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Noem continues hyping fantasy CNN charges over anti-ICE app

Way to be a team player, Kristi. Telling Fox News’s audience what they want to hear about someone from CNN actually going to prison for fucking reporting on the ICEBlock app and saying you’re “so thrilled Pam is willing to be proactive” and “looking into it” instead of maybe managing expectations and being just a little tiny bit more realistic about that ridiculous fucking fantasy. And once again:

HOW THE FUCK IS CNN MORE CULPABLE THAN APPLE OR THE DEVELOPER? IN THEORY FOX NEWS IS JUST AS CULPABLE BECAUSE THEY KEEP MENTIONING THIS FUCKING APP TOO. HELL THEY’VE PROBABLY AIRED MULTIPLE TIMES MORE SEGMENTS ABOUT BLOCKICE THAN CNN DID.

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Reich freezes $7 billion in education funds

“Since day one, the Trump administration has attacked public education, undermining both K-12 and higher education, and with it opportunity in America. The administration has been stopped by the courts and the court of public opinion at every turn, and instead of recognizing that Americans want to invest in our children’s future, they turn their backs on the voices of parents, educators and our students,” said American Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten in a statement after the Trump Regime froze $7 billion in funding to public schools this week for who the hell knows what stupid reason they’re going to make up to unnecessarily fuck with people this time.

“Last year they tried to condition federal aid on schools adhering to their political and ideological whims. That was stopped by the courts. Now, they have delayed disbursements of billions in desperately needed federal funds for student services and instruction, as the Education Department weighs whether the money will be spent according to Trump’s ‘priorities.’ This is another illegal usurpation of the authority of the Congress. Plus it directly harms the children in our nation.”

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Federal judge blocks DHS from pulling Haitian refugees’ status

A Brooklyn federal judge on Tuesday blocked the Trump Regime’s move to end temporary deportation protections and work permits for approximately 521,000 Haitian immigrants ahead of the February 3, 2026 expiry date set by President Biden, Reuters reports on another L for the Reich.

“Secretary Noem does not have statutory or inherent authority to partially vacate a country’s TPS designation,” making her actions “unlawful,” Eastern District of New York Circuit Judge Brian Cogan wrote. “Plaintiffs are likely to (and, indeed, do) succeed on the merits,” Cogan continued in the ruling, adding that the Haitian refugees’ interests in being able to live and work in the United States “far outweigh” potential harm to the Trump Administration, which isn’t actually harmed at all by their presence. Except for maybe on the margins of their base who still believe that stupid racist horseshit about them eating the cats, eating the dogs, eating the pets in Springfield, Ohio.

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Norwegian Prince Joffrey suspected of multiple rapes

Now Marius Borg Hoiby technically isn’t royalty, not even a “bastard,” really. He’s the son of Norwegian Crown Princess Mette-Marit by a previous marriage and stepson to Crown Prince Haakon, heir to the Scandinavian country’s throne, a lineage that does not and never will include Hoiby. But damned if the fucker doesn’t look like Prince Joffrey or Viserys Targaryen or some other entitled shithead character from Game of Thrones and/or House of The Dragon, right?

Unlike those assholes – and Ramsay Bolton – it seems like Hoiby, 28, is actually going to be held accountable though civilized, legal means rather than having molten gold poured on his head or poisoned or his face ripped off by his own dogs, as DW reports cops in Norway last week charged Hoiby with multiple counts of rape, sexual assault and bodily harm. “I cannot go into further detail about the number of victims in the case beyond confirming that it is a double-digit number,” Oslo Police Attorney Andreas Kruszewski told reporters, though the BBC puts the number at 23.

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Demented grandpa claims Alcatraz coming along nicely

“Because of the Violence and Criminality I have seen due to the Open Border Policy of Sleepy Joe Biden, in particular allowing millions of people into our Country who shouldn’t be here, I wanted something representative to show how we fight back, and then, it happened, I saw a picture of ALCATRAZ looking so foreboding, and I said, ‘We’re going to look into renovating and rebuilding the famous ALCATRAZ Prison sitting high on the Bay, surrounded by sharks. What a symbol it is, and will be!’ Conceptual work started six months ago, and various prison development firms are looking at doing it with us. Still a little early, but lots of promise!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, evidently having been reminded that he was supposed to be working on reopening the infamous prison after having visited “Alligator Alcatraz” earlier in the day.

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CNN not particularly scared of Kristi Noem

Responding to dog-murdering Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem’s bullshit about prosecuting them for reporting on the growing popularity of the ICEBlock app, a CNN spokesperson tells Politico the obvious, that “This is an app that is publicly available to any iPhone user who wants to download it. There is nothing illegal about reporting the existence of this or any other app, nor does such reporting constitute promotion or other endorsement of the app by CNN.”

Again, that they’re talking this kind of shit about CNN rather than the developer or Apple is kind of a tell that they don’t really know what they’re doing and just look like freaking dumbasses.

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Congressional Dems’ approval sucks: YouGov/Economist poll

This week’s YouGov/Economist national survey finds just 30 percent of respondents approving of Dems in Congress to 62 percent disapproving, handing Fox News a talking point with which they’ll completely ignore that Hill Republicans aren’t doing all that much better at 38 to 52 percent approve/disapprove, nor is fat slob President Trump himself at 42 to 53 percent approve/disapprove.

Broken down by 2024 vote however, the fat fuck’s approval actually looks even a bit worse: There’s always usually a low single digit of crossover in these polls, like how for whatever stupid reason Trump’s approve/disapprove is at 5 and 94 percent of Harris voters. Yet Trump’s disapproval among his own voters is nearly three times higher at 14 percent, so when you narrow it down to 2024 voters and offset 5 percent from each, his approval’s somewhere closer to 37 percent.

In another stupid finding reflecting poorly on Dem voters, 41 percent of Harris voters do not believe the Orange God Emperor legitimately won the 2024 election. Four percent of his own voters do not.

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Epstein defeats Weiner

A full tally of New York City’s ranked-choice ballots has determined that State Assemblyman Harvey Epstein has defeated disgraced sexual predator former Congressman Anthony Weiner in the race for a lower Manhattan city council seat, the AP reports on Weiner’s latest failed comeback attempt.

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Jimmy Swaggart dies of punishment for his sins

MAGAchurch Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart finally died from God punishing him for his sins or something at the age of 90 on Tuesday, NBC News reports without listing some of his many scandals that millennials are unfamiliar with and may have difficulty describing concisely without a summary from a major legacy news organization that would have much if not all of the relevant information handy to put in their postmortem article. Hint fucking hint, NBC.

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Jerome Powell confirms high rates are Trump’s own fucking fault

Speaking to a forum in Portugal on Tuesday, Federal Reserve Bank chair Jerome Powell said for all of convicted felon President Trump’s constant bitching and crying about high interest rates that they are, as everyone knows, actually his fault due to his stupid trade war, CNBC reports

“In effect, we went on hold when we saw the size of the tariffs and essentially all inflation forecasts for the United States went up materially as a consequence of the tariffs,” said Powell.

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Surprise! Wess Roley showed “Nazi tendencies” in school

You will not be surprised to learn that Wess Roley, the 20 year-old MAGA terrorist who was killed after murdering two firefighters and injuring a third in an ambush shooting near Coeur d’Alene, Idaho on Sunday showed “Nazi tendencies” in high school, former classmates tell USA Today.

“My good friend saw drawings of swastikas and guns in his notebook,” former friend Harry Standley said of Roley. “We were all pretty scared of him… None of us have had any contact with him for years. I’m just really sad about what happened. Everybody just thought he was weird. He was also obsessed with guns,” Standley, who said he used to play Call of Duty with Roley, continued.

Dieter Denen, who attended elementary, middle, and high school with Roley, also recalled the swastika drawings. Denen said he always thought Roley’s Naziphilia was just a “kid being edgy,” adding “We all thought he was just messing around – that that was his way of trying to stand out.”

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“We’ll have to take a look”: Trump on deporting Elon Musk

Asked on Tuesday morning if he would deport former friend Ketamine Brain over his renewed opposition to the Big Beautiful Bill, convicted felon President Trump told reporters “We’ll have to take a look,” before going into more general, realistic threats. “We might have to put DOGE on Elon. You know what DOGE is? The monster that might have to go back and eat Elon. Wouldn’t that be terrible? He gets a lot of subsidies,” Trump said as captured by clip guy Acyn Torabi.

Now obviously the exchange – likely prompted by Trump writing “Elon would probably have to close up shop and head back home to South Africa” in his overnight rant – skipped a step because there’s no simply deporting naturalized US citizens. Key word there is “naturalized” because the Trump Regime last month ordered the Justice Department to “prioritize” denaturalizations of anyone they don’t like by finding misrepresentations on the forms they filled out during the process.

You know who might have made misrepresentations during his US citizenship process? Elon Musk.

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Top Thailand court suspends Prime Minister Ivanka Paetongtarn

Thailand’s Constitutional Court on Tuesday granted a petition brought by 36 senators who have accused Prime Minister Ivanka Paetongtarn Shinawatra of violating the constitution for breaching ethical standards during a call last month with former Cambodian Prime Minister/current Senate President Hun Sen, a call that was taped and leaked to the press amid serious tensions between the two neighboring countries, CNN reports on Bangkok’s ping-ponging political crisis.

Long story as short as possible: Paetongtarn Shinawatra, 38, is the daughter of former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra, himself ousted in a 2006 coup. On the leaked June 15th call with Hun Sen she addressed the semi-retired Cambodian dictator as “uncle” and badmouthed her own army’s actions after border clashes led to the death of a Cambodian soldier last month.

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Fox News reports Ark Encounter an inspiring, not-to-be-missed, fully immersive Biblical history experience for the whole family

Wonder what it was like in the room when the producers decided they had to put “This segment is made possible by our sponsor: Ark Encounter” at the bottom. Was it a contentious fight between the brass and some conscientious objectors who put their feet down and said “Alright, this payola has gone too far for too long. Enough is enough. Either we disclose the Ark Encounter sponsorship on-screen or you find another fucking live broadcast engineering team at 5:35 AM on a Tuesday”?

Maybe that’s a stretch but equally hard to imagine is that there wasn’t at least some level of angst that led Fox to invoke that imprimatur of journalistic ethics, that finally somewhere there’s a line for them after decades of crossing so many of the others that still exist at real news organizations.

Then again what’s one more line? Plus they run a shit ton of other payola without disclosure. Hell if anything maybe this one being so blatant as to force the sponsorship functions as an effective limited hangout, that if they were “honest” about this one then other, marginally more subtle, undisclosed advertorials would appear as sincere enthusiasm and/or normal “buzz” coverage.

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Zeb Smathers floated as Dem recruit in North Carolina Senate race

Dem former North Carolina Governor is “strongly considering a run” for the US Senate seat to be vacated by Thom Tillis next year and “will decide in the coming weeks” on whether to launch a campaign, Cooper’s top political adviser tells Politico about his thinking. It’s not clear what the hell the holdup is, even if “strongly considering” is obviously a good sign. National Dems see the seat as still winnable but a much longer shot should Cooper ultimately pass on it.

Further down the article Politico lists some potential backup candidates should Cooper end up passing: “former Rep Dan McCready, former Environmental Protection Agency Director Michael Regan, Lt Gov Rachel Hunt, state Rep Sarah Crawford and Canton, NC, Mayor Zeb Smathers.”

An April UNC Law School alum newsletter article includes a pic of Smathers’ head turning toward President Joe Biden in the Oval Office during a November 2024 meeting about the recovery efforts after Hurricane Helene. It’s not clear which one of the two men with short, dark hair looking at Biden is Smathers, though it’s likely he’s the one on the right since it’d make more sense to have then-Governor-Elect/Attorney General Josh Stein sitting closer to the president than a mayor.

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