiction tales

Reminder: All this shit the fat bastard claims is “investment” is just vague, non-committal plans to spend money on this or that project that’ll take years. There’s nothing actually happening yet.

Pizzagate asshole laments Trump’s failure to end shoplifting

Legal expert weighs in on big Supreme Court case

Walmart CFO says price hikes already happening

Bondi sold at least $1 million in $DJT on “Liberation Day”

Fox News reports other dictator skipping “peace talks”

Troops don’t laugh at Trump joke about “fourth election win”

Russian national indicted for smuggling biological material into US

House GOP’s frustrations laid maybe just a little too bare

Mauritania appeals court overturns former president’s five year prison bid – and then hits him with 15 years plus a $3 million fine

Vlad bitches out of face-to-face with Zelensky in Turkey

“RUMP” watch leaves cultist couple wanting

Florida heading for epic housing crash

Mar-a-Lago docs case prosecutor pleads Fifth to Jim Jordan

House Dems ask Treasury for SARs on Trump, Musk, etc

Mike Johnson complains members of Congress aren’t paid enough

Federal judge orders green carder Georgetown academic freed

The Hill celebrates 2 percent increase in Trump approval rating

Drug overdose deaths dropped to pre-2020 levels last year

Yeah, what about the Statute of Liberty? That was a foreign gift too!

WATCH LIVE: House Oversight hearing on ICE stormtroopers

“This was beginning to hurt Trump’s supporters – Trump’s people”

Foolish mortals tempt wrath of Zeus by transmuting lead into gold

WATCH LIVE: Orange Ayatollah signs bribery agreement

Paxton’s impeachment and FBI raid an asset in primary: Politico

President finds Syrian warlord now leading nation “attractive”

“What if John Wilkes Booth is under my bed? What if he’s hiding?”

Dems to fly “Qatar-a-Lago” banner over Mar-a-Lago

Fat idiot directly contradicts what he said in previous article

Orange Corruption Slut still going with “it’s for the country, not me”

Top Mexican official confirms Trump let cartel boss’s family into US

ICE agents left 12 year-old kid alone on sidewalk after arrest

Wave of Sudden Exploding Bird Syndrome hits California town

Texas bill banning abortion pill also bans court rulings on it

Yes tax on tips, yes tax on overtime, yes tax on Social Security

Majority of Trump voters think pissing off other countries with trade war good for “US global standing”: Economist/YouGov poll

Ed Martin bitches out of prosecuting Chuck Schumer

WATCH LIVE: House GOP starts work on tax giveaway to wealthy

Saudis deploy mobile McDonald’s for Trump visit

Straw man predicts he’s out of business by the end of the year

New villains emerge in season premiere of hit series “Fox News”

Illinois Dem intros primate control bill

Indian foreign ministry says Trump full of shit about ceasefire

“So it’s legal, it’s ethical”

Regime pulls another $450 million in grants to Harvard

UnitedHealth CEO abruptly quits for “personal reasons”

WATCH LIVE: President pitches innovative new bribery schemes to Arab investors at major conference hosted by Prince Bonesaw

“SALT caucus” ignored by House GOP leadership

Judge warns Habba not to sink her case against Newark mayor

“They asked why is President Trump so orange… These kids”

Florida Republican voter’s $30,000 FEMA check bounces twice