National Zero founder Spartan lit into Mediaite founder Dan Abrams on Saturday over what he saw as hypocrisy in how in a Wednesday segment on his nightly NewsNation show “Dan Abrams Tonight” he bitched and complained about “what he saw as hypocrisy in how cable news hosts both breathlessly condemned the childish antics on Capitol Hill in recent days while at the same time gave those members of Congress praise and a platform,” while his own site Mediaite covered and thus also gave a “platform” to said “childish antics” in no less than 15 articles during this week.

Dan Abrams Calls Out CNN, MSNBC, and Fox for Hypocrisy on Chaos in Congress: ‘Fanning the Flames Of Division' https://t.co/1lS8DdQg3H

— Mediaite (@Mediaite) November 16, 2023

“Then, as if they were intentionally trying to amplify his own utter void of self-awareness, Abrams had his editorial team at Mediaite assign one of their guys to write an article about how their boss completely owned the Mainstream Media in a show with a tiny fraction of the audience of CNN’s Kaitlan Collins and Fox’s Sean Hannity in the same time slot,” Spartan said in his own article.

Spartan continued tearing into Abrams in this bizarre third-person meant to ape the editorial voice of Mediaite praising the maverick, contrarian spirit of the guy who writes their paychecks:

I had to archive the article so I can read from that instead of the original at Mediaite that takes up 1.6 gigabytes of RAM because of all their fucking ads. Anyway, the part where the article blockquotes Abrams as saying “Because without the partisan media enabling them and even encouraging it the – I guess – dancing bears in Congress might stay in their cages. You see, members of Congress are incentivized by the partizan media to act this way. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s more overt. But whether they admit it or not, the partisan media wants the division and the rancor we see on Capitol Hill these days. They feed off it. It is so hypocritical, so many holier-than-thou cable news hosts come off like they’re offended by these ridiculous antics,” comes across like Kim Jong-Un calling Mohammed bin Salman a murderous tyrant.

“I feel like setting something on fire,” Spartan continued, frustrated by his inability to fully articulate the tangled web of the hypocrisy displayed in Abrams’ criticism of the alleged hypocrisy of other, more successful, cable news hosts. Spartan took solace in the fact that National Zero picked up the news of all three of Tuesday’s heated and hilarious incidents in Congress before Mediate and their buddies at The Hill (whose corporate parent Nexstar also owns NewsNation).

Spartan did not give into speculating whether Abrams’s stupid rant was somehow the product of a crisis of conscience or a knowing and deliberate “fuck you” to his meager television audience who may or may not be aware of Mediaite’s coverage of the mayhem. “Who cares what Abrams was thinking, all we can do is observe and report, which is what we did on Tuesday and very happily so,” he said. “National Zero readers trust Jack and I to make the right calls on content – even if some of those calls might invite that ‘WHy R u GiVInG tHeM 0XyGeN?!?11!’ bullshit we’ve come to know and hate from the simple and obtuse. Of course the assclownery we saw on Tuesday was exhausting and embarrassing. It’s not some lighting in a bottle insight to say that nor is it ‘hypocritical.'”

“Stop fucking overthinking it,” Spartan continued. “These shitshows happened and ignoring them is self-defeating. If Abrams was really so upset over it then maybe he should tell his team to balance it out by printing pieces on the economic time bombs hidden in the US Department of Agriculture’s newest soybean subsidy policies… We’re sure those will get tons upon tons of clicks.”

DAN ABRAMS' FAMILY SECRET.

DAN ABRAMS, FOUNDER OF MEDIAITE, HOST ON ONE NATION CABLE NETWORK, LEGAL ANALYST ON ABC NEWS, HOST AND PRODUCER OF NUMEROUS COURT AND LAW AND ORDER SHOWS ON CABLE, HAS FAILED TO REVEAL ON NUMEROUS OF HIS PLATFORMS THAT HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW, GREG ANDRES,…

— Mark R. Levin (@marklevinshow) November 17, 2023

Spartan holds some sincere admiration for Dan Abrams as a far more successful digital news media entrepreneur. If a demented little freak like Mark Levin is having an all-caps meltdown about him then Abrams must be “over the target” as the fanboys are so fond of saying. Spartan is also certain that in the unlikely event that Abrams ever reads this and decides to respond that he would find some way to argue that he’s far more intellectually honest because of this or that failure of rhetorical consistency committed by Spartan and/or Jack in the past. “I’ve been open about the disconnect between my own editorial [blah blah blah] and my personal stances on media amplification of [blah blah blah],” he would probably include in such a response that concludes with nothing less than a declaration of a massive moral victory over those two pikers and their silly website.

“We would welcome it. We would also welcome an explanation as to what kind of self-cocksucker sticks his own segment in between the usual tedious ‘articles’ about ‘Charlemagne Tha God’ and Bill Maher segments. Was what happened on The View too boring that day?” Spartan concluded.