Flipping through MAGA propaganda site articles with headlines like “Here’s Why Many Say the Ilhan Omar Assault Was Staged” – titled as such because the writer’s too much of a pussy to just say it himself – it was already obvious that they want to disown such an incompetent douchebag like Anthony Kazmierczak. Now they’ll just double down as, per the New York Post, a hazmat team determined that the substance in the syringe wielded by Kazmierczak was apple cider vinegar.

Can’t really blame them for being unable to countenance that this fucking slob was one of theirs and instead he was somehow paid by Omar to stage the “attack” – scare quotes used there because it was so lame, not that it was a false flag. Just like the filthy Q-pilled former hippie that smashed in Paul Pelosi’s skull and the trailer trash who sacked the Capitol on January 6th, they refuse to allow themselves to come to grips with who they really are: People so defunct that they think goddamned apple cider vinegar is an effective weapon against the “Somali invasion” of Minnesota.

A “bomb cyclone” – as in something that isn’t actually new but weather media needed some obnoxious, attention-grabbing name to apply to an atmospheric phenomena so here it is in the goddamned headline – could hit the US East Coast this weekend, Fox 5 WNYW reports.

Forecasters expect causing brutal wind and snow conditions possibly even worse than last weekend’s storm that dumped a shit ton of frozen precipitation and killed at least 40 people, but can’t exactly nail down just where will be hit hardest. The storm could mostly brush the outer edges of the Carolinas down south and eastern Long Island/Cape Cod in the north or it could aim directly for New York City and thus a lot of the coast on that path. Thus your sucky experience may vary.

The two Border Patrol agents who shot and killed Minneapolis nurse Alex Pretti on Saturday have been placed on administrative leave, Fox News’s Bill Melugin reports, adding that this is SOP following a shooting. Unclear is why it didn’t happen on Saturday afternoon then if it’s SOP.

Portland, Maine cops arrested nine out of about 50 anti-ICE protestors who had showed up to Senator Susan “Concern Lady” Collins’s office in the city to demand the feckless “RINO” do something about the Trump Regime’s fascist brutality being visited upon the state, CBS reports.

“The group was repeatedly told if they did not disperse, individuals would be charged with Criminal Trespass. After several warnings, many of the protesters left the building, while nine remained and asked to be arrested,” the Portland Police Department said in a statement Tuesday.

Unsurprising, non-shocking, so on and so forth that this fat bastard caveats his “people shouldn’t do this” under the predicate that Ilhan Omar has been encouraging libs to assault ICE agents.

“Hangovers and regret typically go hand in hand, especially the day after the Big Game. But not when you’ve got a free Carl’s Jr Hangover Burger in your grip. The morning after the Big Game is about more than just nursing pain from the night before, it’s about recovering from the confident game day calls that didn’t quite work out. Whether it’s a bold prediction that missed the mark, a questionable food choice, a group text boast gone wrong, or that social media post you regret, millions of fans have made tragic game day decisions. Carl’s Jr is here to help them recover from both the physical and emotional fallout,” says Carl’s Jr in yet another grating non-NFL sponsor corporate press release that can’t stop won’t stop with the “Big Game” bullshit.

Texas double murderer Charles Thompson probably has some regrets as he faces lethal injection at some point on Wednesday – the scheduled time of which the Texas Tribune did not mention in their reporting. Most would assume that first and foremost would be the fatal 1998 shooting of his ex-girlfriend Dennise Hayslip and her friend Darren Cain at Hayslip’s apartment. But maybe just as high on the list would be the way Thompson squandered the daring escape he pulled off in November 2005 just days after he was resentenced to death after getting it tossed on a technicality.

Thompson, who had managed to hang onto the defendant clothes he’d worn to the resentencing hearings, simply changed into them and confidently walked out of a Harris County jail he’d been staying at during the appearances, waved through by guards who had assumed he was an employee with the state Attorney General’s office. He then spent three days on the lam, riding a freight train to Louisiana and then mixing in with the thousands displaced by Hurricane Katrina. Where he fucked up was in Shreveport, getting drunk at a liquor store and then spotted in a phone booth outside while calling friends to ask them to wire him money so he could head north and escape to Canada.

Yeah, Thompson would have in all likelihood been caught eventually but that’s so freaking lame to get picked up like that instead of getting tackled while bolting across rooftops or cornered in an alleyway by a dozen squad cars in a full-on manhunt. That’s gotta sting worse than the needle.

Hungarian prosecutors loyal to dictator Viktor Orban on Wednesday charged Budapest Mayor Gergely Karacsony for his role in organizing and leading last June’s LGBTQ+ Pride parade that went off in defiance of the regime’s ban, CNN reports on some sour grapes and butthurt from Little Vik.

“The prosecution has filed charges and wants to impose a financial penalty on me without a court hearing, simply because we held the largest freedom march of the past decades. The fact that hundreds of thousands of people came, that you came, turned that day into an unforgettable miracle,” Karacsony said in a statement, adding “Despite every threat and every punishment, I will fight it – because when people who want to live, to love, to be happy are simply betrayed by their own country, betrayed by their government, resistance is a duty.” It’s not clear what penalties the mayor faces for his defiance of the regime’s DeSantis-like crackdown attempts.

MAGA Congressman Mark Harris is downright sick and tired of the media airing regular Americans’ economic grievances and driving a “doom and gloom” narrative but expressed confidence on Wednesday to a Fox Newsbot that voters are “on the edge of feeling” the benefits of MAGAnomics.

“Surprisingly, Mayor Jacob Frey just stated that, ‘Minneapolis does not, and will not, enforce Federal Immigration Laws.’ This is after having had a very good conversation with him. Could somebody in his inner sanctum please explain that this statement is a very serious violation of the Law, and that he is PLAYING WITH FIRE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday because nobody in his inner sanctum explained to him that courts have for decades repeatedly upheld rulings that the US government cannot coerce state and local authorities to enforce federal laws.

Which is the main argument in Minnesota’s case against the Trump regime. So expect this to appear in a filing very soon. Like within the hour, if they haven’t done it already within the last few minutes.

This week’s Economist/YouGov national survey finds just 64 percent of respondents who identified themselves as Trump 2024 voters saying yes on the question of “Did Donald Trump deserve to win the Nobel Peace Prize?” with 20 percent saying no and another 17 percent saying they don’t know.

Kind of low right? Shouldn’t it be closer to his 81 percent job approval rating among his asshole voters? He can’t even get two-thirds of them to agree that he should get his satisfaction?

Psychopath Candace Owens on Tuesday dropped surreptitiously-recorded late September 2025 audio of now-Turning Point USA CEO Erika Kirk gushing about attendance figures, merchandise sales, and performance metrics from Charlie Kirk’s memorial event in Arizona.

“Republicans are in disarray on immigration. It’s not a sentence your Playbook author expected to be writing, a year into this presidency – and certainly not after Trump’s clampdown on the border. But four days on from the deadly shooting of Alex Pretti, this is suddenly where we’re at,” writes your Politico Playbook author on Wednesday morning. Fuuuuuuuuck these people are so fucking awful.

Seriously does this asshole blog anonymously about Love Island on Netflix? Is it some kind of trollish social experiment to just see if anyone’s going to make note of the insipidity and douchery of their grating “takes”? What the fuck goes through someone’s head, “OMG this is SO clever, let me invert a cliche we in the political media have established as conventional wisdom and then remark about how novel and unexpected it is for me to be writing it during this BIG plot twist!!! ZING!”

The “domestic terrorist” movement known as “No Kings” will hold its third round of nationwide protests against the Orange God Emperor’s regime in Saturday, March 28, the AP reports.

NEW ANGLE: A man sitting in the front row of Rep. Ilhan Omar's town hall was tackled after he appeared to spray her with an unknown substance. pic.twitter.com/rqKbOUp1Do

— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 28, 2026

Is it newsworthy when it’s one of the Republicans who voted to convict Trump in his second impeachment trial and another who quit because he knew the fat fuck would endorse some primary challenger? Can’t even tell anymore, but Lisa Murkowski and Thom Tillis did vote to confirm dog-murdering idiot Kristi Noem to be Homeland Security Secretary and they are calling on him not not literally murder her now but fire her instead, per freelancer Jamie Dupree and CNN’s Annie Grayer.

In a section of a Monday corporate blog post headlined “Prioritizing our investments” Amazon writes that “While we’ve seen encouraging signals in our Amazon-branded physical grocery stores, we haven’t yet created a truly distinctive customer experience with the right economic model needed for large-scale expansion. After a careful evaluation of the business and how we can best serve customers, we’ve made the difficult decision to close our Amazon Go and Amazon Fresh physical stores, converting various locations into Whole Foods stores. Customers can continue to shop Amazon Fresh online in available areas for fast and convenient delivery. We’re grateful to our team members for their many contributions over the years and are working whenever possible to help them find roles elsewhere in Amazon, including across our vast operations network.”

Whatever. No reason to doubt that they can shuffle workers elsewhere or retrain them as Whole Foods staff for the rebranded stores. Whether they can do so without screwing them out of current salary or advancement opportunities is another question. Still better than axing them altogether.

It’s the “prioritizing our investments” part that rings a tad hollow given that the announcement comes as the global megacorporation also paid $40 million to produce the soon-to-launch Melania Trump “documentary” and another $35 million to market it. Maybe, just maybe, that grand total of $75 million that could have gone to some kind of all-hands effort toward salvaging the sunk cost of developing 21st century convenience stores that calculate your tab without a cashier.

Semi-regular GOP mouthpiece Axios reports that ghoulish white nationalist Stephen Miller was behind the batshit stupid claim that murder victim Alex Pretti was intent on “massacring” Border Patrol agents in Minneapolis on Saturday, with sources telling the bullet-point factory that “Stephen heard ‘gun’ and knew what the narrative would be: Pretti came to ‘massacre’ cops,” and ordered DHS to run it just over two hours after the shooting, causing chaos and infighting on Team Orange.

“Others within the White House attempted to clean up the DHS statement prior to it being sent but it had already been disseminated,” another source said and it’s hard to tell exactly whose agenda this piece serves… It’s definitely someone‘s. It’s not Kristi Noem because it says “Noem has complained to others that she feels she’s being hung out to dry over the episode and has made sure to emphasize she took direction from Miller and the president” and also mentions how she stupidly lied and claimed Pretti had been “brandishing” the pistol that he’d had holstered until he was killed.

Then there’s that Miller was shut out of a two-hour meeting between Trump, Noem, and her sidepiece Corey Lewandowski. The one person Axios paints as most “adult in the room,” and not that he was ever the target of a $50,000 FBI bribery sting operation is “border czar” Tom Homan.

So yeah, most likely some Homanosexual at Axios wrote this and printed it at his behest.