After a lot of screeching and threats of ICE enforcement and attempts at sabotage by Don Jr’s allies, the canvassers collecting signatures for a petition that will freeze Missouri’s congressional map through at least the 2026 midterms – thereby preserving the seat held by Kansas City Dem Congressman Emanuel Cleaver – plan to submit their roll to the Secretary of State next week, having gathered 200,000 signatures, well above the 107,000 required, the Missouri Independent reports.

Of course Secretary of State Denny Hoskins is going to kick and scream over this, declaring he would not accept any signatures – about 90,000 – that were gathered before the state legislature passed the new map. He’s also being sued for changing the ballot measure proposal’s language to say it “better reflects statewide voting patterns” and replaces a “gerrymandered” version that “protects incumbent politicians.” Attorney General Catherine Hanaway meanwhile filed a federal lawsuit arguing that even though the MAGA map is a piece of legislation approved by the state legislature, it should not be subject to a ballot measure. God forbid they have to win the referendum.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell is still alive the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports, adding that he also plans to run for governor of Minnesota next year. The mustachioed bedding pitchman, who is deeply in debt after pissing away tens of millions of his fortune on various failed attempts to overturn the 2020 election, used to be a crack addict and his disappearance from the media spotlight was assumed by this website to have been caused by a possibly fatal relapse into drug abuse.

“If there was someone to win, it would be me,” Lindell said of the GOP field that includes Minnesota House Speaker Lisa Demuth, failed 2022 nominee Scott Jensen, state Representative Kristin Robbins, businessman Kendall Qualls, and attorney Chris Madel. They don’t have bobbleheads.

Shitweasel Speaker of the House Mike Johnson is now opposed to banning members of Congress from trading stocks, a 180 from his earlier (albeit lip service-y) position on the matter and wishes that psycho Anna Paulina Luna hadn’t filed the discharge petition for the bill, saying she “gets anxious and wants things to happen quicker,” Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports.

“So there’s probably a way to do that that still allows for lawful conduct by members,” said Johnson, saying that insider trading should be policed internally. “You don’t want another deterrence for good people running for office,” Johnson added, apparently with zero irony or even self-awareness.

The family of 42 year-old Alejandro Carranza Medina, one of now dozens of men killed unlawfully by the Trump Wehrmacht in the Carribbean over the last few months, have filed a formal complaint with the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights against convicted felon President Trump and binge-drinking date rapist Pete Hegseth for ordering the strike that ended Medina’s life, AFP reports.

Obviously Trump is most likely going to pardon himself and Hegseth when this four-year shitshow is finally over. However President Wes Moore or Kamala Harris or Gavin Newsom will have certain latitudes to be creative, especially given the precedent set by Trump sending innocent asylum claimants to the CECOT dungeon in El Salvador. They can get very creative in finding justice.

Barack Obama killed hundreds of innocent civilians in drone attacks.

Not a word from libs on "war crimes."

Meanwhile, over 70% of Americans support @POTUS and @SecWar blowing up narco-terrorists who’ve poisoned our friends, family members, and neighbors before they reach our…

— Markwayne Mullin (@SenMullin) December 3, 2025

Before January 1, 2023, now 50 year-old Massachusetts man Brian Walshe was in trouble. He had already pleaded guilty in a federal court in 2021 to selling forged artworks and could’ve gotten off with time served – if his $475,000 restitution check hadn’t bounced. So he was looking at a few years in the joint and his wife, 39 year-old Serbian immigrant Ana, an exec with fancy global property firm Tishman Speyer was having an affair with some real estate broker in DC.

Ana Walshe regularly commuted to the capital for work while staying at a $1.3 million townhouse she owned there, so obviously she had options for her and the three boys, now aged 4 to 8, she’d had with Brian after the jackass felon reported to Club Fed – though the sentencing date was still in flux at that point. So the family rang in 2023 in their home in the Boston suburb of Cohasset with an unidentified guest who left around 1 AM. What happened next is… Well Ana’s remains still haven’t been found and Brian last month pleaded guilty to misleading a police investigation and improper conveyance of a human body, but maintains his innocence on the first degree murder charge.

The defense strategy is to sell the jury on the idea that Brian woke up at some point early that morning to find Ana suddenly deceased in their bed of unknown causes and, out of sheer panic, stupidity, and fear given the circumstantial evidence against him that he carved up her corpse and disposed of it. The old “limited hangout” theory of “I’m a bad guy but not that bad,” and the evidence presented so far in the trial – specifically Walshe’s browser activity in late December 2022/early January 2023 – is actually pretty consistent with that tortuously overtechnical defense.

“The Committee on the Judiciary is continuing to conduct oversight of the operations of the Office of Special Counsel you led-specifically, your team’s prosecutions of President Donald J Trump and his co-defendants. Due to your service as Special Counsel, the Committee believes that you possess information that is vital to its oversight of this matter. Based upon communications with your counsel, we understand that you are available to testify at a deposition on December 17, 2025.”

“Accordingly, please find enclosed a testimonial subpoena for a deposition at 10:00 am on December 17, 2025 and a document subpoena for the requested materials to be produced to the Committee by December 12, 2025. Pursuant to Rule X of the House of Representatives, the Committee has jurisdiction to conduct oversight of the Justice Department to inform potential legislative reforms.”

“Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter,” writes spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan in a subpoena to former Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith.

In October Smith’s lawyers had challenged Jordan and his Senate counterpart, Old Man Charles Grassley, to hold public testimony, something the pants-pissing wimps obviously bitched out of.

Ilhan Omar says President Trump is “an old man losing his mind” and that she will be around much longer than him.

Send her back.
pic.twitter.com/vsjcjl2JJr

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) December 3, 2025

“For years, the Biden Administration weaponized the Justice System against their Political Opponents, and anyone who disagreed with them. One of the clearest examples of this was when Crooked Joe used the FBI and DOJ to ‘take out’ a member of his own Party after Highly Respected Congressman Henry Cuellar bravely spoke out against Open Borders, and the Biden Border ‘Catastrophe.’ Sleepy Joe went after the Congressman, and even the Congressman’s wonderful wife, Imelda, simply for speaking the TRUTH. It is unAmerican and, as I previously stated, the Radical Left Democrats are a complete and total threat to Democracy! They will attack, rob, lie, cheat, destroy, and decimate anyone who dares to oppose their Far Left Agenda, an Agenda that, if left unchecked, will obliterate our magnificent Country. Because of these facts, and others, I am hereby announcing my full and unconditional PARDON of beloved Texas Congressman Henry Cuellar, and Imelda.”

“Henry, I don’t know you, but you can sleep well tonight – Your nightmare is finally over,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, pardoning a corrupt Dem currently sitting in Congress, who twice voted to impeach Donald, before his trial on charges for soliciting $600,000+ in bribes from some Azerbaijani and Mexican scumbags even started. What a fucking moron.

Just this morning the Texas Tribune reported that there’s no serious primary challenge against Cuellar, even though he and Imelda had been set to face a jury in April. “The National Republican Congressional Committee is targeting Cuellar’s seat as a top pickup opportunity in 2026, viewing his indictment as an opportunity to flip the seat red,” the Tribune literally wrote… five hours before Trump basically just endorsed him. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, this is so goddamned funny.

Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday told Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman that he hopes to swear in Republican Tennessee Congressman-Elect Matt Van Epps “this week” rather than the two months he took with Dem Arizona Congresswoman Adelita Grijalva to delay the forced release of the Epstein files or even derail the discharge petition effort by getting Republican signees to back out.

On what Van Epps’s margin revealed about the GOP’s 2026 outlook, Johnson projected confidence about his conference’s ability to project confidence. Seriously. “Look, we’re about competency, calm and common sense here, we’re going to just continue to project that every day, no matter the headwinds, and the American people are going to reward that,” Johnson told Sherman. Lol.

MAGA Kansas Senator Roger Marshall on Wednesday seemed very knowledgeable about how many American lives were saved when binge-drinking Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth ordered Navy personnel to kill men clinging to a disabled “drug” boat a few months ago, but then predictably changed his tune when asked to comment on convicted felon President Trump’s pardon of Juan Orlando Hernandez, the former Honduran President/federal inmate who had been doing 45 years for drug trafficking until the Orange God Emperor sprung him on Tuesday.

“he Department of Homeland Security today launched a federal law enforcement operation with Operation Catahoula Crunch in New Orleans, Louisiana, targeting criminal illegal aliens roaming free thanks to sanctuary policies that force local authorities to ignore US Immigration and Customs Enforcement arrest detainers. ‘Sanctuary policies endanger American communities by releasing illegal criminal aliens and forcing DHS law enforcement to risk their lives to remove criminal illegal aliens that should have never been put back on the streets,’ said Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin. ‘It is asinine that these monsters were released back onto New Orleans streets to COMMIT MORE CRIMES and create more victims. Catahoula Crunch targets include violent criminals released after arrest for home invasion, armed robbery, grand theft auto, and rape. Under President Trump and Secretary Noem, we are restoring law and order for the American people,'” says the Trump Regime in a statement heralding their new assault on non-criminal undocumented migrants.

“Private sector employment shed 32,000 jobs in November and pay was up 4.4 percent year-over-year according to the November ADP National Employment Report® produced by ADP Research in collaboration with the Stanford Digital Economy Lab (‘Stanford Lab’). The ADP National Employment Report is an independent measure of the labor market based on the anonymized weekly payroll data of more than 26 million private-sector employees in the United States. ADP’s Pay Insights captures over 15 million individual pay change observations each month. Together, the jobs report and pay insights use ADP’s fine-grained data to provide a representative and high-frequency picture of the private-sector labor market. ‘Hiring has been choppy of late as employers weather cautious consumers and an uncertain macroeconomic environment,’ said Dr Nela Richardson, chief economist, ADP. ‘And while November’s slowdown was broad-based, it was led by a pullback among small businesses,'” says payroll company ADP in their own monthly jobs report.

The federal government’s monthly jobs data won’t be published until the 16th, delayed because convicted felon President Trump and his supplicants refused to make healthcare affordable.

EXPOSED: MTG’s @RepMTG Secret Ties To Soros-Funded Trump Haters Behind Her Latest Meltdownhttps://t.co/TB2FwjE6EQ

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) December 3, 2025

MAGA Republican Matt Van Epps has defeated Democrat state Representative Aftyn Behn in the Tennessee 7th District special election, Cook Political Report’s Dave Wasserman projects.

It will not be a comfortable margin. Single digits, maybe as low as +3 in a race that should never have been close until the GOP started slamming the panic button a few weeks ago. All that hype and now the spotlight’s on the margin and Behn’s massive overperformance above a Trump +22 district baseline. Mike Johnson and his minions will sleep just a little tiny bit less uneasily tonight.

Four weeks after a Dem former governor who resigned due to a sex scandal got squashed in a mayoral election on one side of the Hudson well the same thing happened on the other: Jim McGreevy, who resigned from the top job in New Jersey in 2004 because he was effing some Israeli spy dude, was defeated in the Jersey City mayoral race by progressive councilman James Solomon and not by a close margin at all, with the current count at 68 to 31 percent, per @Umichvoter.

Convicted felon President Trump’s dude in the Honduras presidential election Nasry Asfura fell behind centrist Salvador Nasralla in the ongoing vote count on Tuesday by a few thousand votes but only about 63 percent of ballots had been counted thus far so it’ still a ball game, Reuters reports.

Yeah there’s not really any like bigger political picture or comment on the media or furious editorializing on the state of American society to be found here in this story sourced from a Tuesday Facebook post by the Hanover County, Virginia Animal Protection and Shelter. A raccoon somehow broke into a state-owned liquor store in the town of Ashland late Friday/early Saturday, knocked over a dozen or two bottles of what appears to be gin, vodka, and other various spirits, licked some of it off the floor, got fucked up, and hilariously passed out in the restroom next to the toilet as though he was trying to vomit. The cop who responded took these excellent pics and brought the self-tranquilized animal to the shelter to sleep the libations off while vets examined him. Finding no injuries or disease, they then released him back into the wild at an undisclosed location.

That’s it. No policy or cultural implications. Nothing MAGA or libtarded, Nazi or Marxist about it. No punching up, down, or laterally. MAYBE there’s room for self-reflection that this is fairly close to a literal “man bites dog” story in that, had it been a human doing the exact same thing then it might not be worth a pickup here but this site has ran some pretty banal stories because they were banal. Either way, let’s be real: There’s no need to force any further grating meta-commentary here.

A drunk, passed-out raccoon in a liquor store can and absolutely should be appreciated on its own terms, especially the way the little bastard is splayed out on his furry belly like that, claws all limp.