Not-100-percent-reliable Trump chronicler Michael Wolff tells the Daily Beast that notorious dead sex trafficker showed him photos of the convicted felon former president with topless young girls sitting on his lap that were taken at Epstein’s Palm Beach mansion some time in the late 1990s.

“They were with Trump at Epstein’s Palm Beach house sitting around the pool with these young girls, and the young girls are topless. And in some of the pictures, they’re sitting in his lap. I mean, and, and then there’s one I especially remember where there’s a stain, a telltale stain and on the front of Trump’s pants, and the girls are pointing at him and laughing,” Wolff said from his recollection, also claiming that the FBI under Bill Barr seized the photos out of Epstein’s kompromat safe in 2019.

Wolff seems to inhabit some liminal space where like everything he claims feels true but it’s just kind of, um, iffy. But Trump getting slandered (if it is slander) like this couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Fani Willis knows what she’s doing when it comes to RICO cases.  In the longest-running criminal trial in the state, the Fulton County District Attorney secured a guilty plea from rapper Young Thug, a week after three of his co-defendants agreed to plea deals last week, NBC News reports.

Young Thug–real name: Jeffery Lamar Williams–was indicted on a 56-count RICO indictment that originally named 27 co-defendants for their roles in the operation of the Young Slime Life, or YSL, street gang.  Jury selection in Williams’ trial started in January 2023.

The RICO charges and prosecution are constructed in a similar way to the charges facing Republican standard-bearer and past/future election denier Donald Trump and 18 co-defendants.  To date, Willis has secured guilty pleas from four of the co-defendants.

Right wing newspaper-ish um media outlet the Washington Examiner reports that Team MAGA are starting to piss their pants over lagging male turnout in key swing states, citing tweets by small-faced get-out-the-vote expert Charlie Kirk and other right wing propagandist Mike Cernovich.

“Supporters of former President Donald Trump have largely been optimistic [Are you fucking serious? ‘Optimistic’? Lol, the whole MAGAverse has been acting like he’s already won for months now] about his chances to take back the White House, but with less than a week before Election Day, some are raising the red flag over early voting data,” the Examiner writes of the about-face.

Christ… On paper it wasn’t the worst idea and it still yet may work. Activating low-propensity male voters in the Rogan-crypto-MMA-incel-masturbator set would probably have run up the score against Joe Biden. It may prove decisive on Election Day. It also required competence and execution which – look, we’re not the ones saying this, the Examiner and Kirk are – does not appear to have actually been effected in the early vote phase here and now it looks like it’s Tuesday or nothing.

Addressing a skeptical Maria Bartiromo on Thursday about why this time will be different when MAGA voters were disappointed after promises of a Red Wave in 2022, Jesus Dork Speaker of the House did pretty much nothing that would actually allay that skepticism, just trying to assure the crazy hag that they’ll kick some ass because Trump is on the ballot and people love him and so on.

A new set of swing state surveys by CNN/SSRS finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 48 to 47 percent among likely voters in North Carolina while in Georgia the same numbers are flipped and Trump leads 48 to 47 among LVs in the Peach State.

“Lyin’ Kamala is giving a News Conference now, saying that I want to end the Affordable Care Act. I never mentioned doing that, never even thought about such a thing,” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Thursday. The rant went on for longer but we kind of had to stop him right there because the fat fuck is either forgetting (entirely possible given the grave state of his physical and mental health) or outright lying that he tried and failed to repeal the Affordable Care Act in 2017.

Actually what would be even funnier is if he thinks the Affordable Care Act and its better known media sobriquet “Obamacare” are two completely different things. Can’t rule that out here.

“Just watched Kamala’s Fake News Conference – ALL LIES! She is desperate but, more importantly, she looks totally EXHAUSTED! She should rest now, and leave the Campaigning to me!” the fat fuck wrote in a later post. LOL at the “leave the Campaigning to me!” Sounds like a confident winner.

🔥🔥🔥 WOW! You see what Fox News anchor Bill Hemmer just did?!? Liberal Foxy Jessica Tarlov was droning on and on about how President Trump said “I’m going to do it whether the women like it or not. I am going to protect them,” and how it was bad for his campaign and Hemmer just TOTALLY SHUT HER DOWN by saying it was “taken out of context”! HELLO 911? I’D LIKE TO REPORT A RHETORICAL MURDER! Completely destroyed her for trying to say it would hurt him with women voters! CONTEXT 1, WOMEN VOTERS 0! FATALITY! FLAWLESS VICTORY! AMERICA WINS! 🔥🔥🔥

Rapper Cardi B will take the stage with Vice President Kamala Harris at a Friday rally in Milwaukee, CNN’s Elizabeth Wagmeister reports, noting that Cardi had backed away from endorsing Joe Biden earlier this year because, in her words “I don’t fuck with both y’all.”

Still waiting for the Taylor Swift campaign stop. Not that it’ll do much if anything one way or another at this point, but it’d still be nice as a little “fuck you” to Charlie Kirk, Ben Shapiro, and the rest of those tickledicks who spent countless hours of airtime sweating it this year.

“We caught them CHEATING BIG in Pennsylvania. Must announce and PROSECUTE, NOW! This is a CRIMINAL VIOLATION OF THE LAW. STOP VOTER FRAUD! CHECK OUT KAMALA’S NEW SLEAZEBAG LAWYER. WE ARE ON THEM ALL THIS TIME! Who would have ever thought that our Country is so CORRUPT?” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Thursday, once again declining to explain what the fuck he’s talking about when he says he and his team (?) “caught them.”

NEW AD: The Creature from the Orange Lagoon#HappyHalloween pic.twitter.com/Ff5gm3D8iT

— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) October 31, 2024

Beaming with pride and joy right now to see the Harris campaign finally use “Orange” (if it’s come up before we must’ve missed it). All the freaking thousands of times we used it in one way or another to refer to the fat bastard or his campaign and – not taking credit for this or anything – they’re finally using it themselves to mock the demented old slob and his fascist aspirations.

Philadelphia District Attorney Larry Krasner on Thursday asked a judge to hold Elon Musk in contempt of court after he fucked off from an initial hearing in the DA’s case against him over the $1 million lottery scam, Reuters reports, without mentioning any statement from Musk yet.

Finance bro Adam Turnquist tells Politico that the S&P 500’s recent gains strongly indicate that Vice President Kamala Harris will defeat convicted felon former President Trump next week, based on past patterns in which a climb favored the incumbent party 20 of the last 24 elections.

“The market’s making a call for Harris to win,” said Turnquist, chief technical strategist at the financial services company LPL Financial. “When there’s more certainty about the incumbent party winning the White House, we know for the most part the policies they’ve [installed]. There’s just a level of comfort that the market has with that certainty.” Turnquist points to the 2.3 percent drop ahead of the 2016 election that signaled a Trump win against both Hillary Clinton’s email server and Hillary herself. “You were laughed at for even thinking about it. But the market was right.”

The article then quotes from skeptics who say that it doesn’t matter because the S&P also climbed ahead of Trump’s defeat in 2020 and that the divided electorate isn’t as something something the stock market. And Trump spokesanimal Karoline Leavitt had her whole spiel that the Orange Jesus is dominating and blah blah blah. She didn’t however try the old “investors are pricing in a Trump win and that’s why the market is up” as apparently that line of horseshit is even too ridiculous for her.

“Full-size candy bars are the holy grail of Halloween. For many trick-or-treaters, they are seen as the ultimate bounty – a proper, grown-up Snickers or Milky Way with which to mock less-fortunate peers before engorgement. For those giving out the candy, they offer a not-so-subtle way to outdo the neighbors – Halloween as potlatch. The house with the full-size bars is the best house on the block.”

“Though tempting, the practice is wrong-headed. Giving out full-size candy bars misses the point of Halloween. Here’s why,” says the lede to an Atlantic piece by staff writer Ian Bogost, published in 2017 but for some reason given a reprint on the site Thursday, on Halloween 2024.

Bogost’s last three pieces were titled “A Defense of the Leaf Blower: Reassessing America’s most hated appliance,” “A Calculator’s Most Important Button Has Been Removed: This is clearly a mistake,” “Please Don’t Make Me Download Another App: Our phones are being overrun.”

It’s not clear if Bogost is doing this on purpose, like it’s all an act and the majority of readers are in on the joke. We’re going to lean toward no because he’s been writing this shit for a while – and it’s kind of the Atlantic’s entire brand outside of the unquestionably solid political analysis and other matters of actual import – and nobody seems to notice this grating “Here’s why” schtick.

Edgelord MAGA billionaire Elon Musk on Thursday made a bid to get the Philly DA’s case against him over the $1 million lottery scam moved to federal court, CNBC reports .

From 'deplorables' to 'Nazis' to 'garbage,' Democrats embrace insults, intolerance in the Trump era https://t.co/grKWFioe8V

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) October 31, 2024

Kicked off the 2024 ballot in the Keystone State, Russian asset Cornel West on Wednesday petitioned the US Supreme Court to force polling precincts in Pennsylvania to post signs advertising him as an option as a write-in candidate, USA Today reports on more temerity from this cocksucker.

The petition lists Philly lawyer Matthew Haverstick as the counsel of record and – hope you’re sitting down because you will be so not shocked it’s actually kind of shocking – Haverstick is also repping Elon Musk in DA Larry Krasner’s complaint over the $1 million lottery giveaway scam. It also appears he was an intervenor counsel sent by the RNC to defend Republican Westmoreland County Commissioner Doug Chew in a Dem lawsuit last month over the ridiculous rule that mail-in ballots have the date written on the outside of the envelope and whether missing dates could be cured.

The other guy, former Michigan Solicitor General John Bursch, is listed as “senior counsel and vice president of appellate advocacy with Alliance Defending Freedom” on their website. A look at the ADF’s Twitter page and who follows them – The Patriot Voice, Moms for Liberty, Karoline Leavitt, Jenna Ellis, Anthony Sabatini – tells us all we need to know about why he’s on Team Cornel too.

A new set of swing state surveys from UMass-Lowell and YouGov finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 49 to 45 percent in Michigan and 48 to 47 percent in Pennsylvania while Trump leads Harris 47 to 45 percent in North Carolina.

Separately a Washington Post Michigan survey finds Harris leading Trump 47 to 46 percent.

“Why is the Democratic governor of Michigan writing an op-ed in Fox News? Well, I want to share some personal things about myself that you may not know and that we may have in common. As American women, we have the power to change the outcome of the upcoming election for our daughters. I was raised in a bipartisan household. My dad served in Republican Gov George Romney’s (yes, Mitt’s dad) cabinet, and my mom worked for the Democratic attorney general.”

“At the dinner table, they encouraged my siblings and me to share our opinions and disagree without being disagreeable. That skill served me well in the Michigan Legislature, where I was in the minority the entire time. You may not know I was sexually assaulted in college. I didn’t talk much about it for a long time. Years later, someone said to me, ‘We are all like a lump of clay. When it’s hollowed out, it becomes a cup.’ When something is taken from you, what’s left behind can have a purpose,” writes Big Gretch on FoxNews.com, and we’re less intrigued by the question of why she wrote it than why Fox actually printed it. Is this some kind of a token paean to being “Fair and Balanced”?