Conceding that yeah, things definitely got out of hand sometime thousands of years ago at a site in southwest England where the bones of dozens of individuals were found with human bite marks on them, researchers at Cambridge University allowed that maybe the bites were more of a ritual exercise than straight up consumption of human flesh for sustenance. The hefty benefit of the doubt from people not at all unlikely to have descended from these murderous savages takes up a considerable amount of space in a new report published by the Cambridge team on Monday.

“It is difficult to understand the human remains from [dig site] Horizon 2 in anything other than a context of extreme violence and systematic corporeal insult seemingly including anthropophagy.”

“While there are occasional examples of cutmarks on British and Irish Neolithic human remains, these are usually rationalised as the result of actions to hasten the transition to a fully skeletonised state and thus ‘ancestral’ status. There is no tradition of ritual dismemberment of the deceased for the British Early Bronze Age, nor would this explain the prevalence of cranial blunt-force injuries indicating that these individuals were killed beforehand. Differential mortuary treatment within the community, perhaps for those dying violent deaths, is also difficult to reconcile with estimates for the relatively short duration of deposition for Horizon 2. This does raise a question concerning the scale of the event, given the number of humans and animals represented,” says the research.

“Consumption of all individuals represented in the human and faunal assemblages from Horizon 2 in a single episode implies a substantial gathering and the complicity of potentially many hundreds of people. Whether some element of selection was involved, and its basis if so, is unknown. It is possible that the act of butchery was more important than the actual consumption, which may have been token. This requires further research and integration of faunal analyses,” the very blatantly wishcast-y report continued. Good luck finding more proof it was just locker room cannibalism.

German Chancellor Olaf Schulz took an absolute beating in a confidence vote on Monday – 207 to 394, with 116 no-shows among the Bundestag members – setting Europe’s largest economy up for snap elections to build a new governing coalition in February, Deutsche Welle reports

House Freedom Caucasians chairman Andy Harris, a fill-in for other far right asshole Bob Good who was elected to lead the group until he lost his primary against a more extreme MAGA challenger, didn’t say “Well Maria, there’s no evidence these are even drones. In fact a lot of people are fucking stupid and are filming conventional aircraft and claiming they are these mysterious drones,” when asked Monday by the Q-pilled Fox Business News host if the drones could be part of some kind of Chinese communist plot. Instead Harris said they certainly could be because the Biden open borders policy allowed thousands of Chinese infiltrators into the country via Mexico and blah blah blah.

Chesapeake, Virginia cops are investigating after the body of an unidentified male bearing gunshot wounds was found by a hiker in the Great Dismal Swamp on Sunday, the Virginian-Pilot reports.

No further details were reported on the dismal story out of the vast swampland stretching across Virginia and North Carolina’s borders. It’s not clear when the last time there was any truly great news about the area worthy of national media coverage. The Virginian-Pilot put an annoying paywall up on a May 2024 story about the black bear population of the swamp growing.

In an article titled “Why you shouldn’t try to shoot down a suspected drone,” CNN appears to performing a service for government officials concerned by the hype over this recent drone sighting hysteria – mainly concentrated in New Jersey but also hitting other states – could end up getting people killed by paranoid, mostly right wing freaks trying to take “the law” into their own hands.

“While I understand the frustration that mystery drones may cause, taking matters into private hands by firing at drones creates significant dangers,” said Rick Smith, CEO of Axon a company that manufactures anti-drone technology. Smith adds that a hitting a drone could “turn it into a missile” and cause “severe property damage and injury,” expert quotes included as if the type of person predisposed to opening fire on a “mystery drone” gives a shit, let alone even reads CNN articles.

“An unmanned aircraft hit by gunfire could crash, causing damage to persons or property on the ground, or it could collide with other objects in the air,” an FAA spokesperson said in an email to CNN which, again, just isn’t going to reach the intended audience who think the drones are the vanguard of a Iranian-Chinese-North Korean invasion force that will soon seize control of New Jersey.

The pleas for restraint from regular citizens via CNN come three days after convicted felon President-Elect Trump commanded his fans to shoot the drones down in a Truth Social post.

Officials from Metropolitan France on Monday were rushing supplies and rescue personnel to the Indian Ocean department of Mayotte after a fucking monster cyclone with winds upwards of 140 miles per hour thrashed the island over the weekend, with the Prefect Francois-Xavier Bieuville telling local media the death toll could be “close to a thousand or even several thousand,” on the densely populated and poor island of 320,000 souls, many living in tiny metal shacks, AFP reports.

Complicating matters for a territory with as many as 100,000 illegal immigrants from neighboring African countries is that, according to a local former nurse who spoke with AFP, many people were hiding from relief crews “fearing it would be a trap,” to deport them from Mayotte.

British officials on Monday greenlit a £3.6 billion takeover of Royal Mail, the UK’s equivalent to the United States Postal Service, by Czech billionaire Daniel Kretinsky’s EP Group after receiving assurances that the privatized system would continue to honor the obligation to deliver letters six days per week, Monday to Saturday, and packages Monday to Friday, the BBC reports.

The 500 year-old British postal system was privatized in 2011 and shares were listed on London’s stock exchange, leaving the Royal Mail “brand” is a subsidiary of another company called International Distribution Services, which also a highly profitable European shipping business whose £300 million gross profit in 2023 offset losses by Royal Mail. The British letter carrier union’s chief endorsed the takeover, saying it was the “best opportunity” to save the future of Royal Mail, with members getting a 10 percent share of dividend payouts to Kretinsky, though there’s no agreement on planned service reductions such as cutting second-class deliveries to every other day.

Maybe it’ll work out. After all, Royal Mail has been 90 percent privatized for more than a decade now, and despite being a money pit it hangs on under the same roof as a more profitable package shipping business. Of course if it weren’t already obvious to readers, we’re picking this up given that it comes just two days after the Washington Post reported that convicted felon President-Elect Trump and his minions are looking at privatizing the similarly unprofitable US Postal Service – and this buy-up of the UK’s by a foreigner involved in the Russian energy export business sure sounds like it’ll be cited as a “See libs? The Limeys still get their mail delivered every day. It’s fine.”

The California Department of Motor Vehicles on Thursday announced they’re recalling a Los Angeles-area license plate reading “LOLOCT7” after folks made the pretty obvious inference that it says “Lol October 7th,” as in the October 7th, 2023 Hamas terror attack that killed more than 1,500 Israelis and sparked a genocidal retaliatory campaign by the IDF, USA Today reports.

Mocking the horrific massacre was not the owner of the hideous electric shitbox’s intent, as much like the vegan Mainer whose “LUVTOFU” – as in “Love tofu,” not “Love to fuck you” – plate was recalled last year, it’s all a matter of perspective when interpreting the meaning behind a message jammed into 7 or 8 characters. In this case, the son of the Cybertruck owner says it means “Lolo,” the Filipino word for grandfather, “CT” for Cybertruck, and “7” as in the number of his grandchildren, and wrote as such in the DMV’s application that requires an explanation for every custom plate.

To this author that’s 100 percent believable, just as it’s also completely understandably believable to a whole shit ton of people that a Cybertruck owner would mock a mass slaughter of Jews. Erring on the side of those folks’ perception is the right call for the DMV and surely the owner can get a new one that says “CTLOLO7.” That would probably be advisable for him as switching to just a regular random plate might make him look guiltier to neighbors unaware of his real intent with “LOLOCT7.”

In a recent exchange with a New York Times reporter present, 45 year-old white MAGAmerican Sky Atkins assured his undocumented Mexican immigrant son-in-law, 33 year-old Jaime Cachua, that even though all the illegals need to be deported, Sky would somehow stop the new Trump Regime from deporting the father of two of his two grandchildren. “Nobody’s putting you on a bus unless they get by me,” Sky told Jaime, a DACA recipient who has lived in Rome, Georgia since he was 3 years old and speaks “rusty” Spanish in a thick Southern drawl, has never committed a crime in his life, has a decent job in customer service at a local car dealer. Oh and he’s got a younger, natural born citizen brother who’s a complete asshole and gets in trouble with the cops all the time.

“I’m not going to let anything happen that puts your family at risk,” Sky told his son-in-law. “It already did [happen],” Jaime responded, apparently unconvinced by Sky’s reassurances. “All those criminals that Trump’s been talking about – the rapists, the gang members – that’s not you. You deserve to be here. To me, you’re basically American,” Sky continued trying to cheer up the younger man.

“But I’m not,” Jaime replied, correctly. The Times’s recounting of the conversation ended there, so it’s not clear if the proud Trump supporter explained to son-in-law in detail how he would gun down every single local, state, and federal law enforcement agent that approached to prevent Jaime from getting sent to a deportation camp and then to Mexico where he has no friends or close relatives.

Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu’s regime on Sunday appealed the International Criminal Court’s warrants for the arrest of himself and former Defense Minister Yoav Gallant over their genocidal bombing campaign against the Gaza Strip that has cost nearly 45,000 lives, NBC News reports.

Not clear is why “Bibi” would move in a way that makes it clear he’s recognizing the legitimacy of the warrants. If they were fake bullshit from an imaginary court of globalist libtards then he should be simply ignoring them as such. While it doesn’t mean that he would be sent to the Hague by the government now, is he so sure that wouldn’t happen under the next prime minister? Whoever it is, “Bibi” may’ve just handed them political ammuo to put him on a one-way flight to the Netherlands.

Vice President Kamala Harris is considering following in the footsteps of one of her predecessors, Richard Nixon, in pursuing the governorship of California two years after losing the presidential election, CNN reports. The differences are that Donald Trump is not John F Kennedy, Harris would be extremely unlikely to lose the general election, and even if she did she would (probably) not tell the press they “won’t have Kamala to kick around anymore” after conceding angrily to her opponent.

pic.twitter.com/IVKeU3dqY6

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 14, 2024

Oh wait… It’s a joke about why there are so many drones flying over New Jersey. Admittedly funny, but might’ve worked even better if well, you know, that Trump himself wasn’t also like 75 lbs overweight and his bodyguard wasn’t photographed carrying literally six bags of shit from the fast food giant into a Manhattan courthouse during his October 2023 business fraud civil trial.

The other problem here is that it kind of clashes with Trump having posted “Mystery Drone sightings all over the Country. Can this really be happening without our government’s knowledge. I don’t think so! Let the public know, and now. Otherwise, shoot them down!!!” on Friday evening, which was apparently supposed to mean he’s taking the situation seriously-ish. But who are we to apply normal people thinking to the bullshit Trump says, does, and posts on his social media feeds?

The fat bastard also on Saturday announced he is “pleased to announce that I will appoint Truth Social CEO Devin Nunes as Chairman of the President’s Intelligence Advisory Board, which consists of distinguished citizens from outside of the Federal Government. While continuing his leadership of Trump Media and Technology Group, Devin will draw on his experience as former Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, and his key role in exposing the Russia, Russia, Russia Hoax, to provide me with independent assessments of the effectiveness and propriety of the US Intelligence Community’s activities. Congratulations Devin,” lol. That’s how you fail upwards, Dev.

A quarter of respondents to the University of Michigan’s monthly national economic survey this week said they’re stocking up on appliances, computer parts, electronics, and other durable goods in anticipation of prices getting jacked up due to convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s planned tariffs on foreign manufactured items, a development the Wall Street Journal reports is itself part of the reason why the Consumer Price Index posted a slight increase to 2.7 percent in November.

“If the run is big enough and the shortage is big enough,” a retailer will have to raise prices, said Columbia University economics Professor Harrison Hong of the current wave of spending now to not spend even more if and when the fat fuck unilaterally raises prices. “People can make a judgment that, ‘Well I thought I was going to buy a TV in the next 12 months. Maybe I should buy it in the next 12 weeks,’” said Johns Hopkins University economist Robert Barbera on (some) consumers’ thinking.

“The notion that you think prices are on a particular trajectory plays elementally in your decision about how to raise your prices, or what your wage demands are,” Barbera added, referring to retailers, who may as well pad in a few extra bucks for themselves if this is happening anyway.

Sources tell the Washington Post that convicted felon President-Elect Trump is looking at privatizing the US Postal Service, complaining that a system whose founding predates the Declaration of Independence itself operates at a loss and that the government shouldn’t be subsidizing it anymore, the Washington Post reports on more of the usual scams that threaten to fuck up everything.

“The government is slow, slow, slow – decades slow on adopting new ways of doing things, and there’s a lot of [other] carrier services that became legal in the ’70s that are doing things so much better with increased volumes and reduced costs,” said Casey Mulligan, one of the first Trump Admin’s economic advisors. “We didn’t finish the job in the first term, but we should finish it now.”

“Attempts to privatize one of the most prominent parts of the federal government could spark a political backlash, especially for Republicans representing rural districts that the agency disproportionately serves,” the Post writes as if the tobacco road hillbillies who rely on medications delivered by mail wouldn’t quickly find some way to conclude that no, it’s actually awesome that all those socialist scumbag postal workers have to get real jobs because America First.

While privatizing USPS is probably impossible for Trump to do unilaterally, he can just fuck them over by blocking loans from the Treasury, just like he blocked emergency funding during the COVID-19 pandemic and the 2020 election because he didn’t want them delivering mail-in ballots on time.

Members of South Korea’s National Assembly on Saturday passed an impeachment resolution against right wing President Yoon Suk Seol on their second go against him in as many weeks, following his December 3rd martial law declaration that was quickly overturned, the AP reports.

The 204 – 85 vote included just over a dozen members of Yoon’s People Power Party that had flipped from a full boycott on the second go after intensifying protests against the failed president.

Prime Minister Han Duck-Soo will take over as president until Yoon is either acquitted or removed.

• Shockingly backtracking on a campaign promise, the elected rapist now says lowering consumer prices will be “very hard” and might not be possible.  Well, no fucking duh.  It’s even harder when you start a trade war, ya numbnut.
• Kimberly Giulfoyle’s going to be the US Ambassador to Greece, a country she once described as “freeloaders,” because there’s not enough plastic surgery to stop someone from being a prototypical “ugly American” overseas.
• It’s time to implement a Presidential Runoff Election in states.  Take it down to two candidates for the November race.  It won’t impact the Constitution’s Electoral College, but eliminating all but the top two candidates from the final presidential ballot on the state level will ensure the leader of the nation gets the support of voters and it’s not decided by third-party cast-offs and other clowns who effectively only erode votes.  (It’s also the best way to get a third-party candidate on the final ballot in some states like Oregon and Vermont.)
• With Pete Hegseth at the helm, the victims of the 35,000 rapes that happen in the military each year can be assured their attackers will never have to face justice.  The ranks reflect its leadership.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCIV”

A Florida federal judge on Friday ordered convicted felon President-Elect Trump to sit for a deposition next week in his moronic defamation lawsuit against ABC News and anchor George Stephanopoulos – filed because Stephanopoulos stated on air that a judge found that Trump had raped EJ Carroll… which actually happened. SDNY Judge Lewis Kaplan ruled that last year.

“The Republican Party will use its best efforts to eliminate Daylight Saving Time, which has a small but strong constituency, but shouldn’t! Daylight Saving Time is inconvenient, and very costly to our Nation,” wrote convicted felon President-Elect Trump in a Friday Truth Social post.

Very fair to question whether he understands what the fuck he’s talking about, as in does he even know DST is not currently in effect and won’t be until March? Congress came very damn close to making DST year-round in 2021, but Nancy Pelosi squashed the bill after it passed the Senate unanimously in some weird fluke. When people say they want to end DST usually what they’re really bitching about is having to wake up an hour earlier in the spring and the sun abruptly going down an hour earlier in November – and then as early as 3:45 PM on the winter solstice in the northeastern corners of each time zone. If they’re sick of that then they should want year-round Daylight Saving Time, not standard time. Somebody ought to clarify this to Trump, and if he follows through then for maybe the third time in his entire political career we’ll give him unqualified credit for something.

Philadelphia centenarians Marjorie Fiterman, 102, and Bernie Littman, 100, who met at what was surely a rager of a costume party in their assisted living facility in 2015, made it even more official and got hitched in April. Only now is it making national news via Scripps as the Guinness Book of World Records this month certified the two as the oldest known couple to get married ever.

Both are University of Pennsylvania alums and quite possibly crossed paths on campus in the 1940s, the article mentions, but neither recalls having ever interacted. Scripps also reports the two were previously married to others but missing is any mention of children as in is it awkward for their septuagenarian sons and/or daughters to suddenly have step-siblings they think are weird.