Do you love exhaustively-detailed stories about container ships? No. Too bad. YouTube is out of decent-enough movies and this terrifying tale is considerably scarier than most horror films anyway.

“Last night I saw, ‘MELANIA,’ for the second time. The audience loved it, and so do I. Check it out – A MUST SEE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, hours after enough professional film critics – who were not screened it in advance – had reviewed the piece of shit to give in an 8 percent aggregate rating at Rotten Tomatoes. The sole “positive” review making up that rounded figure is a meager 3/5 stars from some bloody wanker British Karen at the “London Evening Standard.”

A grand total of four out of 78 tickets have been sold for the 10:10 EST Friday showing of the rapist-directed “movie” at the Times Square Regal Cinemas, the closest multiplex to the Trump Tower.

Not even the fat fucking con artist Donald can spin his way out of this failure. Even ticket sales weren’t ever the point – it was forcing Jeff Bezos into submission – it’s still gonna sting Dirty Donald.

Trump then screamed at Republicans to sack up and support Kristi Noem, writing “The Radical Left Lunatics, Insurrectionists, Agitators, and Thugs, are going after Kristi Noem, the Secretary of Homeland Security, because she is a woman, and has done a really GREAT JOB!” and blah blah blah and “don’t let these Crooked Democrats, who are stealing Billions of Dollars from Minnesota, and other Cities and States from all over the Country, push you around. They are using this aggressive protest SCAM to obfuscate, camouflage, and hide their CRIMINAL ACTS of theft and insurrection.”

“They should all be in jail. I was elected on Strong Borders, and Law and Order, among many other things. Thank you to Secretary Kristi Noem. Remember, ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!”

Pennsylvania State Troopers executing a search warrant on a very credibly suspected child porn enthusiast in Myerstown on Wednesday never got to the search or arrest part because they ended up immediately and fatally blasting 47 year-old exterminator John McDowell, CBS 21 reports.

The evidence against McDowell was extremely overwhelming as it was disturbing. The scumbag, who looks very MAGA but cannot be definitively determined as such, had outright wrote “pedo” who “needs” children’s private parts, and shared pics of a four-or-five year old girl he had claimed he’d molested, according to the search warrant. CBS 21 did not link it but describe screenshots of other messages sent by McDowell to members-only groups on the private messaging app Kik, previously famous for being the favorite of anti-“groomer” Republican now-former South Carolina state Representative and convicted child molester RJ May III, now serving 17 years in federal prison.

It’s still not clear if McDowell was actually armed during the confrontation. Neighbors speaking to CBS 21 kind of shrugged off that part. “I mean, it was either that or he’s going to jail for the rest of his life,” said Thomas Malloy. “I’m glad he’s off the street, if the allegations are true about him specifically. I mean, it’s a shame it had to come to a shooting,” other neighbor Jason Borden said.

Copied verbatim from MS Now’s Ken Dilanian to not mince words: “Sources who were aware of this had expressed concern that it would never see the light of day. It did – briefly. Now it has been taken down. What’s up, ⁦@DAGToddBlanche⁩?” Dilanian’s tweet zeroes in specifically on the top row.

Also note the appearance of the Alexander brothers, the trio of Israeli-American luxury real estate hustlers who are currently facing trial in a fucking monster federal sex trafficking case that was brought in December 2024 when it was still the Merrick Garland Justice Department.

The “Robin Leach strangled a girl to death” is probably from some troll, but the rest of this is certainly the side of the lifestyles of the rich and the famous you never got to see on his show. The fact the DOJ fucking deleted the page should tell you that the rest of it is real enough to the Regime.

On Dec 14, 2013, at 12:35 AM, Elon Musk (nice job making sure all the email addresses are redacted, Blanchey) wrote: “Will be in the BVI/St Bart’s area over the holidays. Is there a good time to visit?” to which jeevacation@gmail.com, aka Jeffrey Epstein replied “I will send hell for you.” The brief exchange is just one of over 1,100 documents in the Justice Department’s searchable database in which the scrappy Afrikaner refugee/illegal immigrant to the United States is mentioned.

Among the millions of Jeffrey Epstein-related documents dumped by the Justice Department on Friday is a curious and previously unknown email timestamped “Wed 10/23/2002 7:40:52 PM,” subject line “HI!” and reading “Dear [Ghislaine], How are you? Nice story about JE in NY mag. You look great on the picture. I know you are very busy flying all over the world. How was Palm Beach? I cannot wait to go down. Give me a call when you are back in NY. Have a great time! Love, Melania”

And yes, Melania is referring to the exact story in which her then-future husband infamously is quoted as saying “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy… He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

Want to go even deeper in the rabbit hole? Paolo Zampoli, the sleazy modeling agency hustler who recruited Melania to come to the US and was hosting the party at which she met Donald in 1998, shows up in the search results of the DOJ’s newest tranche too. And it is some WEIRD shit:

Telling the media that “the number of responsive pages is significantly smaller than the total number of pages initially collected. That’s what we’re releasing more than 3 million pages today and not the 6 million pages that we collected,” convicted felon President Trump’s defense lawyer/current Deputy Attorney General of the United States Todd Blanche on Friday – 42 days after the statutory deadline for their release – announced that another large tranche of the Justice Department’s files on Jeffrey Epstein are now available for public and media consumption in a byzantine database.

Republican former Nebraska state Senator Brett Lindstrom on Friday announced he’s throwing the towel in on the race to succeed retiring Congressman Don Bacon, one of just three House Republicans repping a district won by former Vice President Kamala Harris in the 2024 election.

“After careful reflection, prayer, and thoughtful consideration over the past few weeks, Brett Lindstrom announced today that he is stepping away from the race for Congress. ‘This was not an easy decision,’ Lindstrom said. ‘Over the past several weeks, I’ve taken time to reflect, pray, and have honest conversations with my family about where I can best focus my time and energy. Right now, my priority needs to be my family and continuing to make a difference here in Omaha and across Nebraska – not in Washington, DC,'” said the very ChatGPT-ish first half of the press release.

Then it gets interesting, even kind of tantalizing for those who crave anecdotal evidence of a pending Blue Wave: “Lindstrom emphasized that the decision is not due to a lack of confidence in his campaign or its support. ‘I was confident that we were on a strong path to winning the nomination,’ he said. ‘However, when looking ahead to what would be an exceptionally brutal general election, I felt it was the responsible decision to pause this campaign and step back at this time.'”

According to the Nebraska Examiner, Lindstrom had a 1 percent lead over Omaha City Councilman Brinker Harding in the most recent polling among NE-2’s Republican primary voters, polling they say indicated some vulnerability for Brinker on certain issues. On the other hand Brinker was expected to show a significant money advantage over Lindstrom in upcoming FEC fundraising reports.

It would actually be malpractice to report that without an indictment being docketed or announced or confirmed by a participant in the proceedings — unless this is the formal announcement by the White House? https://t.co/PgZ2iHIuTN

— Kyle Cheney (@kyledcheney) January 30, 2026

Convicted felon President Trump’s top political aide James Blair sure brought the not-receipts on Friday when he called the mainstream media out for reporting that Don Lemon had been arrested rather than indicted, to which Politico’s top legal reporter Kyle Cheney asked him politely where said receipt was. Blair apparently has yet to respond to Cheney with a link to the indictment PDF.

A Manhattan federal judge on Friday blocked the Trump Regime from seeking the death penalty for United Health CEO Brian Thompson’s assassin Luigi Mangione, the AP reports on a L for Pam Blondi.

“On Wednesday, Jan 28, 2026, at approximately 6:30 pm, officers were dispatched to an apartment complex near the 9500 block of Jeremiah Dr in reference to a shooting. Officers arrived on scene and located an adult male victim with an apparent gunshot wound to his head. Officers started rendering CPR until they were relieved by Fort Worth Fire EMS. The victim was transported to a local hospital for continued medical treatment. The victim did not survive his injuries and was pronounced deceased several hours later. Detectives with the Gun Violence Unit learned that an argument between friends had taken place,” says the Ft Worth, Texas Police Department in a Facebook post.

“The argument started over an order of french fries that the victim did not want to share with the suspect, and a verbal argument between the two escalated to a shooting. The suspect fled the apartment after the shooting. Detectives interviewed multiple witnesses and have identified the suspected shooter. The suspect is known to live in the same apartment complex. Officers searched the area and the suspect’s apartment, but did not locate the suspect. Detectives are actively looking for the suspect to speak with him about the incident. This incident is an isolated event, and there is no known danger to the general public,” the post continued, emphasis added here by National Zero.

Sure, maybe it’s reasonable for them to say this particular suspect is no threat to the general public, but when you live in a state where a significant portion of the populace are always carrying and a situation that in, say, Scotland would have been a fistfight – maybe a stabbing at worst – then, well…

When you have to write “an order of french fries that the victim did not want to share” and “escalated to a shooting” then no, it is not factually correct to write that there is no danger to the public at large. The public in Texas is in mortal danger at all times, every minute of every day.

The Confederates were the bad guys in the Civil War, according to House Majority Whip Tom Emmer’s take on this very specific limited instance of Gov Tim Walz evoking “Fort Sumter” in the Trump Administration’s campaign of brutality against the people of Minneapolis. The Confederates are also the bad guys when some MAGA Twitter user posts “I haven’t seen the Democrats this upset since Lincoln freed all the slaves” because LMAO Trump owned the libs on this or that.

Such instances however are isolated perturbations in the overall narrative of “muh heritage” in which military installations named after Confederate officers and monuments are threatened by the “woke left” who want to rewrite history. And also “restoring truth and sanity to American history” by removing any mentions of slavery from various sites managed by federal National Park Service.

Former CNN host-turned-independent podcaster Don Lemon has been arrested by the FBI in over his accompanying anti-ICE libs into a church run by a pro-MAGA pastor in St Paul, Minnesota earlier this month, the New York Times reports. It’s not clear if he’s actually been indicted.

“Don Lemon was taken into custody by federal agents last night in Los Angeles, where he was covering the Grammy awards. Don has been a journalist for 30 years, and his constitutionally protected work in Minneapolis was no different than what he has always done. This unprecedented attack on the First Amendment and transparent attempt to distract attention from the many crises facing this administration will not stand. Don will fight these charges vigorously and thoroughly in court,” said Lemon’s very fucking smart and tenacious lawyer Abbe Lowell in a statement.

Fate giveth Aileen Cannon, faith taketh away Aileen Cannon. Convicted felon President Trump’s $10 billion lawsuit against the Internal Revenue Service has landed in front of Obama appointee Judge Kathleen Williams, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports on a nightmarishly bad hand for the fat fuck.

President Donald J. Trump nominates Kevin Warsh as Chairman of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve pic.twitter.com/M5FHQJzY2a

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) January 30, 2026

“Agitator and, perhaps, insurrectionist, Alex Pretti’s stock has gone way down with the just released video of him screaming and spitting in the face of a very calm and under control ICE Officer, and then crazily kicking in a new and very expensive government vehicle, so hard and violent, in fact, that the taillight broke off in pieces. It was quite a display of abuse and anger, for all to see, crazed and out of control. The ICE Officer was calm and cool, not an easy thing to be under those circumstances! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” posted convicted felon President Trump at 1:26 AM on Friday, implying that breaking a tail light is now punishable by summary execution.

A teenage girl probably actually has internal bleeding after some MAGA bro in what appears to be a Chevy Equinox with a large Trump flag hit her during a student-led anti-ICE protest in front of of Fremont High School in Omaha, Nebraska on Thursday afternoon, News Channel Nebraska reports.

Videos of the incident from two angles shows the male driver, who might be a student himself, stop the car and get out briefly to yell at the lib kids. Realizing he was outnumbered, the MAGA kid jumped back in and put it in drive, only to strike the girl and send her onto the hood. The girl was conscious and responsive as she was wheeled onto an ambulance following the hit. Cops have yet to issue a statement on the incident but it does not appear that the son of a bitch was able to flee.

Convicted felon President Trump on Thursday sued the Internal Revenue Service for $10 billion, accusing them of “leaking” his tax returns, NBC News reports and there’s not a goddamned thing you or anyone can do to stop him from ordering the agency to settle with him for the full amount.

If woman-beating scumbag Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills heard any shit about his personal conduct from voters in his district during a Thursday town hall the Orlando Sentinel didn’t put anything about it in their article. That doesn’t mean it went well though.

The dickhead first got booed for answering “What about arresting members of ICE wrongfully shooting and killing Americans? How are you going to protect your district from ICE?” with “I think we need to tone down the dangerous rhetoric.” He was later booed again after a man shouted “Alex Pretti was executed!” and Mills responded with “Authorities are still reviewing evidence, and so far, evidence seen doesn’t confirm an execution… The purpose of ICE is to get rid of violent criminals.”

The Sentinel describes Mills as having gotten “frustrated” and saying to one voter “Sir, do you want me to continue to finish, or do you wanna continue to go on like a bumbling moron?”

Mills will probably be reelected by at least a 10 or 15 percent margin in November. Probably higher.