Vice President Kamala Harris has named Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate, a sort of surprising pick considering the strength of Josh Shapiro’s brand in Pennsylvania, CNN reports.

Our long national nightmare is almost over as the AP reports Vice President Kamala Harris will announce her running mate within the next few hours, thus ending the scourge of the completely made-up word “Veepstakes” from being printed again in the mainstream media for like three years.

A national Morning Consult survey’s questions asking respondents what they think of convicted felon former President Trump’s state of mental and physical health finds that, not only does he score lower than Kamala Harris – as anyone paying attention would have expected – but they actually got worse for the fat bastard than they were against Joe Biden by a small but still noticeable margin compared to the findings of their previous survey sampled just before Biden dropped out.

In the July 18 to 21 survey, on the question of is each candidate in good health, Morning Consult found 58 percent yes for Trump and 30 percent yes for Biden, on July 27-28, it was Harris 71 percent yes, Trump 52 percent yes. “Mentally fit” was Trump 53 and Biden 35, shifting to Harris 64 to Trump 48 percent. “Too old” was Biden 70, Trump 44 that flipped to Harris 12 – Trump 51.

Now-former Secret Service Director Kim Cheatle had sought to destroy the bag of cocaine found in a vestibule of the White House last summer, according to a Real Clear Politics article that tries very hard to make it nefarious that a federal law enforcement agency would dispose of evidence in an investigation they closed because they couldn’t figure out who it belonged to.

After it was determined that the white powder was cocaine and not some biological or chemical weapon agent, “the Secret Service sent the plastic bag and its contents to the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s crime laboratory for fingerprint and DNA analysis. While there were no latent fingerprints detected, the FBI lab found some DNA material, according to three sources in the Secret Service community. Several sources, citing private statements by a special agent in the Forensics Services Division who supervised the vault containing the cocaine evidence, said the agency ran the DNA material against national criminal databases and ‘got a partial hit.’ The term ‘partial hit’ is vague in this context, but in forensics lingo usually means law enforcement found DNA matching a blood relative of a finite pool of people,” the scammy conservative site’s report reads.

The lengthy article by RCP’s Susan Crabtree seems “extensively reported,” meaning that she spent the better part of a year prepping this BOMBSHELL to damage the Biden Administration going into the home stretch of what had been Joe’s reelection campaign by smearing Hunterand implicating Kim Cheatle in a “cover-up,” now she had to just quietly print it when nobody really gives a shit.

MAGA still pays Jason Miller’s salary. I don’t hear you complaining about his cooperation.https://t.co/1BL8KINX3R

— Jenna Ellis (@realJennaEllis) August 5, 2024

At least part of the whole reason Jenna Ellis flipped (now twice) was directly because the Orange God Emperor wasn’t paying her legal fees, reportedly because she had publicly backed heels-wearing Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. But Jenna didn’t get into that with Joey, she just reminded him that the abortion milkshake guy cooperated with the House January 6th Committee. Not exactly the same situation, though it’s not like that mattered to the not-particularly-bright Mannarino.

“Vice President Kamala Harris leads former President Donald Trump 53-39 percent among likely New York State voters, the first time the Siena College poll has included Harris in a horserace against Trump. In late June Trump trailed President Joe Biden by a narrower 47-39 percent. In a six-way election horserace, Harris leads Trump 49-37 percent, with seven percent for Robert F Kennedy Jr and four percent for the other three minor party candidates, according to a Siena College poll of New York State likely voters released today,” says Siena College in a press release.

More important than the presidential contest are the down-ballot NYC-area Congressional House races, where Dems took a beating in 2020 and 2022, leaving Biden-won districts stuck with “moderate” GOP tools like Mike Lawler, Marc Molinaro, Nick LaLota, and Anthony D’Esposito. If Harris can run up the score significantly in these suburbs then those dickbags will be in trouble.

The 2024 virtual roll call for the Democratic presidential nomination concluded late Monday with Vice President Kamala Harris winning 99 percent of the delegate votes (a handful of assholes went with “uncommitted”), thus making Harris the official nominee, the Associated Press reports.

Tropical Storm Debby–a hurricane when it hit shore, but downgraded as it lost power–has left a trail of damage across Florida (not that one would notice) including leaving at least five dead, and at least 100,000 people remained without power Monday night.

Perhaps thanks to the storm, someone in the Florida Keys made an unexpected discovery on a morning walk along the beach:  more than thirty kilos–roughly seventy pounds–of cocaine in 25 packages, according to a post by the head of the Border Patrol’s Florida office which featured the creative hashtag #FloridaKeys.

On top of promising–and then reneging–on a promise to contribute tens of millions of dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign each month, Elon Musk might be screwing over Donald again:  according to the Associated Press, dead-named Twitter’s new AI bot, Grok, has been providing users incorrect information about filing, registering and voting deadlines in multiple states.

In a letter to Musk, the Secretaries of State (or equivalent) from Michigan, Minnesota, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Washington noted that ballot access deadline dates for their states supplied by Grok was incorrect.  The information was also incorrect for Alabama, Indiana, Ohio and Texas, though their officials opted not to sign the letter providing correct information.  Not coincidentally, the signatories are all Democrats; the ones who opted out are all Republicans.

Thankfully, Grok is available only to those people who pay to get Musk’s “Premium” package on the platform, but unfortunately, those idiots have been sharing it on other platforms.

Japanese investors on Tuesday local time clawed back nearly all the losses from Monday’s clusterfuck as the Nikkei average soared to just short of 11 percent, a rebound following the 12 percent rout the previous day that precipitated a rough go for US indexes, Bloomberg reports.

Dow futures rose more than 400 points and blah blah blah. The “KAMALA CRASH” will have to wait.

Meet 66-year-old Frank Lucio Carillo of Winchester, Virginia, known on right-wing fringe platform GETTR as “joemadarats1,” who got doxxed in federal charging documents after he made multiple threats against presumptive Democratic Presidential candidate Kamala Harris, retiring President Joe Biden and others, per the Winchester Star.  Among Carillo’s postings was a statement that he had his “AR-15 LOCKED AND LOADED” and “Harris is going to regret ever trying to become president because if that ever happened I will personally pluck out her eyes with a pair of pliers but first I will shoot and kill everyone that gets in my way that is a fucking promise.”  As yet, he faces one charge of threatening the vice president.

Yeah, the Trump Truth social beat is getting as tiresome as he is, but it appears the fat fuck is now testing out “Kamabla” as his nickname for the existential threat he faces with 92 days to go until his fate is decided. “People vote with their STOMACH, and food is now at an all time high because of Kamabla/Biden INCOMPETENCE. With them in charge, IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE!” Trump posted.

And, no, it almost certainly was not a typo as the next one said “Kamabla has stated, over and over again, that she wants to DEFUND THE POLICE AND, WITHOUT QUESTION, BAN FRACKING. ‘NO MORE FOSSIL FUEL.’ This will quadruple the cost of energy in America! DEPRESSION ANYONE!”

Yes, this is depressing that we have to fill space with this shit while awaiting the white smoke from the Harris campaign’s running mate concave. We guess “Kamabla” is entertaining in the context of being just more of exactly what Republicans are – shocker – anonymously complaining to Politico about, with one “national strategist” saying “Democrats are racing to remake Kamala Harris from real life Selina Meyer [Julia Louis-Dreyfuss’s lead character on HBO’s Veep] into the female Obama – and Trump’s lack of discipline is letting them. Every day Trump swipes at shiny objects – attacking the popular governor of a swing state [Brian Kemp], questioning the race of his opponent, or battling cat lady comments by his VP – is a day he is letting Harris define herself on her own terms.”

The celebratory mood at the christening of a Valdosta, Georgia Trump campaign field office was marred last week when Sam Carnline an ornery “Stop the Steal” activist disrupted Republican State House member John LaHood’s face time with constituents to scream about the GOP’s “election integrity” failures, starting a melee in which MAGA Congressman Mike Collins’s top political aide Brandon Phillips ended up spitting in Carnline’s face, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports.

Cops responded but no arrests were made. “Brandon Phillips got in the middle of the conversation because he didn’t like the questions [Carnline] was asking,” said a police report the AJC obtained.

“Words were exchanged between he and Brandon, because he was upset that Brandon spit in his face,” which Phillips denied. LaHood and other witnesses claimed Carnline punched Phillips at least twice, but cops concluded it was justified because of the spitting. “I informed Brandon that he instigated the incident by spitting on Carnline,” the cop wrote in the report. “Both parties agreed to separate and go their separate ways with no further law enforcement action needed.”

“I’m proud of Brandon because Brandon didn’t lay one finger on Sam Carnline. It wasn’t a fight. This was Sam trying to be a bully,” said Republican activist Dennis Futch, adding “there’s no place for violence for either party,” to get in some bothsides-ing of this type of stupid bullshit.

“When I saw this picture on Twitter, it instantly pissed me off. Please forgive my language, but look at the price on the bottom right: $62,000. The Vice President earns a salary of $284,000 a year.”

“Kamala has never created a business. She’s never worked her butt off to become personally wealthy. No, like many in politics, she’s enriched herself from the DC Swamp so she can afford to wear necklaces that cost more than two months’ wages. This is the epitome of what the ‘elites’ in DC have been doing to families like yours and mine for decades.”

“Right now, she’s raised over $310 million to go to the White House! President Trump is the only president in my lifetime who has stood up for working families, and it’s because of this, they want to destroy him. So I’m going to ask you for $5 now to help him get elected, but I can assure you of this, your donation won’t go towards a $62,000 necklace. It won’t go to enriching the DC Swamp who hates your values. It will go towards electing the only man who can save America: Donald J Trump. So only if you can afford it, can you chip in just $5 now?” says a Trump campaign fundraising email supposedly written by JD Vance, with a subject line reading “This pic of Kamala pisses me off – It’s the epitome of what the ‘elites’ in DC have been doing to families like mine for decades.”

Yeah let’s just let this one speak for itself. Aside from pointing out the very casual and not at all emphatic accusation that Harris is embezzling from her campaign to buy fucking Tiffany jewelry that her wealthy Hollywood lawyer husband absolutely could afford, we’ll leave it off here.

Sources in the Orange God Emperor’s court seeking to excommunicate Kellyanne Conway for trying to knife JD Vance are pointing out – not inaccurately – that Conway is registered as a foreign agent for a Ukrainian oligarch who apparently is a conduit for President Volodymyr Zelensky to lobby convicted felon former President Trump to turn away from Moscow, NOTUS reports.

Zero credit to Kellyanne for doing the “right thing” here, it just so happens that it’s the good guys paying her to sabotage the ascent of Trump’s very pro-Putin running mate. “Basically, it’s a hostile takeover attempt by the Ukrainian government,” another Trump minion told NOTUS.

We’re at the point where the lede to this story can say “Donald Trump’s inner circle is seizing on the news that Kellyanne Conway has registered as a foreign agent for a Ukrainian oligarch to argue she has no loyalty to the MAGA movement,” and nobody even blinks an eye that being pro-Ukrainian is anti-MAGA, never mind that being paid by ANY foreign government is par for the course there.

“Pat Brady, 53, of Lake Forest, was sentenced today by US District Judge Kimberly Mueller to life in prison for murder in aid of racketeering, US Attorney Phillip Talbert announced. According to court documents, between 2011 and 2016, Aryan Brotherhood (AB) members and associates engaged in racketeering activity, committing multiple acts involving murder, conspiracies to murder, and drug trafficking crimes. AB members oversaw a significant heroin and methamphetamine trafficking operation from their California prison cells using smuggled cellphones to direct drug trafficking activities, order murders, and oversee other criminal activities inside and outside of the prisons.”

“According to Brady’s plea agreement, on July 28, 2018, Brady murdered an inmate at High Desert Prison as part of an AB-related killing. Brady admitted that he committed the murder because the victim falsely claimed to be an AB member and had run up a significant drug debt at his previous prison – both violations of the AB’s expected codes of conduct. Brady willfully, deliberately, and with premeditation, murdered the victim in order to maintain his status within the gang,” says a Monday Justice Department press release on “Big Pat” getting more life in prison on top of the life in prison he was already serving for… something. Probably murder. The San Jose Mercury News doesn’t say what it was in their article about the sprawling RICO case against Brady and the other Aryan Bros.

Brady’s co-defendant in the murder, Jason Corbett, whose attorney in 2019 asked the judge in the sprawling RICO case against the Brotherhood to order the state prison system to stop forcing Corbett to wear Crocs, also pleaded guilty but hasn’t been sentenced to more life yet.

Other Aryan Brotherhood RICO co-defendants William Sylvester, Brant ‘Two Scoops‘ Daniel, and Danny Troxell were convicted at trial in April, they await sentencing to more life in prison.

Chemically-balanced Fox News anchor Neil Cavuto on Monday dared point out convicted felon former President Trump’s conflicting statements on who is responsible for the stock market, risking the wrath of the Orange God Emperor and his violent, fanatical death cult by simply saying “When they are up, it is because of him. When they are down, it is because of the Democrats.”

As expected based on how it went for the very similar case against her in Georgia, former Trump 2020 campaign lawyer Jenna Ellis has reached a cooperation agreement with Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes’s office to resolve the charges filed earlier this year in the Grand Canyon State over Ellis’s participation in fat former President Trump’s failed post-2020 election coup attempt.

“Attorney General Kris Mayes today announced a cooperation agreement with a defendant in the fake electors’ case. Jenna Ellis signed the agreement earlier this morning. The State has agreed to drop the charges against Ms Ellis in exchange for her cooperation with the prosecution. ‘This agreement represents a significant step forward in our case,’ said Attorney General Mayes.”

“‘I am grateful to Ms Ellis for her cooperation with our investigation and prosecution. Her insights are invaluable and will greatly aid the State in proving its case in court. As I stated when the initial charges were announced, I will not allow American democracy to be undermined – it is far too important. Today’s announcement is a win for the rule of law.’ Ms Ellis had previously been charged with nine felonies including fraud, forgery and conspiracy. The case against the other 17 defendants remains ongoing,” said Mayes’s office in a statement. Kenny Chesebro and Sidney “Kraken” Powell, the other national Trump campaign lackeys who also reached agreements in Georgia were not among those charged in Arizona (Chesebro has since been indicted in Wisconsin however), making Ellis the only one of the coup crew publicly known to have flipped in more than one jurisdiction.

The US Supreme Court on Monday tossed dipshit Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey’s lawsuit against the state of New York over Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg successfully prosecuting disgraced former President Trump for interfering in the 2016 election by paying hush money to pornstar Stormy Daniels to keep quiet about a two minute sexual encounter from a decade earlier.

Bailey had originally wanted to go after New York for “election interference” but had to pare down the complaint to bitching about the gag order before it was unceremoniously tossed anyway. In an echo of Texas v Pennsylvania filed by other piece of shit Republican Attorney General, Texas’s Ken Paxton in 2020, the order dismissing the case was marked with “Justice Thomas and Justice Alito would grant the motion for leave to file the bill of complaint but would not grant other relief.”

Trump attacks ABC’s Rachel Scott for asking him about his racism: “You have journalists today like that one that intercepted me literally, that was like a booby trap… She doesn't know about sugar… I think my answers were good, really good” pic.twitter.com/QVGID7uKK0

— Kamala HQ (@KamalaHQ) August 5, 2024

This interview with some Zoomer fascist dickwad is extra off the rails. Trump variously said Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is the bastard child of Fidel Castro, creepily described AOC as having “spark,” said “Artificial Intelligence is not a good name for it. It sounds like Fake Intelligence,” and it’s still going on so we will update this “article” shortly.