Romney won't run again in 2024

Utah Senator Mitt Romney told the Washington Post on Wednesday he will not run for reelection in 2024. The announcement brings to a close to the career of the former Massachusetts governor, 2012 Republican presidential nominee, and as far as we know is the only living American elected to statewide office in two different states, and beginning a period of joyous celebration for the fanboys who hate him for voting to convict Trump in both impeachment trials.

UPDATE 9/13/2023 2:15 PM EDT: Surprise! Fat former President Trump heralded the “FANTASTIC NEWS FOR AMERICA,THE GREAT STATE OF UTAH, & FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY” in an all-caps scream on Truth Social. “A BIG PRIMARY FIGHT AGAINST HIM WAS IN THE OFFING, BUT NOW THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY. CONGRATS TO ALL,” wrote the ebullient orange toddler.

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

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Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

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We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

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Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

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Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

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Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

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New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

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Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

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US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

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Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

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SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

Senate approves RFK takeover

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich

Deeply unstable woman continues ranting about trans Dem-elect