At best, the tenth-best Hollywood Hercules and loud-mouth poorly-educated conservative Kevin Sorbo prostitutes himself for his Cameo channel, where you can order him to give your drunk uncle a birthday greeting or command that Sorbo record a retirement message for the co-worker you intensely dislike: “Thanks for thirty years of service to our company, Sheila. Here’s a message from Kevin Sorbo about your Social Security disappearing soon.” In his Jeb!-esque “Please clap” appeal, Sorbs (as he says his “friends” call him) says he’s available for most any holiday, so if you’re looking for a last-minute way to commemorate Black History Month, he’s your CIS man.