While it surely felt like a lifetime to anxious libs used to endless disappointments in the wait for disgraced former president Trump to finally face the criminal justice system for the first time in a long and deeply corrupt business and political career, it actually only took two months exactly from the day that the New York Times first reported that a grand jury had been impaneled to revive the Stormy Daniels hush money payoff case to the day the Orange God Emperor was indicted for it.
From the day they reported “Prosecutors Signal Criminal Charges for Trump Are Likely” which we at National Zero headlined “Trump indictment imminent in Manhattan“? Three weeks exactly.
Yes, the actual crimes themselves happened more than six years ago and the case – at least as we know it right now, if limited to Stormy Daniels and maybe Karen McDougal (it might not be, more on that later) – might be a narrow one and it’s certainly lower on the list of offenses Trump should face justice for. But for what had been a “zombie” case libs had given up hope on, the turnaround from the first report of the grand jury investigation to the indictment was remarkably quick in contrast to the Georgia and federal investigations – especially the Mar-a-Lago docs case considering it’s been nearly 7 months since the FBI raided that dump and found literal nuclear weapons intel.
Here’s a timeline laying it all out:
Manhattan DA presenting evidence against Trump in Stormy Daniels payoff to new grand jury, ex-National Enquirer boss testifies – 1/30/2023. The day it all (re)started.
Cohen meets again with Manhattan prosecutors – 2/8/2023
Kellyanne Conway meets with Manhattan DA – 3/1/2023
Hope Hicks meets with Manhattan DA – 3/6/2023
Trump indictment imminent in Manhattan: NYT – 3/9/2023. At that point we felt comfortable labeling it as “imminent” because the Times said that Trump being invited to testify to the grand jury was a strong indication that he was going to be charged, despite correctly anticipating “I’ll believe it when I see it” from some of our burned-too-many-times readers in the comments.
Orange Warlord explodes over Manhattan DA report – 3/9/2023
Michael Cohen to testify to Manhattan grand jury – 3/10/2023
Trump holding weekend confab to strategize response to Manhattan DA’s invitation to address grand jury – 3/10/2023. In hindsight this was probably a waste of a perfectly good Saturday since Trump’s lawyers couldn’t stop the fat bastard’s indictment.
Stormy Daniels testifies to Manhattan grand jury – 3/15/2023. It’s actually not clear if Stormy testified or simply met with prosecutors (the guy we sourced was the only one to say “testified”). We probably should have fixed that, but what does it matter now that Trump’s been charged.
Orange Warlord claims Garland meddling in Stormy Daniels case – 3/16/2023
Team Trump plans to blame Biden for Manhattan indictment: NYT – 3/16/2023. LOL.
NYC law enforcement preparing for Trump to be indicted next week – 3/17/23. When shit started getting real with the first reporting sourced externally from Trump’s lawyers, the Manhattan DA’s office, etc. You had to be a pretty hardcore doomer lib to think it wasn’t happening then.
Trump says he’ll be arrested on Tuesday – 3/18/2023. The fat bastard began setting his own timeline so he could claim the case fell apart when it wasn’t met.
Spokesworm walks back Trump post – 3/18/2023
MAGA Land huffs copium in response to devastating news – 3/18/2023
Small terrier yips angrily at Black man coming too close to his owner – 3/18/2023
Here we go again — an outrageous abuse of power by a radical DA who lets violent criminals walk as he pursues political vengeance against President Trump.
I’m directing relevant committees to immediately investigate if federal funds are being used to subvert our democracy by…
— Kevin McCarthy (@SpeakerMcCarthy) March 18, 2023
Manhattan DA in “delicate negotiations” with Secret Service: report – 3/18/2023
Orange Sheikh commands his jihadis to attack – 3/18/2023
Bongino distraught at prospect of accused criminal facing justice – 3/18/2023
Manhattan District Attorney tells team to stay frosty – 3/18/2023
Fox and Friends trying to make Trump arrest about “Black lives” – 3/19/2023
NYPD getting “disorder control” unit ready for Trump arrest – 3/19/2023
MORE DISBELIEF OVER SELF-CREATED CLUSTERFUCK – 3/19/2023
House GOP coming for Manhattan DA’s office – 3/20/2023
MAGA Congresswoman says Trump simply won’t show up to court
Comer and Jordan ask Manhattan DA to testify to Congress – 3/20/2023. The first shot fired in the skirmish between Bragg and the fanboys in the House GOP.
Trump indictment coming later on Monday or Wednesday: report – 3/20/23. The first of several unfortunate and disappointing false starts.
“They better not put my president in prison!” – 3/20/2023
NYPD orders all cops into uniform starting 7AM Tuesday – 3/20/2023. This report had more than just the headline, including NBC’s Ben Collins at the New York Young Republican Club’s incredibly lame protest – with more media than MAGA present – outside the Manhattan Criminal Court as they anticipated Trump getting arraigned there the next day.
Manhattan DA’s office tells House GOP to fuck off – 3/21/2023
McCarthy happy to not defend Trump on the facts of the case – 3/21/2023
Multiple bomb threats called into NYPD, Manhattan DA’s office – 3/21/2023
Trump to be indicted Wednesday: Daily Mail – 3/21/2023. We promise to be a little more circumspect about sourcing from the Daily Mail.
Carlson laments Trump supporters won’t be able to riot – 3/21/2023
“Midjourney AI”-generated images of Trump arrest not bad – 3/22/2023
WHOA! BOMBSHELL ALERT! – 3/22/2023. “The case is falling apart because of this one letter Michael Cohen wrote to the FEC before he pleaded guilty and testified against Trump!” definitely needs a deeper revisit from us. It’s just too fucking funny to leave alone.
Manhattan grand jury’s Wednesday session called off – 3/22/2023. That fucking sucked.
MAGAchurch pastor prays in tongues to protect Trump from arrest – 3/22/2023. Whole lot of good this holy jibberish did. Wonder if this guy feels embarrassed now.
Lawyers tell Trump to be ready to lose Manhattan DA’s case – 3/23/2023
Manhattan grand jury pushes Trump case to next week: report – 3/23/2023
Jury to be anonymous in Trump-EJ Carroll rape trial – 3/23/2023. Headline might make it seem tangential, but the judge wrote “Mr Trump’s quite recent reaction to what he perceived as an imminent threat of indictment by a grand jury sitting virtually next door to this Court was to encourage ‘protest’ and to urge people to ‘take our country back. That reaction reportedly has been perceived by some as incitement to violence. And it bears mention that Mr Trump repeatedly has attacked courts, judges, various law enforcement officials and other public officials, and even individual jurors in other matters,” in the unilateral order.
Orange Karen should complain to Manhattan DA’s manager – 3/23/2023
Melania “doesn’t sympathize” with Donald’s legal shitshow: report – 3/23/2023. There were a lot of reaction and side articles we skipped in this rundown. This one had to be included, lol.
Orange God Emperor threatens “death and destruction” – 3/24/2023
Some MAGA asshole mailed powder to Manhattan courthouse – 3/24/2023
Newsmax hosts already calling envelope a “Democrat” false flag – 3/24/2023
Trump laments that courts follow the law, which are conspiring against him to make him lose court cases – 3/24/2023
Bragg tells Jim Jordan to stop complaining and take it like a man – 3/25/2023
Trump fans should start thinking Joe Tacopina is “Deep State” – 3/26/2023
Majority see Trump investigations as fair: Marist/NPR/PBS poll – 3/27/2023. The lull in the action got so bad we had to cite it as an abstraction like in polls.
Manhattan grand jury hearing more testimony Monday: report – 3/27/2023.
Manhattan grand jury fucks off another week – 3/28/2023. Being wrong about this was fun.
Trump’s payoff problems may be more than just Stormy – 3/28/2023
Trump supporter pulls knife in front of Manhattan courthouse – 3/28/2023
We already wrote this article about Trump thanking a grand jury – 3/29/2023. Can’t get any more “famous last words” than this one.
Manhattan grand jury fucks off for a whole month: report – 3/29/2023. The abyss.
Manhattan grand jury also looking into Karen McDougal payoff – 3/30/2023. Hints of a possible reason for the delay.
NYPD again boosting security around Manhattan courthouse – 3/30/2023. Hints of more action. We’d been burned before, a lot, but just two minutes later…
TRUMP INDICTED IN MANHATTAN – 3/30/2023
That very real, not altered timestamp is the greatest trophy ever in the Spartan vs The Hill/Mediate reporting speed pissing contest. One that can never be taken away, no matter how little they actually care if they even know who we are. The headline however is a far grander treasure in the six year internet war between liberals and Trump fanboys. It’ll take an acquittal and a win in the 2024 presidential election for the wound to be erased and healed. Don’t let this heal. Keep pressing on it.
