“Donald J Trump respectfully submits this motion to dismiss the charges on the basis of selective and vindictive prosecution. The core conduct alleged in the indictment relating to the presentation of alternate electors has a historical basis that dates back to 1800 and spans at least seven other elections. There are no other prosecutions in American history relating to these types of activities.”

“The allegations in the indictment involve constitutionally authorized activities by President Trump as Commander In Chief, as well as speech and expressive conduct protected by the First Amendment. Given this context, it is no surprise that in the months following the 2020 election, senior government officials rejected an investigation of President Trump as unfounded and potentially unconstitutional. However, biased prosecutors pursued charges despite the evidence, rather than based on it, with one prosecutor violating DOJ rules and ethical norms by forecasting the investigation in a television interview on 60 Minutes. Even the Attorney General felt ‘boxed in’ by the onslaught,” write the fat bastard’s stupid lawyers in a motion filed early Tuesday.

It’s just one of several Team Orange submitted to the court overnight. Another whines “The prosecution does not explain how President Trump violated these statutes, beyond simply saying he has while regurgitating the statutory language.” A third cries that “allegations related to” the Capitol insurrection in the indictment “are not relevant and are prejudicial and inflammatory.”