The family of 28 year-old Brazilian tourist Juliana Marins on Tuesday announced that sadly she passed away during her multi-day ordeal of having fallen off of a cliff and into the crater of Mt Rinjani in Indonesia, the Daily Beast reports “Today, the rescue team managed to reach the place where Juliana Marins was. With great sadness, we inform you that she did not survive. We remain very grateful for all the prayers, messages of affection and support that we have received,” said Marins’ family in a post on Instagram after days of failed rescue attempts by Indonesian crews.

And yeah I need to apologize to readers for the flippant headline “Everybody’s Grown Tourist Woman: The Rescue of Juliana Marins,” using Juliana’s plight to mock the comically over-the-top corny and also depressing aftermath of the 1987 rescue of then-toddler Jessica McClure from a well in Midland, Texas. I was aware of the risk of not awaiting the outcome but had estimated that she would ultimately be rescued. I was wrong and Juliana – by all appearances a spirited, adventurous young lady who was taken far too soon – may have even already passed away by that point. Her family has been through hell these last few days of false hope that only exacerbates the tragedy.

There’s no “but” here, simply an acknowledgement that I’m going to try to be more considerate going forward. I crossed my own line and don’t feel good about it, necessitating this confessional and a re-commitment to being more discerning with my callousness towards the deceased and/or soon-to-be deceased in certain situations. You’ll still see headlines like “Newly-pardoned Capitol rioter newly-dead after being shot by cop” and other such lighthearted treatments when those who fucked around got the ultimate find-out. Sometimes certain readers will have believed I crossed a line, that someone deserves more sympathy than I gave them. It will happen, probably within days.

“As a Member of the United States Congress, I write to formally nominate Donald J Trump, the 47th President of the United States, for the Nobel Peace Prize in recognition of his extraordinary and historic role in brokering an end to the armed conflict between Israel and Iran and preventing the world’s largest state sponsor of terrorism from obtaining the most lethal weapon on the planet. In recent weeks, the world stood on the precipice of a dangerous and potentially regiondestabilizing war. Yet in the face of this crisis, President Trump took bold action to ultimately champion peace through strength and facilitate a ceasefire framework that brought hostilities to a halt. In a statement that has since reverberated around the globe, President Trump announced the terms of a complete and total ceasefire agreement, commending both Israel and Iran for their courage to end the war.”

“His message of mutual respect and peace will now result in a full cessation of military activity, no further escalation, and the preservation of thousands, if not millions, of lives throughout the Middle East and around the globe,” and blah blah blah blah writes cheap little slut Georgia MAGA Congressman Buddy Carter, just absolutely begging for his face to be showered in the in golden glory of his Holy Orange Dominant with an endorsement in the 2026 Georgia Senate GOP primary, a race in which Carter is the only declared candidate and still has yet to get the nod from Trump.

To be completely fair though, Carter absolutely has a better chance of securing the endorsement than the fat fuck has of winning a Nobel Peace Prize on this nomination or any of the 11 others.

Creepy looking weirdo former Trump defense lawyer-turned Justice Department official-turned federal circuit court nominee Emil Bove said he was willing to defy court orders against deporting people, according to a whistleblower complaint obtained by the New York Times.

The whistleblower, former DOJ lawyer Erez Reuveni, was canned in April for insubordination after he admitted to a federal judge that Kilmar Abrego Garcia should not have been sent to the CECOT dungeon in El Salvador the previous month, with MAGA enforcer Todd Blanche informing Reuveni he had failed to “follow a directive from your superiors” in a suspension notice prior to the firing.

In the complaint Reuveni says he “became aware of the plans of DOJ leadership to resist court orders that would impede potentially illegal efforts to deport noncitizens, and further became aware of the details to execute those plans,” and that “Discouraging clients from engaging in illegal conduct is an important part of the role of a lawyer. Mr Reuveni tried to do so and was thwarted, threatened, fired and publicly disparaged for both doing his job and telling the truth to the court.”

Then during a March 14th meeting Bove told other officials that the Orange God Emperor would soon invoke the Alien Enemies Act to speed up deportations and “stressed to all in attendance that the planes needed to take off no matter what.” Bove then acknowledged “the possibility that a court order would enjoin those removals before they could be effectuated” and “that DOJ would need to consider telling the courts ‘fuck you’ and ignore any such order. Mr Reuveni perceived that others in the room looked stunned, and he observed awkward, nervous glances among people in the room.”

IDF aircraft on Tuesday still struck one military target inside Iran in retaliation for the broken ceasefire even after convicted felon President Trump commanded them not to and claimed that the planes had turned around, Axios reports on the outcome of the frantic rage from the longshot Nobel Peace Prize contender’s profane outburst. In fairness, the IDF severely limited the scope of their intended attack, as they had planned to bomb the shit out of Tehran, until Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu relayed Trump’s command to his pilots, allowing just the lone performative strike.

“In the end, it was decided to significantly scale back the strike, cancel the attack on a large number of targets and strike only one radar system outside of Tehran,” an Israeli official said.

A Trump minion told Axios that the Orange God Emperor had expressed to Netanyahu in “an exceptionally firm and direct way” his displeasure with the planned counterstrike. Which means he probably called Netanyahu “a stupid cunt” given that he screamed “fuck” on camera just minutes earlier. “The president told Netanyahu what needed to happen to sustain the ceasefire. The prime minister understood the severity of the situation and the concerns President Trump expressed,” the minion added about the severity of Donald’s need to pretend there’s peace in the Middle East.

Donald later told reporters on Air Force One that he doesn’t want to see regime change in Iran because that would cause “chaos” in the region, which is weird because he was pro-regime change on Sunday when he posted that it’s “not politically correct to use the term” and thus MAGA.

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, who last year tweeted that the International Criminal Court “should stand down on this immediately. Israel has the right to defend itself from terrorist organizations seeking to destroy it. Note to the ICC: the real criminals are with Hamas and in Iran,” after Hague prosecutors obtained an arrest warrant for dictator Benjamin Netanyahu and then-Defense Minister Yoav Gallant, charging them with crimes against humanity, told Fox and Friends this morning that the IDF should not be bombing Iran to avenge Tehran breaking the ceasefire and killing for Israeli civilians in a missile attack, signaling to his party’s voters watching this stupid show that the Jewish state does not in fact have a right to defend itself.

Why? Because that would deprive convicted felon President Trump of the “win” he got by claiming credit for brokering the ceasefire that lasted something like 90 minutes until the missiles were fired. Donald maintaining the image that he achieved peace is more important than Israeli lives and sovereignty. For all the tens of thousands of innocent lives destroyed in during Netanyahu’s depravedly indifferent nearly two-year campaign against Gaza, Lebanon, and elsewhere, the red line is what the Orange Yahweh wants reality to be. That’s what Fox News viewers were told to think.

Speaking to reporters prior to leaving for the NATO summit, convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday said he’s “not happy with Iran, but I’m really not happy with Israel,” for continuing to fire missiles at each other hours after the ceasefire Trump had congratulated himself on having reached on Monday night, per Axios’s Barak Ravid. “They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing” he added.

Trump predicted the ceasefire “will hold” but “I don’t like what Israel did… As soon as I get away from you, I’m going to try to stop it,” per CNN’s Alayna Treene. The ceasefire’s already been broken.

“ISRAEL. DO NOT DROP THOSE BOMBS. IF YOU DO IT IS A MAJOR VIOLATION. BRING YOUR PILOTS HOME, NOW! DONALD J TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,” the fat bastard then posted.

“I think the ceasefire is unlimited. It’s going to go forever,” Trump told NBC News in a phone interview printed at 9:33 PM EDT on Monday. Asked whether the war was completely over, the degenerate slob said “Yes. I don’t believe they will ever be shooting at each other again.”

“THE CEASEFIRE IS NOW IN EFFECT. PLEASE DO NOT VIOLATE IT!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 1:08 AM EDT on Tuesday, right about the time the Iranians had fired missiles at Israel, killing at least four people and injuring eight more around sunrise local time, the AP reports.

In related news the Iranians fired another volley of missiles at Israel early Tuesday local time.

“On June 11, NASA’s LRO (Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter) captured photos of the site where the ispace Mission 2 SMBC x HAKUTO-R Venture Moon (RESILIENCE) lunar lander experienced a hard landing on June 5, 2025, UTC. RESILIENCE was launched on Jan 15 on a privately funded spacecraft. LRO’s right Narrow Angle Camera (one in a suite of cameras known as LROC) captured the images featured here from about 50 miles above the surface of Mare Frigoris, a volcanic region interspersed with large-scale faults known as wrinkle ridges. The dark smudge visible above the arrow in the photo formed as the vehicle impacted the surface, kicking up regolith – the rock and dust that make up Moon ‘soil.’ The faint bright halo encircling the site resulted from low-angle regolith particles scouring the delicate surface,” said NASA in an update on Friday.

Nice of them to sugarcoat it with the “hard landing.” The fucking thing crashed, lol.

“CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE! It has been fully agreed by and between Israel and Iran that there will be a Complete and Total CEASEFIRE (in approximately 6 hours from now, when Israel and Iran have wound down and completed their in progress, final missions!), for 12 hours, at which point the War will be considered, ENDED! Officially, Iran will start the CEASEFIRE and, upon the 12th Hour, Israel will start the CEASEFIRE and, upon the 24th Hour, an Official END to THE 12 DAY WAR will be saluted by the World,” posted the “Peace President” on Monday after his fun little adventure.

“During each CEASEFIRE, the other side will remain PEACEFUL and RESPECTFUL. On the assumption that everything works as it should, which it will, I would like to congratulate both Countries, Israel and Iran, on having the Stamina, Courage, and Intelligence to end, what should be called, ‘THE 12 DAY WAR.” This is a War that could have gone on for years, and destroyed the entire Middle East, but it didn’t, and never will! God bless Israel, God bless Iran, God bless the Middle East, God bless the United States of America, and GOD BLESS THE WORLD!” the fat bastard continued.

The Supreme Court on Monday voted 6-3 to lift a lower court order requiring the Trump Regime to give 10 days’ notice before they’re deported to El Salvador or South Sudan or whatever hellhole the fat fuck and his minions think of next, Bloomberg reports on another L for the rule of law.

Acknowledging that it was all just kayfabe, convicted felon President Trump extended his warmest thanks to Iran on Monday after their choreographed counterattack, posting “Iran has officially responded to our Obliteration of their Nuclear Facilities with a very weak response, which we expected, and have very effectively countered. There have been 14 missiles fired – 13 were knocked down, and 1 was ‘set free,’ because it was headed in a nonthreatening direction. I am pleased to report NO Americans were harmed, and hardly any damage was done. Most importantly, they’ve gotten it all out of their ‘system,’ and there will, hopefully, be no further HATE.”

“I want to thank Iran for giving us early notice, which made it possible for no lives to be lost, and nobody to be injured. Perhaps Iran can now proceed to Peace and Harmony in the Region, and I will enthusiastically encourage Israel to do the same. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”

Why the fuck is he thanking them for firing a token volley of missiles with the express intent of not killing or harming any Americans or Qataris? How is that a good thing rather than maybe just a less bad thing? And what makes him so sure this is the only thing they’re going to do to retaliate?

“CONGRATULATIONS WORLD, IT’S TIME FOR PEACE!” the fat bastard posted after thanking the Emir of Qatar for his help defending the base, another solid from the monarch after the free luxury 747.

A jury in DC on Monday awarded the widow of DC Police Officer Jeffrey Smith $500,000 in punitive and compensatory damages from defendant and January 6th rioter David Walls-Kaufman, the AP reports. Smith committed suicide months after the insurrection and the jury agreed with his wife and estate that Walls-Kaufman’s assault on Smith has been a contributing factor to his death.

Just pitching a potential title for the made-for-TV movie should they be able to rescue Brazilian tourist Juliana Marins from the volcano in Indonesia she fell into on Saturday. Crews haven’t gotten to her yet, though they were able to deliver food and water to her inside the crater of Mount Rinjani on Monday, the BBC reports. There isn’t any decent video of the story in English, unfortunately.

Hopefully she gets rescued and hopefully her rescuers stay anonymous. If you feel like a depressing but also kind of darkly comical read about what happened in Midland, Texas in the years after Jessica McClure was rescued from the well, check out this 1995 New York Times piece. It was printed a few months after the paramedic who saved her, Robert O’Donnell, spiraled into depression and shot himself after the fame died down. The rest of it’s pretty funny and very Simpsons-esque.

“I don’t think this is an appropriate time for a war powers resolution, and I don’t think it’s necessary. For 80 years, presidents of both parties have acted with the same Commander in Chief Authrity under Article 2. You had President Biden used three times in Middle East operations. President Obama went on an eight month campaign bombing Libya to take down the regime there.”

“I never heard a Democrat balk about any of that. And suddenly now they’re just up in arms. It’s all politics. This is not a time for politics,” said devout Christian aphorism machine Speaker Mike Johnson on Monday when asked if Congress was going to assert its authority.

Three Iranian officials tell the New York Times they gave advance warning of the attack via intermediaries, meaning it was all kayfabe to make it look like to regime loyalists that there was a proportionate response. “The officials said Iran symbolically needed to strike back at the US but at the same time carry it out in a way that allowed all sides an exit ramp,” the Times literally writes.

Which would mean Trump knew this “symbolic” counterattack was coming and still allowed it to happen, putting American troops and Qatari civilians in harm’s way for choreographed bullshit.

Happy Birthday, @StevenCheung!🎉 pic.twitter.com/JrZK4q4VOF

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) June 23, 2025

At least six Iranian-launched missiles hit the Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar on Monday night local time and more were fired at another American base in Iraq, Axios reports on the Trump Regime getting the escalation they probably wanted out of this. No word on casualties yet.

Baton Rouge, Lousiana Marine Corps veteran Adrian Clouatre, 26, tells the AP he has to keep lying to his 2 year-old son Noah that “Mama will be home soon” and switched 3 month-old daughter Lyn to baby formula after his wife Paola was tossed in the ICE gulag in Monroe last month.

Paola, 25, a Mexican national was detained when she showed up at an immigration services office to apply for a green card, finding that she had been subject to a deportation order years ago because of her estranged mother who had abandoned her as a teenager, but figured that now she was married to a US citizen everything would be fine. It wasn’t and ICE cuffed her in the lobby.

Before the convicted felon President Trump had returned to office she would’ve been issued a green card as a family member of a veteran, but that policy was quietly revoked. Marine Corps recruiters by the way are still advertising that service is a way to get family members exempted from deportation orders. Corps spokesman Master Sgt Tyler Hlavac told the AP that recruiters have now been informed they are “not the proper authority” to “imply that the Marine Corps can secure immigration relief for applicants or their families.” Sorry losers and suckers, but America First.

Paola Clouarte’s story is not to be confused with that of Ana Gabriella Diaz and her American husband Roberto Gutierrez. Diaz’s daughter is 16 months old and was still breastfeeding before her mother was arrested in Cailfornia and tossed probably in the same gulag at Monroe (KABC’s reporting just says “1,400 miles away” very roughly the distance to Monroe as the crow flies).