Monday is Trumpmas, the most sacred holiday in the MAGAmerican pagan religion, celebrating the birth of their Lord and Savior, Former President Donald J Trump. It's the most wonderful day of the year for them, a time of merriment, exchanging Chinese-made Trumpmas gifts like MAGA hats and bobbleheads, stringing up orange-colored lights, singing Trumpmas carols like "Wreck the halls of the US Capitol" and "I'm dreaming of a White Nation", and feasting on Trumpmas delicacies like "hamberders" and extra well-done steak covered in Heinz Ketchup.
Yeah, obviously I made all of that up. I'm sure plenty of them are acknowledging it and more than a few are indeed going overboard with full sincerity without my having to fit the "traditions" into a satirical version of Christmas. I'll keep an eye on the internet to find a deeply depressing yet hilarious display of fanatic devotion to the Orange Baby Jesus. Probably won't take too long at all.