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Idahoan kicks Yellowstone bison, finds out not that badly

“A 40-year-old male, Clarence Yoder, of Idaho Falls, Idaho, approached a bison too closely (within 25 yards) on the afternoon of April 21, 2024, and was injured by the bison. The incident occurred on the West Entrance Road near the Seven Mile Bridge, located 7 miles east of the park’s West Entrance. Rangers responded to the area after receiving a report of an individual who harassed a herd of bison and kicked a bison in the leg. They located the suspect’s vehicle near the West Entrance and stopped it in the town of West Yellowstone, Montana. Yoder was arrested and charged with 1) being under the influence of alcohol to a degree that may endanger oneself, 2) disorderly conduct as to create or maintain a hazardous condition, 3) approaching wildlife, and 4) disturbing wildlife.”

“The driver of the vehicle Yoder traveled in, 37-year-old McKenna Bass, of Idaho Falls, Idaho, was also arrested and cited for 1) driving under the influence, 2) interference for failure to yield to emergency light activation, and 3) disturbing wildlife. Yoder sustained minor injuries from the encounter with the bison. Rangers transported Yoder to a nearby medical facility where he was medically evaluated, treated and released from medical care. He then was transported to the Gallatin County Detention Center. Yoder and Bass appeared in court on April 22 and pleaded not guilty to the charges,” says a Monday statement from the National Park Service.

We would like to know more about the nature of Yoder’s injuries. You have to assume that the whole universe of outcomes in bison encounters requiring hospitalization that the ones in which the human was also released the same day are vanishingly few and that it’s essentially a binary: Either you stay away from them or you’re laid up for quite a while, likely with permanent damage. So did the bison simply kick the drunk asshole back and leave him down or was it a headbutt where the horns missed his intestines? Or did he escape and then run into a tree? The American taxpayer deserves more information and comedy material from our National Parks’ public communications offices.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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