The right-wing legal trolls at Judicial Watch filed a FOIA request over incidents involving President Biden’s dog Major. Just yesterday a New York Post reporter asked about it during a White House Press Conference, and received the appropriate “look of death” from White House spokesperson Jen Psaki. Now, NBC News apparently decided this bullshit was worth legitimizing by reporting it on their site.

German Shepherds are used as police and guard dogs for a reason: they are large and powerful animals that are extremely loyal to their human companions and will readily put themselves between their humans and someone they perceive as an aggressor.

German Shepherds also have a very powerful bite, with a “bite force” (the amount of pressure between the dog’s jaws as its biting down) that’s been measured at up to 238 pounds per square inch, which is more than enough to snap fingers and break a human arm or leg.

There are a few simple rules that people who grew up around dogs know, that non-dog owners should learn whenever they are around any of the large, powerful dog breeds. The comments in the NBC News story cited above included some e-mail banter among Secret Service officers, and it appears those officers require some training in how to act around a guard dog. Below are several pointers that Secret Service staff should be briefed on.

1. Do not barge into a room unannounced: any startling action will trigger the dog’s guard response, and they will step in to guard their human companion.

2. Do not raise your voice in front of the animal: same reason as above.

3. Avoid any rapid movements, or reaching into your pockets, or large bags that you are carrying.

4. If the dog approaches you, give it the opportunity to do his preliminary investigation by having his sniff. Do not pull away from the animal, attempt to brush him aside, or yell at him, as that makes the dog decide you’re a potential threat.

5. Avoid demonstrating a nervous demeanor in front of the animal. If you appear nervous the dog will pick up on it, and will wonder why you are on edge.

To dog owners, the five points listed above will seem like common sense, but as the world teaches us repeatedly, common sense isn’t so common. While Republicans are no doubt filled with glee at the idea of trying to have Joe Biden’s dog removed from the White House, such an action would be cruel to the President, and is absolutely un-justified. A simple briefing for Secret Service staff on how to act around Major Biden would make much more sense.

Part of the problem is that the White House serves as both a primary residence, and a place of business. It would be appropriate for the Biden’s to consider confining Major to the areas of the White House that serve as a private residence, and have staff members that he knows and trusts walk him and keep watch on him during the day while the President and First Lady are attending to their duties.

The ultimate solution is a bit of compromise: Secret Service staff do their part to learn to act around a guard dog, and the President and First Lady accept the fact that you cannot have a powerful guard dog around you when you’re working in an environment where large numbers of staff and reporters are constantly coming and going.