“Rep Cory Mills (R-Fla), a rising star in Republican circles and on TV news, told Blaze News he was married by a radical Muslim cleric but did not realize it at the time,” says the lede to the Glenn Beck-founded outlet’s interview of the incel-ish far right congressman and boy, it’s a doozy, lol.

Wanted to cram into the headline that it had also ended with him threatening to sue Blaze but there’s only so much space here and we’ll get to that part. But going in a straight line down the far right media outlet’s takedown of the seemingly increasingly imperiled MAGA Floridian – coming just days after NOTUS got at least two soldiers Mills served with on the record to say his Bronze Star was based on false tellings of his service on Iraqi battlefields – it seems that the 44 year-old Mills technically hasn’t been cheating on his wife with extremely attractive 27 year-old “Iranians for Trump” activist Sarah Raviani as he’s supposedly been separated from and in the process of divorcing Rana Al Saadi, a naturalized US citizen from Iraq. The relationship with Raviani – who Mills is credibly alleged to have assaulted but Acting DC US Attorney Ed Martin killed the investigation and refused to sign an arrest warrant – wasn’t a secret to his staff or others in Republican politics.

Following the letter of their respective conservative Mormon-heavy states’ laws banning the display of unofficial flags on municipal property, but most certainly not the spirit as the laws are intended to ban Pride flags, the city governments of Salt Lake City, Utah and Boise, Idaho on Wednesday officially adopted rainbow flags through separate but similar means, the AP reports

Boise made the Pride flag one of its official city flags following an April 3 state government ban on the symbol whilst Salt Lake City created a new city flag incorporating a Pride flag.

“My sincere intent is not to provoke or cause division,” said Salt Lake Mayor Erin Mendenhall. “My intent is to represent our city’s values and honor our dear diverse residents who make up this beautiful city and the legacy of pain and progress that they have endured.”

“Strange Encounter on Patrol 🦝 On May 5th, at approximately 7:15 PM, Springfield Township Police Officer Austin Branham, conducted a traffic stop on South Arlington Road after identifying a vehicle whose registered owner had an active warrant and a suspended driver’s license. During the investigation, Officer Branham made contact with the driver, identified as 55 year old Victoria Vidal (of Woodbirch Ave. in the City of Akron), and detained her without incident. However, things took an unusual turn. As Officer Branham returned to the vehicle, he observed a raccoon named ‘Chewy’ sitting in the driver’s seat with a meth pipe in its mouth. Chewy had somehow gotten hold of a glass methamphetamine pipe, leading officers to further inspect the vehicle. A subsequent search revealed: Bulk amount of Methamphetamine, Crack Cocaine, Three used glass meth pipes.”

“Ms Vidal was charged with F3 possession of drugs, three counts of possession of drug paraphernalia, and was cited for driving under suspension. She was also turned over to Cuyahoga Falls Police on her active warrant. Additional charges related to crack cocaine possession will be presented at Grand Jury pending BCI lab results. Thankfully, Chewy the raccoon was unharmed, and notification was made to the proper authorities to determine that she has the proper paperwork and documentation to own the raccoon. While our officers are trained to expect the unexpected, finding a raccoon holding a meth pipe is a first! No raccoons were hurt or injured in this incident.”

“As always, we remain committed to keeping our community safe – no matter what surprises may come our way,” says a press release from the Springfield, Ohio Township Police Department.

In a hostile political act, the Federal Reserve Bank on Wednesday left interest rates intact and therefore declared war on the Trump Administration or whatever the story’s going to be after the fat bastard hears about it and loses his mind that he won’t be getting a bailout in the market.

The Trump Regime has a C-17 fueled and ready to fly to Libya on Wednesday to drop a few dozen undocumented migrants there, CNN reports while short on other major details like the nationalities of those on board. Suffice to say it would be extremely fucked up and cruel to be sending Latin American migrants across the Atlantic, and maybe just marginally less so if they’re from somewhere in the relative vicinity of the deeply dysfunctional North African country. Marginally, as CNN notes the State Department website lists a Level 4 travel advisory for Libya, reading “Do not travel to Libya due to crime, terrorism, unexploded landmines, civil unrest, kidnapping, and armed conflict.”

“Trolli®, the rule-bending sour gummi brand known for its dual neon colors, bold flavors, and soft and chewy texture candy, today announced the nationwide launch of Trolli® Sour Brite Squad™. The new product is an innovative addition to the popular Sour Brite Crawlers® lineup that promises to revolutionize the sour candy experience. After rolling out at select retailers in late 2024, these distinctive crawlers are now ready to jolt taste buds across the country. A Sensory Snacking Adventure: The new Trolli Sour Brite Squad invites candy enthusiasts to level up their taste bud game with a trio of uniquely shaped crawlers with explosive flavor. Each worm brings a chewy twist thanks to three unique shapes and mouthwatering mixes. Featuring trending berry and citrus flavors, including Blackberry-Lime, Strawberry-Lemonade, and Raspberry-Orange, to create a perfect balance of sour and sweet to tantalize the taste buds,” says the Trolli brand in a press release.

“This latest innovation continues Trolli’s commitment to pushing the boundaries of traditional gummy candy. The new shapes and ridged textures enhance the sensory experience, making each bite both visually appealing and deliciously sour,” the release continued and ummmm… It’s all a bit extra, right?

Like specifically what kind of rules are being bent and boundaries pushed? How does one project such confidence that they’re truly going to “disrupt” the gummy candy space if said limits have not been defined? Surely there must be some code, written or unwritten, of conduct within the industry that could be at the very least hinted at so laypersons can use as a benchmark. Furthermore, why does this brand merely “bend” and “push” upon the nebulous confines of their present paradigm rather than fully break or breach them? Are they content to simply rankle the stuffed shirts over at Haribo, Ferrara-Pan, and other gummy manufacturers with these opaque, venial transgressions while still falling short of inviting their collective wrath with an irreparably mortal sin? Just working with the facts at hand renders hollow Trolli’s self-created mythos of themselves as a formidable den of rogues. They sound like candy boys who think they can work with candy men.

Spotted in Austin: “All gender restroom.” On a recent trip to Texas. Um, no. There are only two.

Hold the line. Biology isn’t bigotry. pic.twitter.com/TreAFaV6U7

— Nancy Mace (@NancyMace) May 7, 2025

Lawmakers with the Provincial Legislature’s minority New Democratic Party minority are trying to force the issue of secession shittalk by members of the right wing Saskatchewan Party agitating for independence following Liberal Prime Minister Mark Carney’s win in last month’s election by putting it to a vote in the chamber on Wednesday, CTV News reports. Saskie Party Premier Scott Moe has previously said he’s not interested in the province separating from Canada but would not stop a referendum on the issue if it came up, which is a pretty textbook bitch-ass conservative move, hence the New Dems move to force it on him and the rest of the assclowns in his party.

“This separatist push is damaging to our economy, especially at a time when we see broad consensus for nation-building projects,” New Dem MLA Aleana Young said Tuesday. “This is a time when we should be building Canada up, not tearing everything down.” Moe in response told reporters – and again, it need be emphasized that he’s not for secession but he’s against the New Dems from legislatively precluding a referendum on it because he’s a bitch who won’t take a real position – that the New Dems forcing a legislative vote “want to take away that voice. That’s wrong.”

Asked why members of his party in the legislature were in a Facebook group run by Saskatchewan separatists, Moe said “Many of those individuals aren’t separatists in any way. They’re just feeling a degree of frustration with the feeling of not being listened to by the federal government,” and Jesus Christ just fucking move to America and become a Republican already you stupid asshole, lol.

In related news far right Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is not experiencing similar problems on the question of secession in her province. She told a livestream audience on Monday that she’d happily support a referendum on the matter provided a ballot access petition gets enough signatures.

President Donald Trump on Wednesday urged India and Pakistan to allow cooler heads to prevail and to avoid the current conflict from escalating into an all-out war, posting the following:

“The Election Interfering 60 Minutes interview with Kamala Harris, which aired on CBS just before Election Day and deep into Early Voting, turned out to be much worse than expected, with her answers being unlawfully fixed, manipulated, and doctored throughout by CBS, in order to try and make Kamala appear at least somewhat coherent. The full transcript, which 60 Minutes, CBS, and Paramount tried to hide from the American People, and refused to release until after I was already Inaugurated, and they were ordered to do so by the Federal Communications Commission, shows that the ‘interview’ was nothing but fake, corrupt, anti-Trump propaganda. On top of that, in a total slap in the face to anyone who believes in TRUTH and Honest Journalism, this Fake News Puff Piece has now been nominated for an award by the totally discredited Emmys. Did 60 Minutes and its Corporate Parents apply to get an Emmy for an illegally falsified interview, or did other Fake Outlets nominate them for this dubious ‘honor’? These antics are why the American People have no trust in the Press, and demand that the Media, very much including 60 Minutes, CBS, and its owners, be held responsible for their corruption and lies, which is exactly what we are doing in Court!”

Oh wait. That’s a conspiracy theory about the Emmy Awards and 60 Minutes. Maybe the next one:

“Our Court System is not letting me do the job I was Elected to do. Activist judges must let the Trump Administration deport murderers, and other criminals who have come into our Country illegally, WITHOUT DELAY!!!” and no, that one’s not about India and Pakistan either.

Well guess the headline’s wrong. Should probably get around to correcting it. Maybe later.

Men should not cross their legs. https://t.co/hohnCnGigI

— Jesse Watters (@JesseBWatters) May 6, 2025

WH releases photo of Trump meeting w/ Sen Tim Scott, saying in statement: "President Trump remains committed to positive race relations…" pic.twitter.com/lXpITsTmaV

— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) September 13, 2017

Credit to @BadFoxGraphics for the find. Give them a follow if you’re on Ketamine Brain’s platform.

After six months and multiple state court-level rulings that appeared to spell doom for incumbent Democratic North Carolina state Supreme Court Justice Allison Riggs, who won the November race for her seat against MAGA challenger Jefferson Griffin by a scant 734 votes out of over 5.5 million cast but nearly saw it overturned, the steal has finally been stopped as Griffin on Wednesday officially conceded following a Trump-appointed federal judge’s ruling that the Republican majority state Supreme Court and Board of Elections could not just throw out tens of thousands of legally-cast ballots after the fact, WRAL reports on a small victory for American democracy.

“While I do not fully agree with the District Court’s analysis, I respect the court’s holding – just as I have respected every judicial tribunal that has heard this case,” Griffin said. “I will not appeal the court’s decision.” Take the time to learn some more and better “respect,” you fucking cocksucker.

Republican Arizona gubernatorial candidate Karrin Taylor Robson, who last month lost half an endorsement from convicted felon President Trump, who couldn’t decide between her and white nationalist Congressman Andy Biggs, so he pussied out and blessed both after Biggs entered, is already experiencing some campaign difficulties as Axios reports Trump 2024 pollster Tony Fabrizio, shitbag Chris LaCivita, and MAGA Inc PAC leader Chris Grant have abruptly ghosted her team.

Trump’s lame endorsement split was itself the apparent catalyst for the departures as the trio had reportedly warned Robson to immediately capitalize upon the original full endorsement for Robson that Trump had posted months ago while Biggs was moving toward a launch. That way, they reasoned, it would’ve been harder for the fat fuck to also anoint Biggs. She didn’t listen and it was only on April 28th, six days after the post splitting the nod with Biggs that Robson began running the ads touting Donald’s backing. “She can run her own campaign now,” said a Trump minion.

“It takes special skill to botch a GOP primary with the Trump endorsement, but unfortunately that’s what this candidate has single-handedly assured,” a GOP strategist told Axios. “It’s basically the greatest self-own in GOP political history,” the strategist continued, and lol, that might just be a tad overstated, don’t you think? Yeah, stupid Karrin Taylor Robson for not anticipating the mercuriality and fair-weather friendship of the Orange God Emperor which is definitely putting her campaign in a bad place more than a year before the goddamned primary, but to call it “basically the greatest self-own in GOP political history” is to deny credit to some of the true all-time greats from even just the last decade. Like holy shit how do you even say that after the January 2021 Georgia runoff? Or nominating Herschel Walker for Georgia Senate in 2022? Nominating Doug Mastriano for Pennsylvania gov the same year. Nominating Mark Robinson for North Carolina governor in 2024.

Fuck, we could be here all day naming bigger and more consequential GOP self-owns, lol.

Dem Illinois Congressman Raj Krishnamoorthi announced to ABC News on Wednesday he’s throwing in for the Senate seat being vacated by retiring Senator Dick Durbin. “I have a track record of standing up to Donald Trump in Congress. I voted for impeaching him twice, but I also … played a big role in the first impeachment hearings on Capitol Hill,” said Krishnamoorthi, who serves as the top Dem on the House select committee on the Chinese Communist Party and is a senior member of the Intel and Oversight committees. “But I have a track record of standing up to lots of bullies, whether it’s the e-cigarette companies that prey on our youth and try to hook them on vapes or it’s Purdue pharmaceuticals that try to hook a generation to Oxycontin. I’ve gone after all of them. They put a target on my back, but I got results, and now we need results with Trump, Elon Musk and DOGE.”

Krishnamoorthi has $19 million on-hand, which he’ll definitely need as he faces Lt Gov Juliana Stratton, who already landed endorsements from Gov JB Pritzker and Senator Tammy Duckworth.

Manhunt underway after alleged teen migrant gang members assault NYPD officers in NYC. pic.twitter.com/5wgGNEoWV7

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) May 7, 2025

Didn’t these punks get the memo? Trump is the Law and Order president! They’re not supposed to be fighting cops anymore! They were supposed to stop criming at 12 noon on January 20, 2025 because they’re too afraid of the new sheriff in town! How did they not know that Trump is president again?!?! Americans are supposed to feel safer now and these teens need to understand that!

Anyone who attacks a cop is flagrantly disobeying the president’s campaign narrative as the most pro-police president in history! This heinous attack on NYPD officers has no place in that narrative!

Venezuelan dictator Nicholas Maduro is in Moscow on Wednesday for a bilateral meeting with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, at which the two are expected to sign what rapey-mustached Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told media is a “weighty, substantial and very important framework document” for a “strategic partnership” between the two tyrants, Reuters reports on what should be a pickle for the MAGA binary worldview of “Russia good, Venezuela bad.”

But it probably won’t. After all, the fanboys and their Orange God Emperor have thus far managed to avoid any similar crises of cognitive dissonance when it comes to the Kremlin’s friendships with a constellation of other villains over the years, including but not limited to Hamas, the Houthis, Iran, North Korea, and the Chinese Communists, the last of whose leader, fellow tyrant Xi Jinping, will be in attendance for Thursday’s big 80th anniversary World War II victory parade in Moscow. Peskov was kind of freaking the fuck out about the threat of Ukrainian drone attacks on the shindig given the presence of the Chinese, Venezuelan, and other tyrannical overlords allied with Russia.

On a related and hilarious note regarding Venezuela: On Tuesday a National Security Council memo concluding that the Maduro regime is “probably not” directing Tren de Aragua to infiltrate the US leaked, proving that the Trump Reich is knowingly full of shit when they’ve repeatedly tried to claim in court that members of the crackerjack Venezuelan street gang are “alien enemies” or “enemy combatants” sent to destabilize American society. “While Venezuela’s permissive environment enables TDA to operate, the Maduro regime probably does not have a policy of cooperating with TDA and is not directing TDA movement to and operations in the United States,” says the memo, lol.

Couchfucking Vice President JD Vance’s brother Cory Bowman, who owns a coffee shop in Cincinnati, advanced to the general November general election in his run for the mayorship of the Skyline Chili city in Tuesday’s top-two technically nonpartisan primary, the New York Times reports.

That’s the good news for Bowman. The bad news is that the Republican’s second place finish was a very, very distant one at 2,894 votes or 12.9 percent, to incumbent Democrat Mayor Aftab Pureval’s 18,505 votes at 82.5 percent. Another Republican candidate, Brian Patrick Frank, was eliminated, but obviously consolidating Franks’s 1,022 votes at 4.6 percent are nowhere near enough needed for Bowman to be competitive. Turnout in the 2021 mayoral general election was larger than Tuesday’s primary, but not by orders of magnitude at 51,402. Pureval defeated fellow Dem David Mann 65.8 to 34.3 percent in that contest. It’s been literally a century since the last GOP mayor of Cincinnati who was elected popularly left office, though others had been picked by city council since then, the most recent in 1971, 54 years ago. So Cory’s got some work to do over the next six months.

It’s not clear why Bowman didn’t just pick some nearby district and run for the House instead of this silly suicide mission in a city that voted for Kamala by 77 percent. That worked for Greg Pence.

Someone please keep an eye on this and let us know if you see smoke. It’s important.

“Congressman Mike Lawler is a Strong Champion, and Highly Effective Representative, for the Great People of New York’s 17th Congressional District! A true America First Patriot, Mike is fighting hard to Secure our Border, Grow our Economy, Create Jobs, Lower Taxes, Promote American Energy DOMINANCE, Support our Brave Military/Veterans and Law Enforcement, Defend our always under siege Second Amendment. Additionally, he is endlessly working to get the maximum SALT Deduction! Mike is doing an outstanding job representing the Hudson Valley, and all of New York.”

“Because of the excellent job he is doing, Mike has my Complete and Total Endorsement for Re-Election to New York’s 17th Congressional District – HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, emphasis added to the “17th Congressional District” part, because this could mean Trump’s trying to nudge the “moderate” Lawler away from a gubernatorial primary battle against his other chosen scumbag acolyte, Elise Stefanik.

Either way, Lawler’s such a friggin douche and is a prime target for Dems next year. He doesn’t need his opponent to be able to use a “complete and total” Trump endorsement in an ad during what’s going to be a bad year for frontline Republicans and yet that’s exactly what Donald just posted.

How quickly these dildos sound like preachy anti-materialists from the 1990s when confronted with the reality that it’s only their stupid policies that are the cause rather some sort of swell of collective virtue. Almost like it’s a pattern, how they also sound like mid-2000s libs opposed to the Bush Admin because being anti-“government surveillance” and “pro-peace” were Russian priorities.