“It’s all happening, even worse than anyone projected. President Vladimir Putin of Russia is using Crooked Joe Biden’s illegal Banana Republic style treatment of his Political Opponent, who is beating him badly in the Polls, to condemn America and all of the good things it once stood for. The whole World is watching as the USA is being torn apart by dreams of Election Interference!” wrote fat former President Trump in an early Wednesday Truth Social post referencing his boss in the collusion “hoax” publicly badmouthing the American justice system’s “persecution” of Donald.

Later that morning Trump freaked out over a little-noticed New York Times column questioning his mental state by pointing out a strange ramble from last month’s Tucker interview. “We lost 35,000 people to the mosquito. Malaria. We lost 35,000 people. We lost 35,000 people because of the mosquito. Vicious. They had to build under nets. It was one of the true great wonders of the world. One of the nine wonders… No, no, it was one of the seven. You could make nine wonders,” op-ed guy Frank Bruni transcribed Trump as saying, raising the obvious point that Donald’s defenders should maybe stop hyping Biden’s perceived senescence when their guy isn’t all there either.

“Such dishonesty at The Failing New York Times. Recently I did an interview with Tucker Carlson [blah blah blah] During the interview I talked about the Panama Canal, & how we so stupidly sold it back to Panama for one dollar, very sarcastically mimicking Crooked Joe Biden & how truly lost he is…” wrote Trump, then continuing with “You see, Crooked Joe had just called “something” the Ninth Wonder of the World, & it made headlines because it had always been the Seventh. I made it clear in the interview that by my jokingly imitating Biden’s recent gaffe, I was just trying to show how truly dumb & out of ‘it’ this guy really is. The Times knowingly tried to make my spoof on him into my making the same mistake as Biden, no sarcasm, no nothing.” Very Streisand effect-y stuff.