“Trump extends China tariff deadline by 90 days” says the headline at CNBC to an article that says “This is breaking news. Please refresh for updates.” Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Been a while since National Zero just directly reported a geek entertainment event without having to backdoor it into political commentary right? Nope. No politics in this one. Just a PSA for Alien: Earth, a new spinoff series in which the xenomorph isn’t the only parasitic extraterrestrial menace.

Check it out on Hulu and maybe (?) FX on the regular cable TV plan if no Hulu for you.

At least one steelworker is dead and dozens more have been injured in an explosion at the Clairton Coke Works, a US Steel plant in the Pittsburgh-area town of the same name, WTAE reports.

“It shook my chest. It shook the building, then we saw the dark smoke rising from the steel mill,” said witness Zach Buday. “Put two and two together. It’s like something bad happened.” The AP reports dozens of workers may be trapped under the rubble, so yeah this seems fucking bad.

Since we already know this would’ve been Biden’s fault if it had happened a year ago, feel free to jump to conclusions about workplace safety deregulation occurring under the Trump Regime.

Wilton, Connecticut CFO Dawn Norton swears she told other public officials – including the selectperson whom she was required to report this to – in her former Long Island Sound community that she was also working as the Town Administrator and Finance Director of Greybull, Wyoming but she was fired anyway last week when Wliton admin Matt Knickerbocker decided it was a problem that their $210,000/year CFO had moved 2,100 miles away in May, Good Morning Wilton reports.

The article’s long and hard to follow, really only good for a headline. Norton’s not fighting it as she was relocating and had only planned to stay on remotely with Wilton until November.

Former federal convict Kathryn Comolli tells the Daily Mail that her one-time bunkmate at Federal Correctional Institution Tallahassee, Jeffrey Epstein accomplice and sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell, that it was “common knowledge” among inmates that Maxwell had some kind of plan to avoid serving the full 20 years in the joint she had been sentenced to in 2022. A political one.

“I heard her tell another inmate that she had dirt on Trump and that it was going to get her a pardon from Biden. I guess Biden’s camp just didn’t want to go down that route,” said Comolli, a meth trafficker who slept across from Maxwell for two years prior to Comolli’s release in 2024.

Now (1) It’s the Daily Mail (2) It’s the Daily Mail (3) It’s a former convict telling them this story (4) If, despite the previous three items Maxwell really did say this to other inmates in the Tallahassee facility, there’s still the whole thing about her being a lying sociopath who will say anything as long as it helps her escape the consequences of her actions and eventually find her way out of prison.

And since that works both ways well, here she is now at the Club Fed in Texas. So yeah, there’s probably some element of truth to what this woman said about Maxwell’s time in the Florida joint.

Here is the evidence she cheated on her husband. It is said that excessive steroid use in women makes women develop a form of increased sex drive. @mtgreenee claims to be a Christian but she cheats and lies to get what she wants. She wears a cross around her neck as she cheats on… pic.twitter.com/zKhdJFNNhU

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) August 11, 2025

The Texas Republican Party is workshopping a method of “legislative review” for members of the state House and Senate that would vet the votes they made and deem undesirables as subject to censure and thus banning from the ballot in next year’s primary election, the Texas Tribune reports.

“A fire broke out on Arthur’s Seat, a landmark dormant volcano in Edinburgh, Scotland, on Sunday, according to local authorities,” writes CNN in the lede to a Monday article headlined “Fire breaks out on Arthur’s Seat, Edinburgh’s famous dormant volcano,” about the multi-acre blaze which local fire officials said was nearly under control as of Monday morning with no reported injuries.

The thing about Arthur’s Seat is that it’s “dormant” in the same way that the dinosaurs that hadn’t even evolved yet the last time it erupted 350 million years ago are “dormant.” It’s actually extinct and it will never erupt again, so maybe CNN should’ve just called it a “hill.”

Convicted felon President Trump will on Monday announce the activation of hundreds of National Guard troops to clear out the homeless people he saw while being driven in his limo to his Virginia golf course. This presser’s probably going to be an interesting one, to say the least.

CBS News White House Correspondent Ed O’Keefe reports that he was handed a “document comparing crime in Washington to other major world capitals,” with Ottawa spelled as “Ottowa.”

SDNY Circuit Judge Paul Engelmayer on Monday did what the Trump Regime had hoped he would do and denied their bid to unseal grand jury testimony from the case against Jeffrey Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell. Engelmayer, an Obama appointee, did however slip in some trolling, calling the kabuki effort akin to what the reich did with those MAGA influencers back in February.

Wrote Engelmayer: “The evidence put before the Maxwell grand juries is today, with only very minor exceptions, a matter of public record. The Government admitted as much in response to the Court’s order: ‘The enclosed, annotated transcripts show that much of the information provided during the course of the grand jury testimony – with the exception of the identities of certain witnesses – was made publicly available at [Maxwell’s] trial or has otherwise been publicly reported through the public statements of victims and witnesses.’ And because the Government proposes to redact the witnesses’ identities, the exception it noted does not reflect information that the public would learn were the grand jury transcripts unsealed. The Court’s review confirmed that unsealing the grand jury materials would not reveal new information of any consequence,” emphasis added.

Continued, with more emphasis added: “In response to the Court’s order, the Government supplied the Court with a binder highlighting any information that the Government had been unable to determine is public. Only scattered words, clauses, and occasional sentences are highlighted. These items are few and far between. The highlighted snippets supply, at most, tertiary details about the same conduct that was the focus of Maxwell’s month-long trial. The same is so for the exhibits put before the grand juries. Save inconsequential portions of a few exhibits, these were received in evidence at Maxwell’s trial. Some were reproduced in the Maxwell indictments.”

In an exchange described in article about the Epstein shitshow following Congressional Republicans home to town halls this month, NOTUS reports MAGA Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin began his response recently by telling a constituent “Wish you didn’t ask me that question.”

“When you hear President Trump talk about ‘Release the files.’ You hear Pam Bondi, ‘Release the files.’ You hear Kash Patel, ‘Release the files.’ You hear us say, ‘Release the files.’ We want transparency,” Mullin said. “That’s what we want. Transparency. But we can’t force the courts to do it. The president is part of the executive branch. We’re part of the legislative branch. Courts? That’s judicial. That’s co-equal branches of government. We can’t force them. We can simply ask them.”

NOTUS points out that Mullin used the same logic last month when he blocked a Dem resolution calling for the Justice Department to release everything they have, calling it “political theater” and then telling the Senate “What we’re simply trying to do is give [Trump] cover,” with his own, much more limited, resolution calling for the release of grand jury transcripts from dirty Jeff’s 2008 case.

Pennsylvania Republican Congressman Ryan Mackenzie was even lamer last month when he told voters at a town hall that “The Trump administration has now been in office for six months. I know they have not released as much as I would like to see to date, but hopefully they’re going to be doing that. And if not, then Congress should potentially step in and compel them to do that.”

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Take the test! pic.twitter.com/K3eFFXeUUa

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) August 11, 2025

Holy shit! How did Axios get scooped on this? The Charleston Post and Courier reports that Virginia Gov Glenn Youngkin attended the South Carolina state GOP’s annual Silver Elephant fundraiser an appearance that “fueled intrigue around a possible run for president in 2028.” 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨!!!

WHOA! And he bragged about vetoing over 400 bills passed by the Dem-controlled state legislature!

Convicted felon President Trump will deploy hundreds of National Guard troops to Washington, DC to clear out homeless people and arrest anyone who looks suspicious, Reuters reports.

“We’re having a News Conference tomorrow in the White House. I’m going to make our Capital safer and more beautiful than it ever was before. The Homeless have to move out, IMMEDIATELY. We will give you places to stay, but FAR from the Capital. The Criminals, you don’t have to move out. We’re going to put you in jail where you belong. It’s all going to happen very fast, just like the Border. We went from millions pouring in, to ZERO in the last few months. This will be easier — Be prepared!”

“There will be no ‘MR NICE GUY.’ We want our Capital BACK. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, eager for violence and repression.

Neckbeard Vice President JD Vance’s lack of hairsplitting or nuance or even just anything remotely close to convicted felon President Trump’s commands to Republicans to call the Epstein shitshow a “hoax” or “bullshit” and so on does nothing to quell the theory put forward a few weeks ago by the Bulwark’s Jonathan V Last that he’s actually working to undermine the Orange Allah. If anything claiming that Trump has demanded full transparency and just barely indirectly saying he’s refusing to release files that implicate the Clintons and other prominent Dems kind of supercharges it.

Thousands of protesters took to the streets across Israel this weekend to oppose the Netanyahu Regime’s plan to completely seize control of large parts of the Gaza Strip, the BBC reports.

“Crooked Nancy Pelosi, and her very ‘interesting’ husband, beat ever Hedge Fund in 2024. In other words, these two very average ‘minds’ beat ALL of the Super Geniuses on Wall Street, thousands of them. It’s all INSIDE iNFORMATION! Is anybody looking into this??? She is a disgusting degenerate, who Impeached me twice, on NO GROUNDS, and LOST! How are you feeling now, Nancy???” posted an obviously bored and idle convicted felon President Trump on Saturday.

To begin this long story in which one female MAGA influencer accused another of getting fingered in a hotel lobby at a Turning Point USA event (Hey, it says “NSFW” in the headline) requires going back a few months to the beginning in this episode of Jubilee, the super-ultra-mega-viral-buzz-machine YouTube debate show in which 20 nobodies in a circle take on a single media personality from an opposite side, for a few minutes each, one of their top-five most-viewed of all time:

Filmed in January and published in March, longtime liberal commentator Sam Seder vs 20 young Trump fans is kind of depressing to watch. These people are REALLY fucking stupid. At one point Seder, looking like he wanted kill himself, had to explain to a MAGA Zoomer that federal government agencies don’t actually pay taxes to the IRS like they’re privately-owned entities. The embed above however is fast-forwarded to when Sarah Stock sat down told Seder that European and Christian values are America’s dominant culture and other hateful, incomprehensibly delivered bullshit.

And what’s a moment like this if you can’t capitalize upon it and start a “career” as a right wing “influencer”? She “owned” that leftist Jew right to his face so it would be a sin not to start tweeting.

In recognition for the ultimate sacrifice for the glory of Mother Russia, American traitor Michael Gloss who in 2023 defected to the country and was thrilled to fight in “the Ukraine Proxy war” against “Western propaganda” only to be killed in combat in Ukraine in 2024, was this week posthumously awarded the Order of Lenin by murderous dictator Vladimir Putin. Given certain travel restrictions, logistical limitations, and so on it would not be that easy for the Kremlin to get the medal to his mom Juliane Gallina, who also happens to be the CIA’s deputy director for digital innovation.

So during talks in Moscow on Wednesday, Putin asked the Trump Regime’s “special envoy” Steve Witkoff to do him a solid and make sure Gallina got the medal, handing it over to him, CBS News reports. Witkoff accepted it, with the implication that he would deliver it to Gallina obvious enough.

Following the 21 year-old’s death his obituary had simply said that he had died while traveling in Eastern Europe and it was only this April when the CIA had acknowledged that he was KIA in Ukraine after the story broke on some Russian war blog, with a spokesperson for the US intel agency saying Gallina had “suffered an unimaginable personal tragedy in the spring of 2024 when her son Michael Gloss, who struggled with mental health issues, died while fighting in the conflict in Ukraine.”

Whether he was aware Gloss’s background and what happened to him, was not, or had it explained to him by Putin and his minions during this meeting is almost besides the point of what a cowardly twat Witkoff is. MAYBE there’s an extremely narrow case in which it was Mikhail Glostonov from Brighton Beach in Brooklyn where it might’ve been okay for Witkoff to accept it without a lot of questions asked. But a “Michael Gloss” from Northern Virginia should’ve been an immediate red flag that bringing it back might make him an accomplice to cruel trolling of a grieving mother whose son died for fascism and also just so happens to be a top CIA official. What a fucking disgrace.