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“You are even in danger talking to me right now”

Convicted felon President Trump on Friday did what he usually does when surrounded by media and said a lot of stupid, deranged shit. He again said Tulsi Gabbard is wrong for saying Iran isn’t close to building a functional nuclear weapon, appeared to go back once again about whether farm workers should be detained by ICE, complained he hasn’t gotten a Nobel Peace Prize for some shit he made up about the Congo and Rwanda, and warned reporters they’re in danger just by talking to him.

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Regime fucks over rural Louisianans waiting for fiber broadband

Convicted felon President Trump’s reich has utterly fucked over rural Louisianans – obviously a very MAGA-friendly demographic – by pulling the plug on the Biden Administration’s $1.3 billion in funding to build out the networks just weeks before providers were ready to start work, WRKF reports.

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Coverage map still offline at Trumpmobile.com

The “Gulf of Mexico”-labelled coverage map at TrumpMobile.com, taken down three days ago, still hasn’t been restored with the “Gulf of America” on it as of Friday afternoon as the page still says simply “404 Not Found – Oops! The page you’re looking for doesn’t exist.” Seems like the kind of thing that should be easy to fix if you have web developers that know what they’re doing.

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Scott Jennings diagnosed with stage 4 butthurt

Give him a few points for creativity though – combining his butthurt over Mahmoud Khalil’s release with butthurt over that “the Iranian people will rise up against the Ayatollah” horseshit (under the not exactly safe assumption that this nationalist Tehran march was a real thing and not astroturfed).

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National Zero cockfighting news roundup

🐓 In Alabama, at least 55 suspected illegal immigrants connected to a cockfighting ring were detained by ICE last weekend, Breitbart reports. Five US citizens also swept up in the raids face a shit ton of other charges. “This illegal cockfighting operation wasn’t just about animal cruelty – it was tied to a broader network of serious crimes, including illegal gambling, drug trafficking, and violent offenses. These criminal enterprises endanger our communities, and HSI remains steadfast in its mission to disrupt and dismantle them,” said some Homeland Security dickhead in a statement.

🐓 In the Philippines, cops are searching the volcanic Lake Taal south of Manila for the remains of at least 34 men whose bodies may have been dumped in water after being accused of fixing cockfights by the syndicates promoted them, the BBC reports. One man recently charged for kidnapping told a TV reporter the men were strangled and disposed of in the lake in 2021.

🐓 A New York Times analysis of the fight between the small cocks in Israel and Iran observes that by depending on an even smaller cock to join that fight “in two weeks” is leaving Israel in a strategic bind and they probably cannot take out the underground complex believed to contain all of Tehran’s main uranium enrichment capability without the help of the United States. Stupid cocksuckers.

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MAGA DOJ very picky on what’s covered by Trump’s Jan 6 pardons

“In its filing dated February 6, 2025, the government indicated that the language of the pardon did not cover the firearm convictions. The basis of these convictions were firearms recovered pursuant to a search warrant executed at the defendant’s residence in Kentucky, based on his conduct on January 6, 2021, at the US Capitol. In the intervening period since the government filed its response, the government has received further clarity on the intent of the Presidential Pardon. Under these circumstances, the Presidential Pardon includes a pardon for the firearm convictions to which the defendant pled, similar to other defendants in which the government has made comparable motions,” wrote scumbag former Acting DC US Attorney Ed Martin on February 25th, moving to overturn a firearms guilty plea from Capitol rioter Daniel Wilson. FBI agents found his guns when they raided his home to arrest him for the riot. The plea still stands pending appeal though.

“Simply put, Defendant’s child sexual exploitation offense cannot be deemed an ‘offense related to events that occurred at or near the United States Capitol on January 6, 2021.’ Thus, the Presidential Pardon on its face does not cover Defendant’s conduct in the instant case. The government respectfully requests the Court deny Defendant’s Motion to Dismiss the Indictment,” wrote Acting Eastern District of California US Attorney Michelle Beckwith on June 16, 2025, opposing the dismissal of a child pornography case against Capitol rioter Kyle Colton. FBI agents found his child porn collection when they raided his home to arrest him for the riot. Pretty much the same in every single aspect except for the nature of the contraband the two of them had in their possession.

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Lava coming out of hole again

The hole that sometimes emits lava is doing it again. This time the hole’s shooting the lava really high. Some people are saying the lava’s flying up to 1,000 feet in the air, which is really high from this hole. You can see in the live feed that the lava’s going all over the place and flowing in like a river next to it. It’s really dangerous but nobody’s getting too close to the hole. Stay away from the hole.

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Pro-Gaza maniac arrested after road raging MAGA Congressman

Cops in Rocky River, Ohio on Friday announced they have 36 year-old Feras Hamdan in custody a day after woman-abusing MAGA Congressman Max Miller said he was forced off the road by a guy in a black Tesla who screamed antisemitic slurs at him while showing a Palestinian flag on a phone.

“Some unhinged, deranged man decided to lay on his horn and run me off the road when he couldn’t get my attention to show me a Palestinian flag,” said Miller in a video tweeted Thursday after the incident on I-90. Fox 8 reports Hamdan turned himself in and faces possible federal charges.

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NTSB determines turtle was moving too slow

“On June 3, 2025, about 1145 eastern daylight time, a Universal Stinson 108 airplane, N40518 was destroyed when it was involved in an accident near Farmington, North Carolina. The pilot and one passenger were fatally injured, and one passenger was seriously injured. The airplane was operated under the provisions of Title 14 Code of Federal Regulations Part 91 as a personal flight. The airplane departed runway 2 at the Sugar Valley Airport (5NC2), Mocksville, North Carolina, and flew around the traffic pattern. Upon turning base leg for runway 2, the UNICOM operator, who was looking out the airport office window facing southeast, advised the pilot that there was a turtle on the runway.”

“According to the UNICOM operator, the pilot landed about 1,400 ft down the 2,424 ft runway and then lifted the right main wheel to avoid the turtle. The UNICOM operator stated that she heard the pilot advance the throttle after he raised the right wheel. The airplane left her point of view, and she was unable to see the airplane after that. A man cutting the grass at the end of runway 2 reported that he saw the turtle on the runway and the pilot raised the right wheel to avoid the turtle.”

“After that, the wings began to rock back and forth. Then the airplane took off again, but he lost site of the airplane when it passed behind a hangar. The airplane disappeared just over the trees on the northeast side of the runway and then he heard a loud crash and saw smoke,” says the National Transportation Safety Board’s final report on the June 3rd fatal double crash in Mocksville, North Carolina, issued Wednesday. The size of the turtle was not disclosed in the report.

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Jaydee headed to Los Angeles

Neckbearded weirdo Vice President JD Vance will pay a visit to Los Angeles on Friday to “tour a multi-agency Federal Joint Operations Center, a Federal Mobile Command Center, meet with leadership and Marines, and deliver brief remarks,” per a release from his office, Politico reports.

Note how the statement said nothing about Vance being anywhere outside of multiple layers of armed security or otherwise potentially in contact with civilians in the city. He won’t be out on the street where he could be confronted or bothered by locals opposed to the Trump regime’s militarized occupation of the town in response to civil unrest over ICE raids against innocent people.

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Moron who can’t spell “versus” right demands special prosecutor

“Zero Border crossings for the month for TRUMP, verses 60,000 for Sleepy, Crooked Joe Biden, a man who lost the 2020 Presidential Election by a ‘LANDSLIDE!’ Biden was grossly incompetent, and the 2020 election was a total FRAUD! The evidence is MASSIVE and OVERWHELMING. A Special Prosecutor must be appointed. This cannot be allowed to happen again in the United States of America! Let the work begin! What this Crooked man, and his CORRUPT CRONIES, have done to our Country in 4 years, is grossly indescribable!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday.

Note the passive “must be appointed” as if he doesn’t have the agency to do it himself. He could sign an order this afternoon directing his weirdo Attorney General Pam Bondi to make it happen.

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Shelter dog detects seizure without training, ends up elsewhere

In a June 7th Facebook post the Friends of Campbell County Animal Control pet charity in Virginia wrote about an extraordinary incident: “Today at our adoption event, something extraordinary happened. Sienna, one of our sweetest shelter dogs, was calmly making her rounds – tail wagging, soaking up love from everyone she met. Then, all at once, she gently broke away from the crowd and walked straight up to a man she had never met. She sat quietly at his feet, refused to budge, and softly placed her paw on his leg. It wasn’t a trick. It wasn’t prompted. It was pure intuition”

“Moments later, the man’s wife approached and gasped: ‘My husband is either having a seizure or is about to have one!’ Sienna knew. Before any human saw the signs, she knew. This is the kind of magic that shelter dogs carry inside them – unspoken wisdom, deep empathy, and an unfailing ability to connect with us in our most vulnerable moments. Sienna wasn’t trained to do this. She simply felt it. We’ve always known Sienna is special. But today, she reminded us that sometimes the ones we rescue are the ones who end up rescuing,” the beaming, joyous post continued.

Then in a reply a woman wrote “Aww. Love the response on this post! My husband is the one Sienna alerted to. He had been having myoclonic seizures all morning (eye flutter kinds) and after we left the event, hubby went home to rest and he felt a lot better. We have always wanted to get a dog that alerts when he is experiencing seizure activity cuz hes too stubborn to listen to the humans in his life lol. We would have absolutely adopted her if we did not already have 3 dogs. We simply don’t have the room or resources to take on another pup. We pray someone finds her a forever home!”

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Fewer GOP voters want presidential health records made public

A new Axios-Ipsos national survey finds 74 percent of respondents overall and 72 percent of independent voters agreeing with the statement that “There should be a legal requirement for the president to share health records,” but when split by partisanship there’s a noticeable if not massive gap: 82 percent of Dem respondents agreed while just 70 percent of Republicans did.

Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be any polling data on a similar question from 2023 or 2024, where it’s a safe bet that it would have flipped. Still, the gap between Dem and GOP respondents is funny and predictable, that at least some MAGA voters are pretty obviously sensitive to maintaining the illusion that their president is not in a grave state of physical and mental health.

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Memphis mayor targeted in lone wolf kidnapping plot

From a Memphis PD statement: “Trenton Abston, 25, has been apprehended and charged with Attempted Kidnapping, Stalking, and Aggravated Criminal Trespass. At the time of his arrest, officers recovered a taser, gloves, rope, and duct tape from his vehicle… Upon further review of both public and private security camera footage, we have determined that the suspect did not approach multiple homes, as initially reported. Instead, after scaling a wall, the individual went directly to the Mayor’s residence. Thanks to the rapid response of our officers and the use of camera technology throughout the neighborhood, we were able to quickly identify, locate, and arrest the suspect.”

Abston had wanted to confront Memphis Mayor Paul Young about crime in the city, per WBHQ.

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Dodgers say they kicked ICE agents out of stadium

This comes just a day after the Bulwark’s immigration beat reporter Adrian Carrasquillo put out a piece titled “The Dodgers Owe More to Their Latino Fan Base,” and just a week after the freakout over the National Anthem being sung en Español before a home game.

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MAGA think tank claims US immigrant population down 1 million

“Our analysis of the Bureau of Labor Statistics household survey, officially called the Current Population Survey (CPS), shows a large decline in the foreign-born or immigrant population (legal and illegal) between January and May of this year. The decline was caused by a falloff in the number of non-citizens from Latin America who arrived in 1980 or later, a population that overlaps significantly with illegal immigrants. We preliminarily estimate that the number of illegal immigrants has fallen by one million since the start of the year, perhaps due to their leaving in response to President Trump’s election and stepped-up enforcement efforts. But it is important to note that these findings come with important caveats,” says the Center for Immigration Studies.

True or not, look for this to become spank material on every right wing site.

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You want french fry “style” crust on your Tombstone? No? Too bad

“There’s nothing worse than late-night hunger with nothing in the freezer. After a night out, the desire for pizza and fries is real — and now TOMBSTONE® has you covered. The brand is taking two fan-favorite bar foods to the next level with its boldest creation yet: TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza. This potato-powered crust brings crispy, cheesy, golden goodness to every bite – built to fuel your hunger pangs and late-night adventures,” says a press release from Tombstone frozen pizza heavily implying you need to be drunk and/or high to enjoy their newest product.

Continued: “With a pizza-fry’d crust baked to crispy perfection, this gluten-free pizza gives fans a bold new way to enjoy classic bar foods, and is available in two delicious varieties that are full on flavor: TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza – Loaded Bacon Cheddar: The delicious crust is made with potato, covered in a gooey cheddar cheese sauce and loaded with mozzarella and cheddar cheeses plus a bacon and pork belly blend for the perfect bite every time. TOMBSTONE® French Fry Style Crust Pizza – Chili Cheese: The mouthwatering potato-based crust is covered in a hamburger chili cheese sauce and topped with mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, red onion and parsley for the ultimate comfort food experience.” Holy fuck. May God have mercy on us all.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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