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Steve Bannon utterly schlonged in court, federal judge demolishes main defense arguments just days before trial begins

A federal judge on Monday completely teabagged Nazi cirrhosis patient Steve Bannon’s “4D chess” plans for his upcoming trial on charges of criminal contempt of Congress, Politico’s Kyle Cheney reports. Per Cheney, the judge effectively ruled that Bannon’s only defense that can be presented to the jury is that he somehow misunderstood the subpoena instructions, tossing out all the other bullshit and games Stevie had planned to play arguing about the House January 6th Select Committee’s legitimacy and believing Trump still had a legitimate claim of executive privilege.

Also denied was Bannon’s moronic, fanboy-hyped attempt to subpoena Nancy Pelosi and members of the select committee. So bad was the damage that Bannon lawyer Doug Schoen – famous for being a complete cock knob when defending Trump at his second impeachment trial – asked “What’s the point of going to trial if we don’t have any defenses?” Always a good sign when your $1,200 per hour attorney publicly says you might as well just save time and plead guilty.

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