The first and most reliable sign that there’s an apocalyptic, five-alarm clusterfuck going on in the MAGAverse is when they’re utterly incapable of staying on the same page with their bullshit. That’s true when it’s a scandal and there are multiple different mutually-exclusive theories, lines of defense, distractions, etc, but what’s been happening these last few days with the tariff disaster is, safe to say, considerably worse than the usual scandal or crime because they can’t even collectively agree on whether this is a power move or a catastrophic mistake by their Orange Allah:
“I’ve noticed that trolls who were national security experts last week are now tariff experts this week” – Top comment on the Breitbart article “Bryson DeChambeau Praises Trump as ‘Great Ambassador’ for Golf amid PGA Tour-LIV Talks,” posted Friday night. The article was still the top story on Breitbart’s homepage as of 8:45 AM EDT on Saturday, so this is fucking hilarious that the site tries to change the subject but the douchebag (a racist fanboy from back in the days of The Hill’s Disqus) goes right back to it, projecting the MAGAverse’s own pathology onto what can only be liberal “trolls” ruining the MAGA safe space site’s comments faster than mods can squash them.
“There is no US industry that can lower prices on all those goods. It takes years for companies to move production into the US, and Trump only has 2 years before the midterms that will probably end with him being impeached” – Top comment on the Fox Business News article “Trump’s 10 percent baseline tariffs on imports from many countries now in effect,” posted Saturday. Now if that comment seems ambiguous as to whether the asshole who posted it is MAGA, look no further than this other one he posted two weeks ago shrieking about “activist judges were picked for their Leftist activism by Obama and Biden by Obama and Biden and no other reason,” on a story about Republicans pushing that dead-end bill to limit nationwide injunctions against the Trump regime.
“Pain is good and bad. It hurts when you begin and strengthens you when it stops. The direction of Trump’s economic pain is in a positive direction to build the economy. If you recall, Biden’s pain was unproductive and destructive. Killing the economic engines made us a weak nation” – Top comment on the OANN article “Trump Brushes Off China’s Tariff Retaliation, Asserts His Policies Won’t Change,” posted Friday. If you’re skeptical as to whether this asshole came up with that himself, you’re probably right as at least part of it was ripped from the title of an influential 1990 paper by economist William J Baumol called “Entrepreneurship: Productive, Unproductive, and Destructive.”
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
— Markwayne Mullin (@SenMullin) April 6, 2025
“Good. They are losing their minds because Trump is right as always. Don’t let these professional liars convince you that the sky is falling :D” – Top comment on the New York Post article “Nintendo delays US pre-orders for highly anticipated Switch 2 console amid worries over Trump tariffs,” the cult of the Orange Overlord laughing hubristically and tempting the wrath of the cult of Nintendo.
“Have we all died from tariffs yet? I didn’t even have time to take down my Signalgate decorations!!!!!” – Top comment on an Instapundit post titled “BILL ACKMAN ON TARIFFS” (lol), posted Saturday. Love how it’s all the same to this asshole, that he’s putting in the same bin a fairly run-of-the-mill insidery “witch hunt” scandal that your median no info voter hasn’t heard about let alone understands with an actual self-inflicted economic catastrophe that will affect everyone. The Ackman tweet referenced on Instapundit is TLDR and just the usual circlejerky spin, so here’s a different, shorter instance of his douchery in response to his Orange Jesus’s suicidal shitshow:
Sometimes the best strategy in a negotiation is convincing the other side that you are crazy.
— Bill Ackman (@BillAckman) April 3, 2025
“Tell that to my dad who is retiring in September and just had his modest retirement accounts decimated” – Top comment on the Federalist article “If You’re Hysterical About Trump’s Tariffs, Go Touch Grass,” reprinted at Hot Air on Saturday. It’s only the fifth comment but it has four downvotes to one upvote on the paywalled subscriber-only Disqus threads at the right wing website, lol.
“Don’t recall this airhead questioning the O’Biden Administrations constant economic and jobs numbers manipulation… Or questioning them when they changed the ACCEPTED definition of what constituted a Recession so they could claim we were not in one when in fact we were in a Biden Recession” – Top comment on the Daily Caller article “‘People Are Throwing Around The R Word’: Fox News Host Asks Stephen Miller If He’s ‘Concerned’ About ‘Recession’,” posted Friday, the “airhead” being Fox News anchor Sandra Smith. Not mentioned in the comment is how every single sentence uttered by Miller printed in the article was a lie. “We inherited from Joe Biden an economy in total free fall. There has been zero job growth for American workers in 4 years, in other words, all jobs growth has gone to foreign workers. That is a depression, not a recession. That is a depression for the American workers. We had debt and deficits were rising unsustainably that would turn into a certain debt and deficit crisis. We had inflation that was in high double digits, crushing the American family and making it impossible to afford the essentials of life. We had an economy that was in the state of calamity and catastrophe,” said Miller in response to the “airhead’s” simple question.
Your 401k was down from December of 2021 to December of 2023. That’s two years of negative growth. Did you tweet me about your 401k during those two years while inflation rose to 9% too? I bet not. Your 401k is the same value now as it was a year ago. I’m buying now. You do you. https://t.co/UY0NZ1ROPb pic.twitter.com/giYEGxoPs2
— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) April 4, 2025
“Why wouldn’t we give this a chance. The other way doesn’t work” – Top comment on the Daily Wire article “ ‘HANG TOUGH’: Trump Calls On Americans To Ride Out Tariff Storm, Predicts ‘Historic’ Investments,” posted Saturday. That this zero-calorie comment in response to Trump telling them they’re going to suffer is the most upvoted says a lot about where the collective mood is at among Daily Wire readers these days. Like they just want to affirm each other with something, anything, and admitting to oneself that the comment was like saying antidepressants don’t work so you should try sticking your hand in an Insinkerator is tantamount to unconditional surrender to the libtards.
“Isn’t it just amazing how all of a sudden the dimwits say that tariffs are the reason for every single problem in this country. It’s very simple, it’s called democrat policies!” – Top comment on the Newsmax article “WashPost: Tariffs Raise Question of Housing Costs,” posted Sunday. It’s like he’s mad at Trump for making it so much harder to blame Biden for this clusterfuck.
— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) April 5, 2025
“The new ‘insurance’ policy has already been written. The House and Senate need to protect the investments that DJT is making for our future. By all means, weaponize the DOJ; they did and the damage is still lingering. The left will NEVER concede. Stop playing nice; we win over nobody from the left by playing nice. One shot is all we have” – Top comment on the TownHall article “After ‘Liberation Day,’ Ted Cruz Has a Warning About What Happens If Democrats Take Control of the House,” posted Sunday. On his stupid podcast Cruz basically sounded like an MSM political analyst, warning that an extended tariff shitshow would bring “massively higher prices, result in driving up costs for US companies, result in job losses, and put us into a recession – and to be clear there, if the tariffs remain in place and we have retaliatory tariffs, that is a very possible outcome, if we go into a recession, particularly a bad recession, 2026 in all likelihood, politically, would be a bloodbath,” which in turn means “And to be clear, if that happens… in January of 2027 the Democrat House that gets elected, will immediately impeach Donald Trump, and we would spend the next two years of 2027 and 2028 with constant impeachment battles, constant investigations, constant political attacks, all of the weaponization that we saw in the first term.” To which that asshole commenter’s take is that the DOJ needs to start prosecuting Democrats now to prevent that, lol.
“If tariffs and taxes on imports are so bad, why are other countries, including Canada and Mexico doing it to US products? Why, all you ‘economists’ who are against this, aren’t thes other countries ‘causing recessions’? I’ll wait” – Top comment on the Gateway Pundit article “President Trump Urges Americans to ‘Hang Tough’ on Tariffs,” posted Saturday. Always a sign of confidence in one’s position when they’re on a right wing website angrily demanding the experts to explain themselves on an issue they’ve already explained to those who would listen – bonus points to this Pundit reader for writing that under an article how their president just told them to suck up and deal with the coming suffering that “all you ‘economists'” warned his policies would inflict on them.
What will Trump’s haters do if his tariff play brings country after country to the negotiating table, resulting in bilateral trade agreements that make U.S. trade more free than ever?
— Mike Lee (@BasedMikeLee) April 5, 2025
Last and certainly least is the unhinged descendant of a psychopathic Mormon polygamist who in 1877 was executed by firing squad for ordering his men to dress up as members of the Southern Paiute tribe and massacre at least 120 non-Mormon pioneers headed to California from Missouri. Despite his absolute loyalty to the Orange God Emperor, Mike Lee fucks up here and betrays a lack of confidence by writing “if his tariff play” works rather than when it works. Fucking loser, lol.