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Debate loser celebrates big win

“Wow! Just announced that ABC television ratings plummeted after David Muir’s disastrous debate performance. As accurately stated in the New York Post, ‘ABC debate disaster already punishing ratings, because America is sick of Journalists lies'” posted convicted felon former President Trump late Saturday, of course not actually linking who “announced” the rating decline.

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Cowardly Cantaloupe refuses second public humiliation

Snuck into the rants about immigrants and hyperbolic recitations of his single term in office during his lowly-attended North Carolina rally, Republican presidential candidate and convicted felon Donald Trump declined a second debate with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, claiming that it was “too late,” Yahoo News reports.

After Harris accepted CNN’s invitation for an October debate on Saturday, Trump said, “The problem with another debate is that it’s just too late.  Voting has already started,” he told the crowd. “She had her chance to do it with Fox.”  Fox offered to host a debate between the two, but Harris refused the invitation from a cable network that had to pay a $787.5 million defamation settlement for lies it knowingly broadcast in support Trump’s election conspiracy.

 

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Crafty, cowering, timorous beast breaks man’s dominion o’sky

O, what a panic was in the breast of both man and mouse with dominion broken! Quaking and hapless cattle aflight, changing course with rattle and fright! Burns nor passenger foresaw such surprise, a wee creature scurried out of a boxed meal ‘fore her eyes! The best-laid schemes go oft awry, sometimes shit happens whilst confined in the sky, yet ne’er a mouse’ve scurried so high!

Anyway, yeah that’s what happened, per the BBC, who report that a Scandinavian Airlines flight from Oslo, Norway to Malaga, Spain was diverted to Copenhagen, Denmark on Wednesday when mouse jumped out of a passenger’s boxed meal and scurried away so hasty. The best laid plans and all.

The passengers had to get on a different plane because the company was worried that the little bastard could chew into the wires. “This is something that happens extremely rarely,” SAS spokesman Oystein Schmidt Schmidt said. “We have established procedures for such situations, which also include a review with our suppliers to ensure this does not happen again.” Note how he didn’t say “We’re going to fire these fucking assholes for letting a live mouse get into a boxed meal.”

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Remember that “Proud Patriots” merch site we used to mock?

Feels like it’s been a while since we highlighted any products from “Proud Patriots” or similar MAGA fan merchandise sites. Maybe drifting away from relying on shit like “The Trumpinator Bobblehead” and the “Never Surrender Limited Edition Trading Card” for content is a sign that there’s only so much mileage in the fucking garbage collectibles being hawked to the fanboys. It’s true that a few months ago we did pick up $149 “gold Never Surrender plates”, but that article was more about the deepfake video of Trump telling his fans that the plates could be redeemed for $10,000 cash each at any bank branch – if he wins the election (That’ll probably directly cause bloodshed either way).

The most common threads in the comments under all our articles on the gold coins and collector’s plates and all sorts of other shit was either that (A) readers mistakenly believed that Trump himself was the one hawking this garbage or (B) more often they understood it wasn’t “licensed” (there is no “licensing” required for these things as Trump is a public figure and his likeness and name aren’t copyrighted) and got a laugh out of the fact that these dogshit operations were making money selling worthless collector’s coins and stuff to Trump’s fanboys and he wasn’t seeing a dime of it.

About that…

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Orange Felon seems to be seriously panicking about women voters

“Women are poorer than they were four years ago, are less healthy than they were four years ago, are less safe on the streets than they were four years ago, are more depressed and unhappy than they were four years ago, and are less optimistic and confident in the future than they were four years ago! I will fix all of that, and fast, and at long last this national nightmare will be over.”

“Women will be happy, healthy, confident, and free! You will no longer be thinking about abortion, because it is now where it always had to be, with the states, and a vote of the people – and with powerful exceptions, like those that Ronald Reagan insisted on, for rape, incest, and the life of the mother – but not allowing for Democrat-demanded late-term abortion in the 7th, 8th, or 9th month, or even execution of a baby after birth. I will protect women at a level never seen before.”

“They will finally be healthy, hopeful, safe, and secure. Their lives will be happy, beautiful, and great again!” posted convicted felon former President Trump late Friday… in all-caps but we had Google Gemini print it back out in normal people text. Donald appeared to be having a manic episode about the female vote, possibly due to his internal polls showing a massive, historic gender gap… Or Vice President Kamala Harris’s Friday speech in Georgia ripping “Trump abortion bans.” Probably both.

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Random thoughts Friday, Volume CXCII

  • The “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT” is the, stupidest, most imbecilic, most telling political statement Trump has ever made.  
  • It’s not easy making the Harris campaign appear seamless, but one of the graces is a pair of candidates who easily roll with the situation.  They know what they want to say; not what the audience wants to hear. And they do it happily and with conviction (not convictions).
  • In the 1970s, it was Vietnamese refugees.  In the ‘80s, it was the people who fled the Castro regime. The ‘90s: Ethiopians.  In the ‘00s, the people fleeing the war in Iraq and Afghanistan we started.  Xenophobic rumors about refugees are not new.
  • Dems need to loudly respond to Trump’s idiotic tariff as a consumer tax plan to raise prices, constantly noting that the last time he fought a trade war, he spent tens of billions of dollars in subsidies for impacted US industries and STILL the trade deficit went up nearly 20% before the pandemic.  It was bad policy then; it’s bad policy now.
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Parnas trolls The Troll

In case you missed the torrent of advertising, MSNBC debuted on Friday a new Maddow-produced documentary about Lev Parnas’s role in the effort to smear Hunter Biden to promote Donald Trump’s re-election bid.  Frequently mentioned is former The Hill shill and disgraced writer John Solomon, who played an integral role in disseminating misinformation.

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Well done suicide: Houston area residents return home after intense pipeline fire caused by car accident extinguished

After nearly four days, an intense gas pipeline fire was finally extinguished late Thursday night, allowing people in Deer Park, Texas to return to their residences and businesses on Friday, NBC News reports.  Fire rescue crews reported finding a car with human remains at the site of the fire near the La Porte community.

“This has developed into a criminal investigation and will be actively ongoing,” city officials said in a statement.  The fire started late Monday morning, shooting flames hundreds of feet into the sky, forcing the evacuation of more than 1,000 residences and businesses.

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Someone accesses minisoldr account, deletes comments

Some rascal accessed the online commenting accounts for the user “minisoldr,” the alleged name used by GOP North Carolina gubernatorial candidate and man who makes Rick James look like a regular freak Mark Robinson, and deleted some of the most outlandish comments from years ago, Politico reports.

The comments on “Nude Africa” for minisoldr’s account were deleted, but the account remains.  The name listed on the account:  Mark Robinson.  It was on that account that minisoldr expressed his fetish for trans porn, noted that he would welcome the return of slavery, and said themselves a “Black NAZI.”  It should be noted that from the pulpit as a preacher and his office as Lt. Governor, Robinson has condemned and mocked… well, pretty much everybody.

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Robinson’s “Nude Africa” posts deleted within last 24 hours

Oh man, North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson has truly outwitted his enemies: Politico reports that all the posts attributed to him on the site “Nude Africa” have suddenly been deleted! He’s completely escaped from accountability for his sick posts because the journalists who tracked them down were too stupid to take screenshots or archive the pages… Lol. Politico writes that the user profile “mark robinson” remains on the site, however. What’s funniest about that part is that he had to have either remembered the password from 12 years ago or it’s still his browser’s autocomplete.

“It’s unclear why the posts were deleted after the CNN story published. A spokesperson for Robinson did not immediately respond to a question about whether Big Mark deleted the posts, or if the campaign asked for them to be taken down. The website is currently restricted to members with an account,” Politico writes in the story. Also funny is complete douchebag NRCC chair and North Carolina Congressman Richard Hudson quoted saying Robinson “needs to assure the people of the state with a little more detail that they aren’t true.” Probably harder if “someone” deleted them.

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Orange Pharaoh has no plans to undorse Mark Robinson: report

Sources tell NBC News that convicted felon former President Trump does not plan to pull his endorsement of obese porn freak North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson in the Tar Heel State’s gubernatorial race, despite calls from both within his campaign team and from Republicans such as both of the state’s senators, Thom Tillis and Ted Budd, not to mention other native son, Trump’s own handpicked GOP chairman Mike Whatley, to undorse Señor “Black NAZI” immediately.

“The problem with it is, while he may feel like that might be a smart move – and I don’t know that he does – there’s no way in hell he’s going to risk the base, which will go furious,” one Trump minion told NBC, adding the Orange Slob may instead make a statement “disavowing” Big Mark’s “actions.”

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McDonald’s expert implores media to cover important issue

“How bad is it when a Candidate running for Office makes a major part of her Campaign that she works at McDonald’s, and it turns out not to be true, but the worst part is the Media refuses to talk about it!” posted convicted felon former President Trump, still raging over the Golden Arches.

“I saved Flavored Vaping in 2019, and it greatly helped people get off smoking. I raised the age to 21, keeping it away from the ‘kids.’ Kamala and Joe want everything banned, killing small businesses all over the Country. I’ll save Vaping again!” he also posted and that’s verifiably false.

The National Library of Medicine – a federal agency – says “At the beginning of 2020, the FDA initiated a temporary enforcement policy that banned the sale of all capsule-based e-cigarettes with flavors other than tobacco or menthol but did not apply the flavor restrictions to disposable or open-systems e-cigarettes (ie, those with a chamber that users can fill with the e-liquid of their choice).”

There’s still some litigation ongoing but it is beyond dispute that Trump’s Administration initiated the ban on flavored vape cartridges. He also reportedly screamed “I should never have done that fucking vaping thing,” to HHS Secretary Alex Azar when worried about losing the 2020 election.

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Pete Buttigieg playing Jaydee in Tim Walz’s debate prep sessions

Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg is playing JD Vance in Minnesota Governor Tim Walz’s vice presidential debate prep sessions, ABC News reports on both an interesting and smart choice to inhabit the role of the assclown-ish fascist wannabe Ohio senator and Mike Pence replacement.

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JD was sick but still doesn’t want to comment on Mark Robinson

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MAGAmerican killed by Russian soldiers who thought he was a spy

Prosecutors in Russia have determined that American Kremlin fanboy and Sputnik employee Russell Bentley, who went missing in the occupied Donbass region of Ukraine on April 8th, was tortured to death by Russian soldiers who probably mistook him for a US spy, Reuters reports.

The report on Bentley’s disappearance, compiled by the state Investigative Committee, recommended the three be prosecuted for what had to be a gruesome and excruciating death, before two of them put his remains in a car and blown it up. Then a fourth soldier was ordered the next day to move Bentley’s remains to another location in an attempt to conceal the crime.

The soldiers are expected to face trial on charges ranging from exceeding their authority, using physical violence and torture, and causing death by negligence, to attempted concealment of a serious crime. Probably a good chance they’ll be convicted and sent to some remote gulag for the crime, as the Kremlin no doubt doesn’t want other JD Vance and Tucker Carlson fans to be deterred from defecting to serve Tsar Vladimir’s regime in whatever capacity they can.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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