White collar criminal and Squidward lookalike Rick Scott was all set this week to launch a bid to replace Moscow Mitch as Senate Republican leader and had even recorded a video of the announcement, but abruptly backed off on the challenge altogether on Wednesday after it became clear that the GOP had in all likelihood failed to secure a majority under his leadership of the Republican Senate campaign arm, Politico reports. Probably a smart move considering he flew to fucking Italy in the middle of the campaign when he was supposed to be like, campaigning and stuff.
“If this is true, most of our voters will be very disappointed to learn that while they were focused on winning elections, their campaign chairman was plotting an ill-fated career advancement,” Moscow Mitch minion Josh Holmes told Politico. Hard to disagree with that assessment. If you’re a Republican voter you would have to ask yourself what Rick Scott delivered for you this year.