Photo illustration of out and proud Ivermectin users
Ingesting livestock dewormer Ivermectin causes uncontrollable urges for sexual contact with members of one’s own gender, sources in the American pharmaceutical industry tell National Zero, citing increasing reports of homosexual desires surfacing in persons whom previously appeared to be heterosexual after having ingested the “horse paste”. Male Ivermectin users are particularly afflicted, the sources said, citing a witness’s graphic report of two rural Missouri men stripping naked and dancing luridly to rapper 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop” in the bed of a pickup truck outside of a farm supply store in broad daylight, horrifying onlookers, several of whom broke down in tears.
In another incident, roughly a dozen members of a Northern Florida women’s prayer group shaved each other’s heads and signed up for a local softball league immediately after sharing a tube of ivermectin amongst themselves at a Monday evening Bible Study meeting, terrified fellow members of the unnamed white Evangelical Christian congregation reported.
National Zero cannot verify any of this reporting or even the existence of these sources, however it’s way more realistic than the “vaccines cause magnetism” story, so we’re running with it. There’s nothing wrong with being homosexual, but those who wish to avoid it should avoid ivermectin.