“An interview by Tucker Carlson of an election expert indicates that 20 percent of the Mail-In Ballots in Pennsylvania are fraudulent. Here we go again! Where is the US Attorney General and FBI to INVESTIGATE? Where is the Pennsylvania Republican Party? We will WIN Pennsylvania by a lot, unless the Dems are allowed to CHEAT. THE RNC MUST ACTIVATE, NOW!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Sunday, apparently getting more anxious than his fanboys this early on.
Both the American film and retail industries are trying to prepare for civil unrest before, during, and after election day by shuffling things around. In Tinseltown, a Hollywood Reporter story says studios are largely skipping the normally lucrative first and second weekends of November in order to avoid having to shell out more for TV spots whose prices are being driven up by political ad spending.
And then there’s that pesky “violence” thing too. “Notably, 2024 seems different and given the incredibly high stakes and high-profile nature of this year’s presidential contest, it looks like the major studios are erring on the side of caution rather than risking the oxygen-sucking dominance of what is likely to be the most intense post-election weekend in modern history,” says veteran box office analysis egghead Paul Dergerabedian. “Waiting to see if politically distracted news cycle obsessed moviegoers will vote with their absence at the multiplex over this specific November weekend is a box office gamble most are not willing to take this year,” he continued, noting that this is really the first time in Hollywood’s history this happened. “The box office has never been impacted by the election, but this is a whole new level. It’s going to be such a shitshow,” said one exec.
The retail industry is similarly bracing for shit to get real, as Axios reports stores are offering up early holiday deals well ahead of the season to drive up sales now. “The uncertainty around election results may slow down shopping around that time and that could be one reason why retailers started to offer holiday deals early,” said George Mason University professor Mehmet Altug.
Axios didn’t really elaborate on potential reasons why partisans might buy less shit this year, but it’s not hard to imagine one side or the other being too scared and depressed to want to spend.
“Birdbrain” was awfully frustrated on Sunday trying to sell voters on the whole “Trump is the lesser of two evils” song-and-dance with CBS’s Margaret Brennan, having to deal with questions about Donald’s batshit press conference and Jaydee’s continued insane rants about childless women.
“Western Gulf of Mexico (AL91): Showers and thunderstorms have increased this morning in association with a broad area of low pressure located over the southwestern Gulf of Mexico. This system is forecast to drift slowly northwestward during the next couple of days, and environmental conditions are expected to become conducive for additional development. A tropical depression is likely to form during the next couple of days as the system moves generally northwestward and then northward near or along the Gulf coast of Mexico and Texas through the middle of the week.”
“Interests along the western and northwestern Gulf Coast should closely monitor the progress of this system. Watches could be required for portions of the coast later today or tonight. An Air Force Reserve Hurricane Hunter aircraft is also scheduled to investigate the system later today,” says a National Hurricane Center bulletin putting the chances of formation into a named storm at 80 percent in the next 24 hours and 90 percent in the next 7 days. Well that definitely sucks for Texas.
“Central Tropical Atlantic (AL92): Showers and thunderstorms associated with an elongated area of low pressure over the central tropical Atlantic continue to show signs of organization. Environmental conditions appear conducive for additional development of this system, and a tropical depression could form while the system meanders over the central tropical Atlantic through Monday and then begins to move generally westward at around 10 mph through the rest of the week,” the bulletin continued, putting the chances of formation at 40 percent in 24 hours, 60 percent in 7 days.
MAGA Senator Tom Cotton on Sunday at least three times said “a few memes and videos aren’t going to make the difference” in the election in response to CNN’s Dana Bash’s questions about his party’s propagandists being exposed as paid agents of the Kremlin. At the same time he thinks some bullshit about Hunter’s laptop made the difference in 2020, so yeah he sucked in this interview.
A new set of Blue Wall surveys by CBS News/YouGov finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 50 to 49 percent in Michigan, 50 to 48 percent in Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania tied at 50-50, all of these samples likely voters, raining on the celebratory circlejerk by horseracers and MAGAmericans thrilled by the Times national poll showing Trump up 1.
Venezuelan dictator Nicholas Maduro has pretty much officially Stopped the Steal as opposition candidate Edmundo Gonzalez has fled the country for political asylum in Spain, the BBC reports.
A Spanish Air Force jet departed Caracas late Saturday night after Gonzalez had spent the last several days hiding in the embassy. Maduro’s Regime allowed the legitimate winner of this year’s election safe passage to the airport despite having issued an arrest warrant. State security forces have also surrounded the Argentinian embassy where six allies of Gonzalez are holed up, with Maduro propagandists claiming terrorist attacks on the regime are being plotted within.
“CEASE & DESIST: I, together with many Attorneys and Legal Scholars, am watching the Sanctity of the 2024 Presidential Election very closely because I know, better than most, the rampant Cheating and Skullduggery that has taken place by the Democrats in the 2020 Presidential Election.”
“It was a Disgrace to our Nation! Therefore, the 2024 Election, where Votes have just started being cast, will be under the closest professional scrutiny and, WHEN I WIN, those people that CHEATED will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law, which will include long term prison sentences so that this Depravity of Justice does not happen again. We cannot let our Country further devolve into a Third World Nation, AND WE WON’T! Please beware that this legal exposure extends to Lawyers, Political Operatives, Donors, Illegal Voters, & Corrupt Election Officials. Those involved in unscrupulous behavior will be sought out, caught, and prosecuted at levels, unfortunately, never seen before in our Country,” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Saturday.
Traffic has finally returned to Interstate 75 in Laurel County, Kentucky after the highway was shut down for hours because another angry white man with a gun decided to take his frustration out on society. The cause of the tie-up is still at large after shooting an unknown number of victims, WKYT in Lexington reports.
Unconfirmed radio traffic from police responding to the search reveals the suspect, 32-year-old white male Joseph Couch, purchased an AR-15 and 2,000 rounds of ammunition Saturday morning, hours before the shooting started.
Republican effort at diversity and GOP nominee for North Carolina Governor Mark Robinson reportedly said at a campaign event that he would support a “zero” week abortion ban, NBC News reports.
Asked if he supported the state’s current 12-week abortion ban, Robinson responded on a recording of a September 3rd event, “That 12 weeks, exceptions for rape and incest … I’m not going to say it’s reasonable. But my faith allows me to live with that, because that’s where the consensus is. Do I want to continue to lower it? You better know it. I would love to get down to six weeks. And I’d like to get down to zero. I would like to push it back as far as we could and eliminate as many abortions as we can.”
Robinson then went on to push a “zero week” ban as a goal of the anti-choice movement. “We can’t do it all at once. The Democrats started off with Roe v. Wade, then moved to ‘safe, legal, and rare.’ Then they got to where? Nine months in the womb. They did that over 50 years. … And we can do it.”
You’ve come back from your Labor Day vacation to find a new resident moved into the rental down the street. He’s not really new to the neighborhood, though: your buddy next door told you he lived here a few years back but had to move out after he lost his job.
Most days, he seems friendly enough, waving to people as they walk by. He’s not so much waving to them, though. More like waving at them: he’s just standing in his front door waving, and if you happen to pass by, so be it. When you’re walking the dog, you wave back out of an unstated neighborly obligation. He calls it his personal “community review” everyone produces specifically for him.
A week after he moved in, he erected a fence around the yard, something explicitly against your HOA’s rules. But he says he’s allowed to because he used to run the board, so he’s allowed. He was real popular, you see, because he cut monthly fees to practically nothing; that means he’s got special rules, he explains.
Yeah we run a lot of Trump rallies here. It’s easier than having to pick out a single clip of the fucked up and embarrassing things he says. Mediaite usually runs four or five different articles about every single public appearance the fat bastard makes. This isn’t better so much as more efficient.
Cops in Fort Myers, Florida are seeking a a man who they say stole a puppy from a local pet store and concealed it in a hoodie on Thursday, WFLA reports. The Fort Myers Police Department is asking for the public’s help in identifying the man who caught on security cam entering Pet Kingdom around 11:45 am and removing a black and grey Maltipoo (Maltese/Poodle mix) puppy.
Not for nothing, but “puppy thief” makes it sound a lot crueler even if technically accurate. Like if the puppy was stolen from a little kid that’s obviously an extremely heinous crime. But this was really just shoplifting and the asshole simply stole a product from the store, not their pet. Hell if anything he’s probably going to give it a more loving home than the store itself had been.
“No boxes or artificial lifts will be allowed to stand on during my upcoming debate with Comrade Kamala Harris. We had this out previously with former NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg when he was in a debate, and he was not allowed a ‘lift.’ It would be a form of cheating, and the Democrats cheat enough. ‘You are who you are,’ it was determined!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Saturday. We’re pretty sure fatass never actually shared a debate stage with Mike Bloomberg.
The Boeing Starliner spacecraft whose unreliability has stranded two astronauts aboard the International Space Station – until February 2025 at the earliest – landed safely and intact at White Sands Missile Range in New Mexico early Saturday, CNN reports. For all the caution being exercised with NASA astronauts Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams staying in orbit until a SpaceX mission can be launched to return them home for fear the creaky Boeing capsule could break apart on reentry, the landing was actually a milestone achievement for American spaceflight: It’s the first time a US capsule parachuted down on dry land rather than splashing down in the ocean.
NASA Commercial Crew program manager Steve Stich said an overabundance of caution played a role in Williams and Wilmore’s extended stay in orbit, but the modeling of the landing procedure left the risks unacceptably high. “Now we’ve landed a capsule in the US on land. The entry in particular has been darn near flawless, so that – I wouldn’t say it surprised me – but as I step back and think about the mission, the entry itself was just, and the deorbit burn was spot on.”
“If we’d had a model that would have predicted what we saw tonight perfectly, yeah, it looks like an easy decision to go say we could have had a crewed flight – but we didn’t have that. From a human perspective, all of us feel happy about the successful landing. But then there’s a piece of us, all of us, that we wish it would have been the way we had planned it. We had planned to have the mission land with Butch and Suni on board,” Stich continued, not exactly regretting playing it safe either.
“We have major breaking news out of New York City where, well, very abusively biased Judge Juan Merchan announced the sentencing of former President Donald J. Trump has been postponed until after the election in November,” Trump advisor Sean Hannity says on his subsidized ad for the Trump campaign.
In his annual financial disclosure, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito reported a pair of concert tickets valued at $900 from a German princess, the only gift worthy of him noting on the forms, NBC News reports. In other news: Germany still has princesses.
Filed after getting an extension, Alito’s financial forms report the concert tickets gift came from Gloria, Dowager Princess of Thurn and Taxis, a Bavarian socialite, but it doesn’t specify what concert Alito attended. Another Justice also reported getting tickets, but she proudly announced the performer: Ketanji Brown Jackson got a pair of tickets to see Beyonce, valued at $3,700.
“Dick Cheney is an irrelevant RINO, along with his daughter, who lost by the largest margin in the History of Congressional Races! They couldn’t get Scooter Libby, who did so much for them (but was so unfairly treated!), PARDONED. I did it! He’s the King of Endless, Nonsensical Wars, wasting Lives and Trillions of Dollars, just like Comrade Kamala Harris. I am the Peace President, and only I will stop World War III! What Liz Cheney did with the Unselect Committee of Political Losers is unthinkable. She and her Unselects deleted and destroyed all evidence and info – IT’S GONE.”
“Much of it proved that Nancy Pelosi was responsible for J6 – DIDN’T PROVIDE SECURITY. Cheney and the others should be prosecuted for what they did, but Comrade Kamala is even worse!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Friday, plainly annoyed that one of history’s evilest Republicans endorsed a Democrat over him, even as it does nothing to move the needle.
That said, Old Dickhead’s clearly a third domino to fall in a row: Adam Kinzinger, then Liz Cheney, then the former Veep. Even if he himself does not expand the permission structure – to not just be anti-Trump but pro-Harris – it could continue spreading to other non-MAGA Republicans. When it gets to Mitt Romney or Lisa Murkowski then yeah, that might be a real problem and certainly a bigger problem than dipshits Bobby Kennedy Jr and Tulsi Gabbard are for Kamala, lol.
Devil’s Lake in Lincoln County, Oregon is completely safe to swim in, health officials announced Friday, saying that the waters named for the King of Hell has been cleared of any danger and those immersed will not have their souls taken to the underworld, the Salem Statesman Journal reports.
Officials advised however that to stay on the safe side, folks should report if they see any foamy, scummy, thick like paint, pea-green or blue-green, or if brownish-red mats or green clumps are suspended in the water as that means their bodies may become possessed with a deadly toxin.
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