ERIC wins Missouri GOP Senate primary

And that’s Attorney General Eric Schmitt, not disgraced former Governor Eric Greitens, Cook Political Report Dave Wasserman projects. Moscow Mitch can sleep slightly easier tonight only having to deal with Mehmet Oz, Herschel Walker, and probably Blake Masters. Trump gets no extra endorsement win on this one, being too chickenshit to endorse Greitens like he wanted to. Reps Billy Long and Vicky Hartzler’s careers in Congress end in failed aspirations for higher office, as does Mark “Get off my lawn” McCloskey’s aspiration for any office. And probably his legal career.

Felon-in-Chief nukes Biden order lowering prescription costs

Enrique Tarrio released from prison

Marco Rubio confirmed unanimously

“What appeared to be a fascist salute”

Scorecard 2025

WATCH LIVE: Deer feeding in rural Maine

LIVE UPDATES: The second Trump Regime comes into power

Orange Warlord to revoke clearances for the “51 former officials”

Biden Pardon-palooza Day is here!

The Oranges of Wrath

Dumb sheep benefit massively in Biden’s booming solar industry

Team Orange orders inauguration jumbotrons taken down

Lindsey hungover and angry again

U-Haul trapped in frozen Maine lake until weather gets colder

“Well it’s a- it’s a complex collection of legislation”: Mike Johnson on whether he can write a bill to bring grocery prices back down

Cotton and Ricketts meow at Trump’s pledge to save TikTok

Tom Homan backs off planned Chicago immigration raids

Man steps off high speed German train for a smoke, then the doors close and the train starts moving with his luggage still on board…

Colorado Dem helpfully points MAGA constituents to where they can get reimbursed for airfare and accomodations for inauguration

Judge orders Yoon held for at least 20 days

Canadians vow “surgical” retaliatory tariffs to target Red States

“Meme” dispensed upon tithe to cult deity

South Korean court hears Yoon’s pleas for release

Los Angeles DWP chief assigned personal security detail

Movie Night Friday: Darkest Hour and The Darkest Hour

Judge orders former president arrested for sexually abusing minor

Inauguration tickets now “commemorative”

“What’s a Soup Drop? Well, it’s soup you can suck on, of course!”

CBS considering settling with Trump in Harris interview lawsuit

She probably isn’t dressed warm enough for the National Mall

Comer writes Jerry Nadler smells like shit

Witch hunt underway after German “Corona rebel” candidate claims he was savagely beaten by members of ancient witch cult

Team Orange moves inauguration indoors

WATCH LIVE: Dog murderer’s confirmation hearing to lead DHS

Ohio Lt Governor Jon Husted to replace JD Vance in Senate

Senate passes Laken Riley act

Supreme Court upholds TikTok ban

Mandarin Madman self-debriefs on Chicom manipulation session

ChiCom buyers switch to Brazilian soybeans ahead of Trump return

BREAKING NEWS: Complete worm considering finding new job

House Republican anonymously calls Budget chairman a child

Hunter Biden’s paintings go up in flames: report

Orange Felon demands FBI preserve documents on DEI office

MAGA Land extolls the virtues of requiring ID for internet porn

Midwest MAGA secessionists making noises about county swaps

New York Post reports new whistleblower alleging Biden allowed unauthorized aliens access to top-secret military bases

Former Georgia election workers settle with Rudy

Bolsonaro doesn’t need Viagra anymore after Trump DC invite

MAGA incel Georgia state senator tossed and arrested

Welsh Bitcoin loser thinks Trump can intervene in case