Speaking to reporters after Ketamine Brain – who it need be reminded is not now and never was an elected official in the United States, holds no official position within the Republican Party, and just showed up at the White House to “work” for a few months at an unpaid fake job before leaving last week – pulled his support for the Mega MAGA bill, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Tuesday said “with all due respect, my friend Elon is terribly wrong about” the legislation, Politico reports.

Johnson claimed he’d had a 20 minute phone call after Musk’s tweet, explaining to him why the bill was awesome. “And he seemed to understand that,” Johnson added. “But for him to come out and pan the whole bill, to me, is just very disappointing – very surprising in light of the conversation I had with him yesterday… It’s not personal. I just deeply regret that he’s made this mistake,” lol.

The US Navy under the direction of Defense Secretary Petey Pee Pants, is considering denaming the vessels christened as the USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg, USNS Harriet Tubman, USNS Harvey Milk, USNS Thurgood Marshall, USNS Dolores Huerta, USNS Lucy Stone, USNS Cesar Chavez, and USNS Medgar Evers, CBS News reports on the de-woke-ification of the US military.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore.

This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination.

Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 3, 2025

It gets better. “It will massively increase the already gigantic budget deficit to $2.5 trillion (!!!) and burden America citizens with crushingly unsustainable debt,” Leon also tweeted. No shit, lol.

A Culpeper County, Virginia man tells NPR that convicted felon President Trump’s pardon of corrupt asshole former Sheriff Scott Jenkins for selling deputy badges to any unqualified schmuck is an outrage. “It’s a failure of our justice system. He was guilty as could be. He needed to go to jail, and he didn’t. So what kind of a signal does that send?” said Ken Green, adding, “It’s a slap in the face, just like pardoning all of the January 6 people. I mean, some of them needed to go to jail.”

You already know the next question NPR asked, and Green’s answer. “It’s kind of a two-edged sword. I mean, you either support him, or you support the other side. And I can’t support the other side right now. So, I mean, it’s the lesser of two – it’s the evil you know,” said All-American cunt.

You also already guessed that the audio was recorded in a diner. There may or may not have been a two-second sound clip of a sizzling griddle and forks clanking in between the voice recordings.

Joining late so missed the bit where Karoline claimed that the days of putting criminals over their victims is over, which is kind of a lie because pardonees like Todd Chrisley, Paul Walzcak, and that “Nikola” douchebag no longer owe their victims any restitution for their crimes. And the one where she accused the Washington Post of manipulating the minds of Americans with some headline.

“Yunqing Jian, 33, and Zunyong Liu, 34, citizens of the People’s Republic of China, were charged in a criminal complaint with conspiracy, smuggling goods into the United States, false statements, and visa fraud, announced United States Attorney Jerome F Gorgon, Jr. The FBI arrested Jian in connection with allegations related to Jian’s and Liu’s smuggling into America a fungus called Fusarium graminearum, which scientific literature classifies as a potential agroterrorism weapon.”

“This noxious fungus causes ‘head blight,’ a disease of wheat, barley, maize, and rice, and is responsible for billions in economic losses worldwide each year. Fusarium graminearum’s toxins cause vomiting, liver damage, and reproductive defects in humans and livestock. According to the complaint, Jian received Chinese government funding for her work on this pathogen in China.”

“The complaint also alleges that Jian’s electronics contain information describing her membership in and loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party. It is further alleged that Jian’s boyfriend, Liu, works at a Chinese university where he conducts research on the same pathogen and that he first lied but then admitted to smuggling Fusarium graminearum into America – through the Detroit Metropolitan Airport – so that he could conduct research on it at the laboratory at the University of Michigan where his girlfriend, Jian, worked,” says a Tuesday Justice Department press release.

Six months to the day after pilled right wing nutcase now-former South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol set in motion his political demise by declaring fucking martial law, his defeated 2022 opponent, Democrat Lee Jae-Myung’s got his revenge, beating conservative Kim Moon-Soo, who officially conceded in the country’s heated special election early Wednesday local time, AFP reports.

“I will humbly accept the choice of the people. Congratulations to the elected candidate Lee Jae-Myung,” said Kim, probably no relation to the Korean peninsula’s other national leader.

DNC trolls Trump on tariffs with free 'TACO' truck parked outside RNC headquarters https://t.co/1Emoh1K1HI

— Fox News (@FoxNews) June 3, 2025

And if you live anywhere near the Republican National Committee’s DC headquarters you have 61 minutes to get down there and collect your free taco from the truck the Dems rented, per Axios.

Last month’s Axios story about Trump Reichsminister of Racial Purity Stephen Miller screaming at an all hands meeting of ICE officials was good, but it lacked any really specific detail from inside the room. Luckily right wing outlet the Washington Examiner have now stepped up to fill those gaps.

Very thoroughly, to the point where one might wonder if the Examiner’s agenda fully lines up with that of the Trump Regime. “They’ve been threatened, told they’re watching their emails and texts and Signals. That’s what is horrible about things right now. It’s a fearful environment. Everybody in leadership is afraid… There’s no morale. Everybody is demoralized,” said one source. Again this at ICE, not the freaking CDC or you name whatever other “woke” agency currently getting gutted, where the frontline America First stormtroopers fear they’re being spied on by the White House.

The first sign of trouble came when top 50 field officials summoned to the “emergency” meeting with just about a week’s notice of the May 20th meeting: 25 Enforcement Removal Operations, or ERO, field office directors and 25 Homeland Security Investigations, or HSI. Not at all a coincidence that the ERO chief was forced to retire and the HSI leader was demoted on or before the 28th.

It’s not clear if the firing/demotions were announced in front of everyone in the room as well as whether Miller was stressed out over his wife Katie suddenly talking about how she heard ketamine is a really relaxing high and left her laptop browser open to a page listing Afrikaans sex slang. Either way he was definitely stressed. “Miller came in there and eviscerated everyone. ‘You guys aren’t doing a good job. You’re horrible leaders.’ He just ripped into everybody. He had nothing positive to say about anybody, shot morale down,” said an official relaying secondhand recall of the scene.

The Netherlands’ right wing governing coalition collapsed Tuesday as Reich party leader Geert Wilders said “fuck this” to the marginally more moderate parties and withdrew, the BBC reports.

Wilders’ issue? Surprise! Immigration. The pasty white scumbag had demanded a long list of asylum measures, including a freeze on asylum applications, halting the construction of reception centers, and limiting family reunification. Getting none of that he fucked everyone else over. Prime Minister Dick Schoof tendered his resignation and snap elections will be held within the next few months.

Newark, New Jersey Mayor Ras Baraka on Tuesday filed a federal civil complaint against dumbass Acting US Attorney Alina Habba “seeking damages and to remedy Defendants’ subjecting him to false arrest and malicious prosecution in violation of his Constitutional rights under the Fourth Amendment. Plaintiff also brings an action for defamation against Defendant Habba,” over his arrest at a confrontation last month at an ICE gulag and charges that Habba ended up dropping.

Freshman Dem Congresswoman LaMonica McIver still faces bullshit assault and other charges over the same incident. It’s not clear yet how likely she’ll be able to get them dropped before trial.

Kansas MAGA Senator Roger Marshall was upbeat and optimistic Tuesday morning, telling Fox News’s Maria Bartiromo that people just feeling better about the economy back home in his state would add 1 percent to the GDP alone so it’ll be easy to get to 4 percent annual growth. Those glum bastards at the OECD saying their 2025-2026 outlook “projects global growth slowing from 3.3 percent in 2024 to 2.9 percent in both 2025 and 2026. The slowdown is expected to be most concentrated in the United States, Canada, Mexico and China, with smaller downward adjustments in other economies,” can’t just chin up and turn their forecast models’ frowns upside down.

Marshall also told Bartiromo that cutting Medicaid is going to make Medicaid stronger, which might be missing some context since they’re not *actually* cutting Medicaid, or maybe it isn’t.

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA, said in a statement,” says the lede to a Tuesday article at The Hill.

“The acting head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) was joking when he said he was not aware the US had an official hurricane season, according to a statement from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which houses FEMA,” says the second paragraph of the article. Not making that up, lol. Here’s a screenshot of a very likely prime example of AI slop.

“Their response comes after Reuters reported that Richardson, who has been in the position since early May, baffled employees with the sentiment at a recent briefing. The outlet said it was unclear to staff members whether the remark was meant to be taken ‘literally, as a joke, or in some other context,'” says the next paragraph, the AI engine or maybe Bangladeshi content farm laborer forgetting to include Acting FEMA Director David Richardson’s first name in the article-ish piece meant to be DHS’s response to staffers questioning his competence after the replacement for his too pro-FEMA predecessor made it clear to them he didn’t know hurricane season was a thing.

Egged on by MAGA influencers on the internet and MAGA influencers in Congress who are on the internet all the time, convicted felon President Trump has been raging in private for months at decisions by his three Supreme Court nominees, but mostly at the last one, Amy Coney Barrett, and especially over her siding against him over his freezing of $2 billion in foreign aid and recusing herself from the Oklahoma religious charter school case that ended in a 4-4 deadlock loss for the GOP, CNN reports from sources quoting the fat fuck as repeatedly calling her “weak.”

Some of Trump’s minions expressed to CNN concerns that the constant death threats, the false report of a bomb at Barrett’s sister’s house, and shit like some MAGA podcaster calling her a “rattled law professor with her head up her ass” and another saying she’s a “DEI hire” might have factored into the adverse rulings, lol. It got to the point where Trump started asking people if he should order more security for the justice, CNN writes. They do not write that he actually ordered more security.

He’s also holding back on criticizing Barrett publicly, per his allies. Those allies did not say if he plans to demand his supporters tone it down and stop threatening to murder her and her family every time she doesn’t just rule the same as Clarence and Sam. Probably because he’d never actually say that.

The Security Service of Ukraine has carried out a new, unique special operation and struck the Crimean Bridge for the third time — this time underwater!
The operation lasted several months. @ServiceSsu agents planted explosives on the supports of this illegal structure. And… pic.twitter.com/lgu6ANR3K1

— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) June 3, 2025

“And today, at 4:44 am, without any civilian casualties, the first explosive device was detonated! The underwater pillars of the bridge supports were severely damaged at the seabed level – thanks to 1,100 kg of explosives in TNT equivalent. As a result, the bridge is now in critical condition,” the tweet continues after the cutoff. CNN’s reporting on the attack says that the only acknowledgement from the Russian side was them announcing that traffic on the bridge was been suspended, but by 9 AM local time they claimed it had resumed. No further context on that was added, unfortunately.

One of the last two still on the loose out of the 11 inmates who climbed out of a New Orleans jail last month says he’s being wrongly accused of escaping from the lockup, putting forward the novel defense in the court of public opinion on Monday in a now-deleted Instagram video, Fox 8 reports.

Though not as fascinating as claiming that he was framed for the crime of absconding from pretrial custody given the fundamental laws of physics being what they are and he’s either in the jailhouse or not, Antoine Massey’s assertion that he was “let out” of the joint rather than having deliberately tunneled his way out of the cell block along with 10 other men is still kind of interesting. “I’m one of the ones that was let out of Orleans Parish jail where they said I escaped, right?” said Massey in the video, going on to state that he did not actually threaten to “shank” the jail custodial staffer now accused of colluding with the escapees by shutting off the water to the toilet/sink combo the men ripped out of a cell wall to make good on their flight from justice on the night of May 16th.

Massey, whose facial tattoos depict knives or bones or something, also denied the charges that had led to his incarceration in the first place, holding up some sort of paperwork supposedly proving that his girlfriend had been beaten up by other women from the neighborhood, not him.

“In the posted video clips, Massey also called out to public figures for help, including President Donald Trump and rappers Lil Wayne and Meek Mill. He accuses the State of Louisiana of corruption, arguing he was being unfairly prosecuted and mistreated behind bars,” Fox 8 writes, lol.

Faced with a little pickle on how to defend himself against credible accusations of rampant corruption as well as interfering with corruption investigations, Guatemalan prosecutor Rafael Curruchiche thought about it a bit and came up with a real outside-the-box strategy: The UN anti-corruption mission led by Colombia’s attorney general and a former defense minister was the real corruption, therefore he could get a court to issue an arrest warrant for the two. Boss move.

Curruchiche did just that, accusing Bogota’s AG Luz Adriana Camargo Garzon and former Defense Minister Ivan Velasquez with being part of “a criminal structure led by” the former head of the UN’s anti-corruption mission, CICIG, which operated in Guatemala from 2007 to 2019, when then-President Jimmy Morales decided to not renew its mandate after his family got implicated in the kind of stuff James Comer would promise to Fox News viewers and then not deliver, the AP reports.

Specifically Curruchiche alleges that Camargo and Velasquez did the actual corruption when they cut a deal with Brazilian construction giant Odebrecht to get them to spill on a series of bribes paid to Guatemalan officials. And yeah this article’s all over the place but that’s the fucking MAGA-est thing ever, lol. “No, you guys are the corrupt ones because you turned the screws on legitimate businessmen who were just trying to cut red tape. You’re corrupt and you’re going to Guatemalan jail as soon as you surrender yourselves to arrest here in Tegucigalpa. Oh, well well well, so you’re not going to come and defend yourselves in court? Guess that means you’re guilty. Pussies.”

Thank you, Mr. President. Strong alliance with the USA, as well as partnership based on close cooperation are my top priorities. @POTUS pic.twitter.com/x8cjTQTsBi

— Karol Nawrocki (@NawrockiKn) June 3, 2025

Milwaukee prosecutors on Monday announced four felony charges against 52 year-old Demetric Scott in the case of the Trump assassination threat letter that fucking dog murdering moron Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem did exactly what Scott wanted her to do: Publicly announce the arrest of 54 year-old undocumented immigrant Ramon Morales-Reyes for writing the threat to kill convicted felon President Trump even though it should’ve been obvious from the get-go that Morales-Reyes didn’t write or send the letter considering he can barely speak English.

Per WISN, Scott on Monday confessed to investigators that he sent the letter to get Morales-Reyes deported and to prevent him from testifying against Scott over a September 2023 robbery incident. Court records show that Scott is set to go on trial next month for having kicked Morales-Reyes off his bicycle and slashed him with a sharp object before riding off with the bike. Last week investigators searched Scott’s jail cell and found a pen and paper matching the letter that was sent to the ICE facility that received the letter. It wasn’t the only one he sent either, as Milwaukee Police Chief Jeffrey Norman and Wisconsin Attorney General Josh Kaul also received similar letters.

Scott told cops he had passed them along to his mother and another acquaintance during jailhouse visits, asking them to mail the envelopes without saying what the purpose was. Scott is charged with one count each of “Misappropriate ID Info – Harm Reputation” and “Intimidate Witness/Person Charged/Felony,” and two counts of “Bail Jumping-Felony” on top of the robbery and assault.