Staff at an aquarium in southern Japan noticed recently that their sunfish, a large mola probably weighing hundreds of pounds, had stopped eating and began banging its head against the side of the tank after the place closed for extensive renovations last month, the AP reports.

At first they figured it was digestive problems or maybe loud construction noise and thought that changing the fish’s diet and visiting it while work was underway would help, but it was to no avail. Spitballing at a staff meeting, one person suggested maybe it was just not seeing visitors anymore, so they decided to put some cardboard cutouts outside the tank to see if that would somehow help.

“We were skeptical but decided to do anything we could,” said aquarist Moe Miyazawa. The staff hung their uniforms and placed human-shaped cutouts with photos of smiling faces outside the tank to cheer on the fish. “I knew (the sunfish) was looking at us when we were placing them, but I never thought it would start eating the next day,” Miyazawa said of the “holy shit” moment.

The article then ends, getting into zero actual science, no fucking controls or A/B testing or anything to at least scratch at the implications of a fish potentially possessing the intelligence to discern the shape of a human being and that having an obseravbly positive effect on its mental health. Who the fuck even knew fish had “mental health” to lose? It’s not like this is a “humans good, they give me food” association thing as the fish was still being fed and visited during its solitude. At the very least the aquarium should run some experiments and see what happens if they take down the humans and put teddy bears there instead. They’ve got a few more months without visitors.

In an article titled “Snow really happened in Florida. Is it safe to eat snow?” the Tallahassee Democrat warns the Sunshine State’s newly-frosted denizens to avoid eating the precipitation.

“While it may appear clean and pristine, the light snowfall across the state likely isn’t enough to make it safe for consumption. As snow falls, it can collect bacteria, microplastics, and pollutants from the atmosphere, such as carbon from coal-fired plants and wood-burning stoves,” they write.

However some exceptions are provided in the article. “When it comes to eating snow, not all of it is created equal. While fresh snow may look appealing, there are several factors to consider to ensure it’s safe and clean. Laura Martin, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Ohio State University College of Medicine, previously shared some expert tips with Food & Wine on how to safely enjoy snow, emphasizing the importance of avoiding contaminants and harvesting it properly. Here’s what to keep in mind: Stick to pure white snow: Avoid gray, brown, muddy — and most importantly — yellow snow.” Holy fuck they actually have to tell people not to eat yellow snow.

German national suspect identified in deadly shooting of US Border Patrol agent in Vermont https://t.co/qbxgWeYG2d

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 22, 2025

This horrific murder of US Border Patrol Agent David “Chris” Maland in Vermont at approximately 3:15 PM on Monday never would have happened if Kamala Harris had been elected 47th President of the United States. The Trump-Vance Administration have blood on their hands. This brave, dedicated protector of our nation’s border would still be alive today if the German scumbag hadn’t felt emboldened by Trump’s sheer weakness that he tries to compensate for by constant “tough” talk. None of it will bring Maland back. Trump probably won’t even go to his funeral.

Department of Justice Acting Deputy Attorney General Emil Bove – who got a government job despite failing to prevent a jury from convicting his client Donald Trump on 34 felony counts – on Wednesday ordered all US Attorneys’ offices to open investigations into state and local officials who obstruct federal authorities from conducting removals of undocumented migrants the AP reports.

Bove wrote that federal prosecutors must “take all steps necessary to protect the public and secure the American border by removing illegal aliens from the country and prosecuting illegal aliens for crimes,” which seems to sound like he wants the FBI and US Attorneys to step in if a Guatemalan illegal immigrant sticks up a 7-Eleven. Also seems a little shy of ordering the US Marine Corps to do house-to-house sweeps of Latino neighborhoods to round up millions of undocumented.

Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson on Tuesday tweeted and then quickly deleted a promo image indicating she’s running for governor of the Great Lakes State in 2026, according to some right wing douchebag on Twitter who was crying about that one Chinese University of Michigan student who voted illegally and then turned himself in after realizing he shouldn’t have done it.

I’m in the hospital with a bowel blockage. I’ll give you more details tomorrow.

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) January 22, 2025

“NGN offers a full and unequivocal apology to the Duke of Sussex for the serious intrusion by The Sun between 1996 and 2011 into his private life, including incidents of unlawful activities carried out by private investigators working for The Sun. NGN also offers a full and unequivocal apology to the Duke of Sussex for the phone hacking. surveillance and misuse of private information by journalists and private investigators instructed by them at the News of the World. NGN further apologises to the Duke for the impact on him of the extensive coverage and serious intrusion into his private life as well as the private life of Diana, Princess of Wales, his late mother, in particular during his younger years. We acknowledge and apologise for the distress caused to the Duke, and the damage inflicted on relationships, friendships and family, and have agreed to pay him substantial damages. It is also acknowledged, without any admission of illegality, that NGN’s response to the 2006 arrests and subsequent actions were regrettable,” says a statement from News Group Newspapers, the Murdoch propaganda empire’s UK branch, a court-ordered apology addressed to Prince Harry.

Harry’s lawyer David Sherborne, said Team Murdoch had agreed to pay the prince substantial damages, with a source telling USA Today it involved an eight-figure sum to the already-wealthy royal. A trial was to begin Wednesday, but just like the Dominion case the propaganda-mongers settled at the last second and paid the wages of at least some of their many sins.

“The so-called Bishop who spoke at the National Prayer Service on Tuesday morning was a Radical Left hard line Trump hater. She brought her church into the World of politics in a very ungracious way. She was nasty in tone, and not compelling or smart. She failed to mention the large number of illegal migrants that came into our Country and killed people. Many were deposited from jails and mental institutions. It is a giant crime wave that is taking place in the USA. Apart from her inappropriate statements, the service was a very boring and uninspiring one. She is not very good at her job! She and her church owe the public an apology! t” posted convicted felon President Trump early Wednesday, still furious over Bishop Marian Edgar Budde’s sermon on Tuesday.

House Speaker Mike Johnson might have slightly diverged from lame-brain Sean Hannity’s line of thinking on Tuesday, but he also did not say no either to the Fox News propagandist’s talk of withholding federal disaster relief for fire recovery as a means of punishing California for refusing to go along with convicted felon President Trump’s maximal anti-illegal immigration plans.

Q-pilled shitty children’s book author Kash Patel was literally a DEI hire in 2003 when, as a Pace University Law School student, he took an internship with the American Bar Association’s Judicial Intern Opportunity Program, aimed at “underrepresented” groups, the New York Times reports, citing Patel’s questionnaire filled out ahead of his hearing with the Senate Judiciary Committee.

The internship program “provides opportunities to students who are members of groups that are traditionally underrepresented in the profession, including students from minority racial and ethnic groups, students with disabilities, veterans, students who are economically disadvantaged, students who identify as LGBTQ+, women and others,” and is “also an opportunity to make an impact on the diversity and inclusion pipeline and give back to the legal community.” But muh “meritocracy!”

Chinese corrections personnel on Monday removed a notorious inmate from death row just over two months after he killed 35 people in a vehicular attack on an outdoor fitness class, the BBC reports.

Fan Weiqiu, 62, had injured dozens more when he drove his car into the people exercising outside a stadium in the southern city of Zhuhai. The execution came on the same day that other asshole Xu Jiajin was canceled for murdering eight people with a knife at his college in the eastern city of Wuxi.

In Fan’s case, the scumbag had been upset over a divorce settlement with his wife while Xu freaked out over being denied a degree due to his shitty grades. Both were just two of 19 different mass violence sprees in China in 2024, with men driven to “take revenge on society” over their personal failures using knives and cars. In America we have candidates similarly situated people can vote for to get their “revenge.” And then when that doesn’t work they can buy an AR-15 and kill others too.

Convicted felon President Trump’s post “AI Infrastructure Week”-ceremony press conference is already shambolic as the fat fuck told reporters that it’s justified to pardon a rioter who hit a cop with a stun gun, claiming “murderers don’t even go to jail in this country,” and other such nonsense.

Convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday told Senate GOP leaders to consider allowing recess appointments for his shitbag nominees, knowing that Robert F Kennedy Jr, Tulsi Gabbard, Kash Patel, and – once again – Pete Hegseth face trouble in getting 50 votes, Politico reports.

On the Hegseth thing: Ex-sister-in-law Danielle Hegseth wrote in the affidavit that Pete’s second ex-wife Samantha had shared a code word with Danielle to alert her when Hegseth threatened her and texted it at least once in 2015 or 2016. She also wrote that in 2009, Hegseth was found drunk at a strip joint in downtown Minneapolis – wearing his military uniform while drunk and getting lap dances. He had to be dragged out of the club. And that he disparaged Latinos and said Christian people needed to have more babies than Muslims to avoid being overtaken, per USA Today.

In related news, Time on Tuesday reported that Iowa Senator Joni Ernst was threatened with a primary challenge if she failed to vote yes on Hegseth’s nomination. “How do I make it stop?” Ernst asked another Republican before she caved and publicly supported Petey Pee-Pants.

I am disappointed but not surprised that President Trump has decided to terminate the protection previously provided by the United States Secret Service.  Notwithstanding my criticisms of President Biden's national-security policies, he nonetheless made the decision to extend…

— John Bolton (@AmbJohnBolton) January 21, 2025

World-renowned Israeli actor and Yiddish vocalist Dudu (tee-hee-hee) Fisher will perform at the Chabad Jewish Center in Coral Springs, Florida at a service celebrating the congregation’s recent renovations and expansion, which includes a new sanctuary, commercial kitchen and youth lounge, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reports on Dudu-mania hitting the Miami Metro area.

“I personally am a big fan of his Yiddish albums. One of my favorites is his rendition of ‘A Yiddishe Mamah,’ an absolutely powerful song that he sings with such intensity that it touches my heart each time,” said Chabad’s Rabbi Yankie (hee-hee-hee) Denburg, who yanked (hee-hee) Dudu in.

Tickets to the service will range from $36 to $54 for general admission and $100 for VIP.

Former Fox News host Pete Hegseth’s ex-sister-in-law on Tuesday sent an affidavit to Senate Armed Services Committee Dems alleging that the drunken white nationalist bro’s behavior made his second wife, Samantha Hegseth, fear for her safety during their marriage, NBC News reports.

Tanking Member Jack Reed said “the reports of Mr Hegseth’s history of alleged sexual assault, alcohol abuse, and public misconduct necessitate an exhaustive background investigation. I have been concerned that the background check process has been inadequate, and this sworn affidavit confirms that fact,” after receiving Danielle Hegseth’s affidavit in response to request for “instances of abuse, or threats of abuse, perpetrated against any other person” and “mistreatment of a spouse, former spouse, or other members of his family.” Petey Pee Pants has not responded yet.

Convicted felon President Trump will on Tuesday declare it’s AI Infrastructure Week with tech oligarchs SoftBank CEO Masayoshi Son is expected at the White House along with Sam Altman of OpenAI and Larry Ellison of Oracle, CBS News reports, adding that the new $500 billion initiative is called “Stargate.” Be sure to print this article and laminate it so the survivors fighting the machines can piece together the clues to what happened in the before times.

“WHEREAS, an area oflow pressure moving across the Gulf of America, interacting with Arctic air, will bring widespread.impactful winter weather to North Florida beginning Tuesday, January 21, 2025; and WHEREAS, Winter Storm Warnings have been issued for the western Florida Panhandle, with additional extensions eastward along the I-10 corridor this afternoon and evening; and WHEREAS, all modes of hazardous winter weather will be likely, including snow, sleet, and freezing rain;” and blah blah blah, says heels-wearing Governor Ron DeSantis’s Tuesday order declaring a state of emergency in Florida, emphasis added to a fictional body of water being mentioned prominently.

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley was denaturalized on Monday, no longer a citizen of the United States despite being born in the Palmetto State in 1972, as neither of her parents were American citizens at that time. Thus Haley is no longer a citizen of the United States.

Convicted felon President Trump’s executive order ending birthright citizenship, titled “PROTECTING THE MEANING AND VALUE OF AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP” specified that Haley was no longer considered a citizen because, per the order, “Among the categories of individuals born in the United States and not subject to the jurisdiction thereof, the privilege of United States citizenship does not automatically extend to persons born in the United States: (1) when that person’s mother was unlawfully present in the United States and the father was not a United States citizen or lawful permanent resident at the time of said person’s birth, or (2) when that person’s mother’s presence in the United States at the time of said person’s birth was lawful but temporary (such as, but not limited to, visiting the United States under the auspices of the Visa Waiver Program or visiting on a student, work, or tourist visa) and the father was not a United States citizen or lawful permanent resident at the time of said person’s birth,” emphasis added to the part that applies to Haley.

Thus, along with former Vice President Kamala Harris and as many as tens of millions of other former US citizens, Nikki Haley has been denaturalized, although she should be able to become one after a lengthy process given her marriage to Michael Haley, who is (probably) still a natural-born citizen.