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The National Zero articles we didn’t publish today

Thursday was a hell of a week. There’s too much going on for we three mere mortals to tackle appropriately and give the proper love and care. So here’s a roundup.

Nick Fuentes, the quite openly anti-semitic white nationalist 4chan bro who’s about to host a fundraiser for MAGA Arizona Congressman Paul Gosar got into a pretty vicious Twitter fight with Breitbart editor Joel Pollak (whom I’m going to assume is Jewish). The last exchange was Pollak saying “Jews don’t believe in hell, dumbass” and Fuentes responding with “You better start believing in hell piece of shit traitor”, so that’s some fun MAGA-on-MAGA violence to start with.

GETTR is already completely flooded with trolls pretending to be MAGA media personalities.

It gets even BETTR: “QAnon fans were initially excited about new MAGA social app Gettr, but they’re growing irate as moderators fail to keep lewd anime pics and the ‘pig poop balls’ meme out of the QAnon hashtag. One of the top results now features Sonic the Hedgehog crushing a guy with his feet” reports The Daily Beast’s resident QAnon expert Will Sommer.

It gets even extra BETTR: “A new social media network led by Donald Trump adviser Jason Miller is backed by a fugitive Chinese billionaire who once invited Steve Bannon to live on his yacht. On Thursday, Miller announced the launch of ‘Gettr,’ a new social media app aimed at conservatives that promises to be ‘cancel-free.’ Trump fans wary of social media censorship on more prominent platforms like Twitter and Facebook started to sign up for the platform after Politico reported on the existence of the new site” also reported by Will Sommer at The Daily Beast.

The BETTRest: “Trump isn’t joining Jason Miller’s new social media platform, Gettr – won’t have any financial stake or participation, I’m told. Apparently the ex president still has plans for a separate platform. Unclear what exactly” – Bloomberg’s Jennifer Jacobs.

Not GETTR, finally – Here’s a clip from Capitol rioter and Oath Keeper Thomas Caldwell’s motion for a change of venue, arguing he couldn’t possibly get a fair trial in DC: “District residents not only despise Caldwell’s politics – they despise many things that traditional America stands for. District residents, who largely style themselves as chic, sophisticated, worldly, high-brow urbanites, are repulsed by rural America’s traditional values, patriotism, religion, gun ownership, and perceived lack of education. Conversely, rural America is repulsed by what it perceives as East and West Coast progressive snobbery, addiction to government funding, lack of moral values, and petulant intolerance for those with different viewpoints. The ‘Two Americas’ couldn’t be more different and largely despise and distrust one another” and what the hell kind of lawyer writes this shit?

Newly born-again MAGA faithful asshole JD Vance has been nuking his 2016-era tweets critical of the Orange Pharaoh, foreswearing all of his past apostasies as he launches his bid for the seat being vacated by retiring Ohio Senator Rob Portman. He REALLY wants that endorsement.

The sign on Vance’s podium fell off at the very moment he officially announced his campaign.

“Facebook is now asking neighbors to turn in their own neighbor who believes in free speech or something they don’t like. All’s you have to do is label them an ‘extremist’. There are no rules to their definition. This could be anything. They will be the judge” is the Gateway Pundit’s very much in-character reaction to Facebook’s new “extremism intervention” tool that was introduced to National Zero readers Thursday when it was deployed to hilarious effect on former Trump lawyer Jenna Ellis.

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Tony Dorkoupil taken down a notch

3 hours ago

Regime demands list of Jews from University of Pennsylvania

4 hours ago

Nunchucks guy dead at 59

5 hours ago

Pedo 1980s actor turns himself in

6 hours ago

Mamdani and Trump are texting bros

7 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Horrible spray-tan job gives “economic” speech

8 hours ago

Third of voters think Renee Good execution justified: QU poll

8 hours ago

Regime wanted to prosecute Renee Good’s widow: NYT

9 hours ago

Michigan CEO resigns after admitting Renee Good was executed

9 hours ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with “foreign fraudsters”: Watch Live

11 hours ago

Orange racist mourns cancer-ridden racist

11 hours ago

Clintons tell Comer to fuck off on Epstein investigation subpoena

12 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Chickenheads cluck cluck to Capitol reporters

12 hours ago

Trump vows to punish fascist stormtroopers who murder civilians

12 hours ago

Minnesota AG says Jonathan Good can hide but he can’t run

12 hours ago

South Korea prosecutor seeking death penalty for Yoon

13 hours ago

“THE DAY OF RECKONING AND RETRIBUTION IS COMING!”

13 hours ago

Life coach lady hypes legislation that will never actually pass

14 hours ago

Raskin investigating how many Capitol rioters DHS has hired

15 hours ago

Top DOJ officials quit over Jonathan Ross decision

16 hours ago

Grand Theft Auto V players push new mission creator to it limits

22 hours ago

Surprise! FBI investigating Renee Good, won’t charge ICE agent

1 day ago

Bill Ackman sends $10,000 to hardcore MAGA antisemite’s GoFundMe campaign for ICE agent Jonathan Ross

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Minnesota leaders announce lawsuit against ICE

1 day ago

Liz Warren says Trump called her after she commanded him to

1 day ago

Moldova president supports self-annexing to Romania

1 day ago

Mark Kelly sues Pete Hegseth

1 day ago

“With a little bit of patience”

1 day ago

Diaper Donnie pissing himself in fear of tariff ruling

1 day ago

NASA spokesman denies August 12 gravity interruption

1 day ago

Nobel Peace Prize handover ceremony scheduled for Thursday

1 day ago

USDA propaganda difficult to succinctly or even properly describe

1 day ago

Mattel launches new autistic Barbie doll

1 day ago

Paramount sues Warner for conducting capitalism

2 days ago

Roger Marshall thinks Trump regime just “trolling” Jerome Powell

2 days ago

Mary Peltola officially launches Senate bid in Alaska

2 days ago

Orange God Emperor to be briefed on Iran options Tuesday

2 days ago

Judge Box-o-Wine leaks criminal probe of Jerome Powell

2 days ago

Noem’s CNN bit almost as much of a wreck as her face: Live blog

3 days ago

Orange Pharaoh threatens Cuba with annihilation

3 days ago

Nepalese royalists on the march again

3 days ago

Nobel Committee clarifies certain policies on finality of peace prizes

3 days ago

Fox News reports Trump signs order overruling judicial branch

3 days ago

Kevin the emu returned home safe and sound

3 days ago

Ayatollah blames Trump for Iranian regime’s massacring protestors

4 days ago

Fat liar “calling for” campaign pledge’s fulfillment

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Slob hosts oil oligarchs

4 days ago

MAGA outlet obtains footage from ICE agent Ross’s phone

4 days ago

Jack Smith to testify publicly to House Judiciary

4 days ago

Supreme Court does not rule on Trump’s bullshit tariffs

5 days ago

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