“On the morning of May 20, 2022, Texas & Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association Special Rangers and assisting agencies, including the Texas Department of Public Safety and the Loving Country Sheriff’s Office, arrested four individuals on charges of theft of livestock and engaging in organized criminal activity. Arrested were Skeet Jones, 71, Jonathon Alvarado, 23, Cody Williams, 31, and Leroy Medlin, 35, all from Loving County, Texas. The arrests came as a result of an ongoing, year-long investigation. The defendants allegedly gathered stray cattle in the area and sold them without following the legal procedures set forth in Chapter 142 of the Texas Agriculture Code, along with other possible violations. Due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, additional details are not being released at this time. Arrest affidavits may be acquired through Loving County, where the charges were filed” says a press release from the Texas & Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association.

Just to clarify for those who may not be familiar – in Texas (and Arkansas) a “County Judge” is the top elected official of a county, not a judicial officer who presides over legal matters, though we’re sure there are plenty of examples of Texas County judges who have served in both capacities. In every other state the same position would be “County Executive” (or “Borough Executve” in Alaska and “Parish Executive” in Louisana) – save for “County Mayor” in Hawaii and Tennessee and “Judge/Executive” in Kentucky. Hawaii and Tennessee have it right, in our opinion. “Executive” is too generic-sounding and “judge” is confusing as fuck, necessitating this extra paragraph.

Loving County, Texas is, at population of 64, the least populous county-level division in the United States, having undertaken Kalawao County, Hawaii (population 82) for the bottom spot after the 2020 census. This means four residents locked up for cattle rustling is fully 6% of the population of Loving County. Funny enough that was also President Joe Biden’s total share of the vote there in 2020: 4 votes for 6%. At 90% Trump in 2020, Loving may or may not be the MAGA-est county in the United States but it has to be up there. The least MAGA-est is Kalawao, in which Biden beat Trump 23 to 1 for a 96% margin. Kalawao for the win. Too bad there’s no Kalawao mayor (the county is administered by the state government), they could’ve trolled Judge Skeet Jones.