Categories
Uncategorized

Oklahoma City wildlife removal contractor says he’s hot on the trail of massive python that keeps eating trailer park’s stray cats

An Oklahoma City wildlife removal contractor tells KFOR he’s closing in on the 13-foot python that for five months has been feasting on mammals in the Burntwood Mobile Home Park.

“We’re talking, that thing has been eating opossums, foot-long rats, and cats,” said Red Beard Wildlife Control’s Trevor Bounds. “The mouth on that thing is the size of your foot and when it opens up you’re going to be able to fit something pretty large in there,” Bounds continued, saying he was worried his serpentine quarry could start soon begin preying on humans too. “The constricting is what can be the dangerous part. You can’t have small children or pets going near this thing that’s why this should’ve been tackled a whole lot sooner. Things could have gotten much worse.”

Bounds has only been on the job since Friday but already he’s learned a thing or two about how to track down the monster reptile. “We were using our thermal camera last week to find it but because it is cold-blooded we had to just look for an outline of him,” said Bounds, the pressure to bring the python to justice was growing. “They have an animal that large and I can imagine that each one of those cats put up a nasty fight. So, when it’s been attacked that many times and to that extent, the nice non-aggressive pet snake we once knew is no more. This thing is dangerous now.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

47 mins ago

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

2 hours ago

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

2 hours ago

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

3 hours ago

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

4 hours ago

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

5 hours ago

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

16 hours ago

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

22 hours ago

“He was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the Administration”: Trump on Gaetz withdrawal

23 hours ago

Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

1 day ago

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

1 day ago

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

1 day ago

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

1 day ago

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

1 day ago

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

1 day ago

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

1 day ago

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

2 days ago

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

2 days ago

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

2 days ago

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

2 days ago

Capitol rioter convicted of plotting to murder FBI agents

2 days ago

House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

2 days ago

Elon Musk got a lot done today

2 days ago

Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

2 days ago

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

2 days ago

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

2 days ago

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

2 days ago

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

2 days ago

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

2 days ago

Surprise! Bobby Jr bought into “plandemic” shit in 2020

2 days ago

Walmart CFO says they’re getting ready to jack up prices

2 days ago

US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

2 days ago

AG-designate Gaetz helped pay $10K in tuition for two underprivileged sex workers, Committee investigation found

3 days ago

Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

3 days ago

Guy accused of battery who cheated on wife once wrote of one’s “moral responsibility” while at Ivy League. (No, the other guy)

3 days ago

SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

3 days ago

Senate approves RFK takeover

3 days ago

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich

3 days ago

Deeply unstable woman continues ranting about trans Dem-elect

3 days ago

Fatass demands GOP stop Dems from appointing judges

3 days ago

Manhattan DA won’t let Trump go without a fight

3 days ago

Grassley says Senate will move quick if Gaetz report drops

3 days ago

Mike Johnson too chickenshit to stand up for his faith

3 days ago

Springfield Haitian community in panic mode

3 days ago

Five Brazilian officials arrested in Lula assassination plot

3 days ago

QAnon-pilled MSM reject worried AI coming for your commercials

3 days ago

Russian ballet dancer dies of gravity overdose

3 days ago

Orange Felon privately admits Gaetz may be screwed

3 days ago

Another corrupt priest, a disgraced New York mayor, and Sabrina Carpenter walk into a National Zero story…

4 days ago

Florida’s Most Florida Man won’t get spot because he’s “asshole”

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x