A great Conservative once said “When you’re a star, they let you do it… You can do anything,” when speaking about how his importance gave him unlimited license to grab women’s private parts free of the burdens imposed by prior consent. Inspired by those timeless words, in late August the up-and-coming Blaze TV host and Capitol riot misdemeanant Elijah Schaffer was sitting next to colleague Sara Gonzalez at the premiere of the Schaffer-produced documentary Uncle Tom II and went for it. But alas, as the Daily Beast reports, the intoxicated Schaffer had misjudged his star power, and Gonzalez would not just let him do anything. In fact, by grabbing her breasts without permission, Schaffer has, for now at least, found his star power depleted dramatically as pinkish blob Glenn Beck has fired him from the shitty propaganda outlet Blaze TV for the transgression.
Schaffer’s first mistake – well beyond breaking the “don’t commit sexual assault” norm of polite society which we’re now years past treating as a given among the denizens of MAGA World – was that he preyed upon a woman of similar age and professional standing rather than a young intern who would be easier to control. Gonzalez is a host on Blaze TV too and has about 245,000 followers on Twitter to Schaffer’s 471,000. That “Great Conservative” we mentioned earlier wasn’t talking about Gwenyth Paltrow or Nicole Kidman when he said “they” let you do anything. The “they” he meant were young does in their early 20s with an H&M modeling contract or an assistant executive assistant job at Mark Burnett productions. The bottom line is Schaffer’s a fucking amateur who thought he could commit sexual assault and get away with it like a pro.