Iranian dictator Ayatollah Ali Khamenei on Wednesday officially rejected convicted felon President Trump’s proposed agreement on the fascist theocracy’s nuclear program, with Hairy Al’s main sticking point the total proscription of uranium enrichment, Jewish Insider reports on another foreign policy failure that will be spun as somehow a victory for the toughest negotiator ever.

Khamenei announced the collapse of the talks during a speech at some other robed Shiite wizard’s grave, saying that Iran’s “enemies have focused all their attention on this very process of uranium enrichment… A nuclear industry without enrichment capabilities is useless because we would then be dependent on others to obtain fuel for our power plants,” and warning that without enrichment, Iran would be “reliant on them for radiopharmaceuticals, energy, desalination equipment and in tens of other critical sectors.” There’s been some back-and-forth on the reporting on whether Trump’s coffee boy Steve Witkoff had actually put a low allowance for enrichment on the table for the Iranians, but either way Trump nuked that provision in a Monday night Truth Social post.

“The rude, insolent US leaders want this. They’re opposed to progress and self-sufficiency for the Iranian people… Those in power today – the Zionists and the Americans – should know they can’t do a damn thing in this area,” Khamenei said as probably upward of a thousand armed personnel surrounded him to guard against ISIS suicide bombers and Iranian citizens angry at their low standard of living, shitty wages, lack of educational and employment opportunities, and so on.

BREAKING: Rep James Comer announces the Biden investigation is expanding and more senior officials will be called to testify before the House Oversight Committee. pic.twitter.com/MY6zNDQBQ1

— Sean Hannity 🇺🇸 (@seanhannity) June 4, 2025

“Today, the non-partisan ethics watchdog, the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT), filed a complaint requesting the Board of Ethics and Government Accountability investigate and take appropriate action against Muriel Bowser, Mayor of Washington, DC, to determine if she accepted illegal gifts of travel and hospitality regarding several of her recent prominent trips. Despite public inquiries, the mayor’s office has either ignored questions or provided false information about her travels,” says a press release from the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT).

“In 2023, Mayor Bowser and four of her staffers traveled to Doha for the UN Climate Conference in Dubai. No record showed who funded the trip (except a three-night $3,500 taxpayer-paid hotel stay in Dubai from Bowser’s Chief of Staff). When the press questioned this, the mayor’s office initially said the trip was paid for by the DC Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber later said that was not true. Then, the mayor’s office said the trip was paid for by the US Conference of Mayors.”

“That was also false. Then in February, the mayor’s office sent a letter to Qatar because it was Qatar who actually paid for their trip. The letter requested an expense breakdown, labeled the payments as an ‘in-kind donation’, and sought a retroactive donation agreement – despite the trip occurring years earlier. Shockingly, it wasn’t until a March 2025 FOIA request that it was publicly revealed Qatar had paid over $61,930 for the 2023 trip the mayor’s office now claims was a donation. As of May 2025, the District still lacks a record of Qatar’s payment. In addition to their Qatar excursion, the Mayor has taken a handful of other trips which have gone unreported – including to the Masters Golf Tournament, Las Vegas, Miami, and Mar-a-Lago,” the watchdog’s Tuesday press release continued.

“With the exception of the RIGGED PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2020, THE AUTOPEN IS THE BIGGEST POLITICAL SCANDAL IN AMERICAN HISTORY!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, which along with “THE UNITED STATES HAD THE BEST MAY IN 30 YEARS. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” and “I like President XI of China, always have, and always will, but he is VERY TOUGH, AND EXTREMELY HARD TO MAKE A DEAL WITH!!!” several minutes earlier were his first posts since drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk Cybertrucked the Big Beautiful Bill. It’s almost like the fat bastard was upset but was still taking pains to avoid addressing Elon.

White trash Britons Jonathan Christopher Collyer, 38, Lisa Ellen Stocker, 39, and Phineas Ambrose Float, 31, are facing the death penalty after Collyer and Stocker thought boxes of some kind of powdered pudding mix called “Angel Delight” was the perfect disguise for a kilogram of cocaine for delivery to Float, the Telegraph reports on some dumb Limeys about to reach the find out phase.

If convicted and sentenced to the firing squad, the three would be the 97th, 98th, and 99th foreigners on Indonesia’s death row for drug offenses, though there’s a moratorium in place.

So @elonmusk is right to call out House Leadership. I wish I had a nickel for every time the @freedomcaucus sounded the alarm and nobody listened, only to find out the hard way we were right all along. https://t.co/sVnAzh6C8H

— Rep. Scott Perry (@RepScottPerry) June 3, 2025

The stupid twatwaffle later edited the tweet to add “We expect MASSIVE improvements from the Senate before it gets back to the House,” but keeping the original here just for fun.

Cops in Palm Beach, Florida on Tuesday arrested a 23 year-old Texas man who jumped the wall around convicted felon President Trump’s hooker pad seeking to copulate with Donald’s 18 year-old granddaughter Kai and talk to the Orange Jesus about “the gospel,” Palm Beach Daily News reports.

Anthony Thomas Reyes faces a misdemeanor trespassing charge, court records show. He remained at the Palm Beach County Jail on a $50,000 bond after pleading not guilty later in the day during his initial appearance before Judge Daliah Weiss, according to jail records obtained by the Daily News.

Sad story that goes to show Trump isn’t really the “man of the people” his fans claim he is. A real down-to-earth guy would have texted Reyes to say he can eff his teenage granddaughter while waiting from him to fly down from DC so they could hang out and talk about the Bible.

Warner Discovery shareholders on Tuesday rejected the $51.9 million pay package for utterly detestable fucking cocksucker CEO David Zaslav, the Wall Street Journal reports. The vote was unfortunately symbolic and non-binding due to some “say on pay” provision apparently common in the world of executive compensation. Still, it could be a hint that the cheap, loathsome twat, who’s overseen a 59 percent drop in the media company’s market value since taking over via a merger with Discovery Channel in 2022, has finally worn out his welcome with them at least.

Zaslav’s greatest hits include the CNN Chris Licht debacle, shelving a fucking $90 million Batgirl movie starting a Latina actress as the titular superhero when it was almost finished so he could write it off their taxes, removing content from HBO Max like the show Westworld so he could deprive actors of pennies of royalties every time someone streamed it, and other greedy, cuntish, and stupid moves all while taking home $140 million. Oh and fighting game fans were fucked over by the MultiVersus shutdown last week. Zaslav should be demoted to test subject at an Acme TNT facility.

Six One-Way Tickets for Mohamed’s Wife and Five Kids. Final Boarding Call Coming Soon. ✈️ pic.twitter.com/R32j1Ic8Ml

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) June 3, 2025

Hmmm… Seems kind of cruel and gratuitous, doesn’t it?

You will not be at all surprised to learn that Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s apparent belief or soothing self-delusion or whatever that drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s sudden betrayal of the MAGA GOP’s Big Beautiful Bill was “not personal” was incorrect and that it is actually personal, according to Axios’s Marc Caputo’s White House sources – who obviously came with him to “Be Smart” bullet point land when he got poached from the Bulwark a few months ago.

Convicted felon President Trump has yet to comment publicly on the drama and all Caputo has so far is that he’s “irked” by the turn – which Musk continued ranting against on Twitter on Tuesday, posting shit like “In November next year, we fire all politicians who betrayed the American people” by voting for the Big Beautiful Bill, lol – but a source summarized the reason with “Elon was butthurt.”

Musk’s grievances against the Trump Regime and the GOP, per Caputo’s sources, can be summarized as (1) The bill gutting the electric vehicle tax credit. (2) The 130-day limit for his “special government employee status” that led to his termination, whatever you want to call it. Nobody with even the most cursory understanding of the Trump style of “governing” believes for a fucking second that they give a shit about the law and that he couldn’t continue there in some official or unofficial capacity if Team Trump wanted him to stay. (3) The FAA wouldn’t buy a Starlink system for air traffic control because it would’ve been a conflict of interest and, per a source “You can’t have air traffic control just run off satellites.” Again, lol. Even if it didn’t work the Trump Regime still would’ve bought it if they wanted to. (4) Trump withdrew that Jared Isaacman chode’s nomination for NASA administrator which, as quite a few people believed, was a fuck you to Musk.

Apparently Musk is one of those people too, and he was not happy his dude got fired.

“Over this last weekend, for those of us who try to keep up with political news, it was hard to miss a headline from an Iowa town hall. When defending the Medicaid cuts that the popularly known ‘Big Beautiful Bill’ contained, Sen Joni Ernst (R-IA) scoffed, seemingly in frustration, ‘Well, we’re all going to die.’ Democrats, trying to make political hay out of the comment, replayed it frequently, and the quote quickly made its way into meme form. Shortly after the original town hall, Ernst posted a video to social media where she, citing her faith, sarcastically doubled down on her remark,” writes Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball/University of Virginia Center for Politics, going on to explain that the change from “Safe” to “Likely” was also prompted by Dem state Rep JD Scholten’s entry into the race.

Scholten came within 3 percent of defeating utterly fucking demented white nationalist Steve King in 2018 before taking a beating to King’s replacement, the now-Congressman Randy Feenstra in 2020. Scholten still outperformed Joe Biden in the deep red 4th District. He could prove formidable.

Republican Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin on Tuesday announced the state’s 11th District special election to replace the late Congressman Gerry Connolly for September 9th, Fox News reports.

At 111 days after Connolly’s death on May 21st, it’s nearly a month longer than the 85 between the November 2022 death of other Dem Donald McEachin and the special to replace him, but then again Congress is out from July 25th through September 2nd, so the actual work days missed would probably end up being a wash – though it’d be nice to have another Dem ready to be sworn in before September. Either way, Youngkin once again isn’t pulling the same cunty move Ron DeSantis did back in 2021, delaying a special in a blue district by nine months, or what Low Energy Greg is doing now currently by delaying the special to replace Congressman Sylvester Turner until November.

In related news on the other seat Connolly’s death left empty, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett on Tuesday announced she’s running for ranking member of the House Oversight Committee.

Speaking to reporters after Ketamine Brain – who it need be reminded is not now and never was an elected official in the United States, holds no official position within the Republican Party, and just showed up at the White House to “work” for a few months at an unpaid fake job before leaving last week – pulled his support for the Mega MAGA bill, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Tuesday said “with all due respect, my friend Elon is terribly wrong about” the legislation, Politico reports.

Johnson claimed he’d had a 20 minute phone call after Musk’s tweet, explaining to him why the bill was awesome. “And he seemed to understand that,” Johnson added. “But for him to come out and pan the whole bill, to me, is just very disappointing – very surprising in light of the conversation I had with him yesterday… It’s not personal. I just deeply regret that he’s made this mistake,” lol.

The US Navy under the direction of Defense Secretary Petey Pee Pants, is considering denaming the vessels christened as the USNS Ruth Bader Ginsburg, USNS Harriet Tubman, USNS Harvey Milk, USNS Thurgood Marshall, USNS Dolores Huerta, USNS Lucy Stone, USNS Cesar Chavez, and USNS Medgar Evers, CBS News reports on the de-woke-ification of the US military.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore.

This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination.

Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 3, 2025

It gets better. “It will massively increase the already gigantic budget deficit to $2.5 trillion (!!!) and burden America citizens with crushingly unsustainable debt,” Leon also tweeted. No shit, lol.

A Culpeper County, Virginia man tells NPR that convicted felon President Trump’s pardon of corrupt asshole former Sheriff Scott Jenkins for selling deputy badges to any unqualified schmuck is an outrage. “It’s a failure of our justice system. He was guilty as could be. He needed to go to jail, and he didn’t. So what kind of a signal does that send?” said Ken Green, adding, “It’s a slap in the face, just like pardoning all of the January 6 people. I mean, some of them needed to go to jail.”

You already know the next question NPR asked, and Green’s answer. “It’s kind of a two-edged sword. I mean, you either support him, or you support the other side. And I can’t support the other side right now. So, I mean, it’s the lesser of two – it’s the evil you know,” said All-American cunt.

You also already guessed that the audio was recorded in a diner. There may or may not have been a two-second sound clip of a sizzling griddle and forks clanking in between the voice recordings.

Joining late so missed the bit where Karoline claimed that the days of putting criminals over their victims is over, which is kind of a lie because pardonees like Todd Chrisley, Paul Walzcak, and that “Nikola” douchebag no longer owe their victims any restitution for their crimes. And the one where she accused the Washington Post of manipulating the minds of Americans with some headline.

“Yunqing Jian, 33, and Zunyong Liu, 34, citizens of the People’s Republic of China, were charged in a criminal complaint with conspiracy, smuggling goods into the United States, false statements, and visa fraud, announced United States Attorney Jerome F Gorgon, Jr. The FBI arrested Jian in connection with allegations related to Jian’s and Liu’s smuggling into America a fungus called Fusarium graminearum, which scientific literature classifies as a potential agroterrorism weapon.”

“This noxious fungus causes ‘head blight,’ a disease of wheat, barley, maize, and rice, and is responsible for billions in economic losses worldwide each year. Fusarium graminearum’s toxins cause vomiting, liver damage, and reproductive defects in humans and livestock. According to the complaint, Jian received Chinese government funding for her work on this pathogen in China.”

“The complaint also alleges that Jian’s electronics contain information describing her membership in and loyalty to the Chinese Communist Party. It is further alleged that Jian’s boyfriend, Liu, works at a Chinese university where he conducts research on the same pathogen and that he first lied but then admitted to smuggling Fusarium graminearum into America – through the Detroit Metropolitan Airport – so that he could conduct research on it at the laboratory at the University of Michigan where his girlfriend, Jian, worked,” says a Tuesday Justice Department press release.

Six months to the day after pilled right wing nutcase now-former South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol set in motion his political demise by declaring fucking martial law, his defeated 2022 opponent, Democrat Lee Jae-Myung’s got his revenge, beating conservative Kim Moon-Soo, who officially conceded in the country’s heated special election early Wednesday local time, AFP reports.

“I will humbly accept the choice of the people. Congratulations to the elected candidate Lee Jae-Myung,” said Kim, probably no relation to the Korean peninsula’s other national leader.