Categories
Uncategorized

“They were authorized to shoot me! I nearly escaped death”

Fat former President Trump fundraised off of the “DEADLY FORCE AUTHORIZED” line in the FBI’s search warrant affidavit for Mar-a-Lago being unsealed on Tuesday, and that even though this is standard language and they purposely went there in August when the place was deserted and knew full well that he was not present and none of that shit matters because facts are for libtards…

Anyway, in a Tuesday email shaking down his fans, Trump’s lackeys wrote “BREAKING FROM TRUMP: BIDEN’S DOJ WAS AUTHORIZED TO SHOOT ME! It’s just been revealed that Biden’s DOJ was authorized to use DEADLY FORCE for their DESPICABLE raid in Mar-a-Lago. You know they’re just itching to do the unthinkable… Joe Biden was locked & loaded ready to take me out & put my family in danger. He thinks he can frighten me, intimidate me, and KNOCK ME DOWN! But worst of all? They think their THUG TACTICS will cause proud supporters like YOU to abandon me.”

The subject line says “They were authorized to shoot me! I nearly escaped death. Biden’s DOJ was locked & loaded for deadly force at Mar-a-Lago…” Emphasis ours on the “nearly” because if only Trump had nearly escaped death from an FBI agent’s submachine gun. Fucking dumbasses.

The fat fuck himself posted “WOW! I just came out of the Biden Witch Hunt Trial in Manhattan, the ‘Icebox,’ and was shown Reports that Crooked Joe Biden’s DOJ, in their Illegal and UnConstitutional Raid of Mar-a-Lago, AUTHORIZED THE FBI TO USE DEADLY (LETHAL) FORCE. NOW WE KNOW, FOR SURE, THAT JOE BIDEN IS A SERIOUS THREAT TO DEMOCRACY. HE IS MENTALLY UNFIT TO HOLD OFFICE – 25TH AMENDMENT!” Too bad Trump didn’t threaten any violence in return.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“IRAN IS COMPLETELY COLLAPSING!!!”

45 minutes ago

John Solomon reports other guys high on hopium

4 hours ago

CBP arrests USS Abraham Lincoln sailor’s dad

5 hours ago

Log cabin burns to the ground

17 hours ago

“The Biden Administration is over!”

23 hours ago

Louisiana ICE agent arrested for breaking into ex’s home

24 hours ago

Jared Kushner pleads for preemptive mercy from Jeffries

1 day ago

Flock CEO details the human side of a mass surveillance state

2 days ago

ChiComs making you hate data centers: New Big Tech PR message

2 days ago

Trump interrupted by heckler at cult speech

3 days ago

RNC chair blames Biden for abysmal Trump approval ratings

3 days ago

Supreme Court allows work to continue on Trump ballroom

3 days ago

Don Jr-backed “anti-woke marketplace” PublicSquare collapses

3 days ago

“As everyone knows, under President Biden…”

3 days ago

Breitbart reports socialist on slippery slope to full-blown Marxism

3 days ago

Natalie Harp’s creepy, obsessive letters to Trump leak to Daily Beast

3 days ago

Navy to rename carrier USS Doris Miller to USS Donald Trump: CNN

4 days ago

Smarmy MAGA Congressman says Trump pussied out vs Iran

4 days ago

Undercover ICE agent dropped recording device at church

4 days ago

FBI agents seize Swalwell’s devices, raid house

4 days ago

WSJ declares Bonesaw’s insane future city project DOA

4 days ago

Republicans urge Big Tech to improve data centers’ image

4 days ago

“Toughest president ever” announces “ECONOMIC D-DAY”

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Marie Antionette gushes over his Versailles

5 days ago

Orange God Emperor retroactively undorses Cory Mills

5 days ago

Byron Dork butthurt as “dirty trick” works out well so far

5 days ago

Madison Cawthorn gets 8.5 percent in FL-19 primary

5 days ago

Cory Mills loses primary

6 days ago

BREAKING: Fox News admits they lied to viewers about gas prices

6 days ago

California MAGA county clerk to hire Tina Peters as top deputy

6 days ago

“Peace president” gives up on peace talks

6 days ago

Fox News excited to hype launch of new mental poison for kids

6 days ago

ABC files First Amendment lawsuit against FCC

6 days ago

Orange Tyrant still really nervous over Dan Sullivan “hoax”

6 days ago

Frau Ingraham badmouths men who wear makeup

7 days ago

Pete Hegseth visits battlefield to try to help boost morale

7 days ago

President embarrasses nation because it’s a day that ends in Y

7 days ago

Texas MAGA Congressman says suffering American sailors full of shit

7 days ago

Supreme Court spikes Trump’s bid for EJ Carroll rehearing

1 week ago

Orange Fuhrer vows to “bomb the shit out of” US ally Oman

1 week ago

AP reports Trump-Iran 60-day “ceasefire” expires on Monday, lol

1 week ago

“This is real… He hasn’t brought anything down”

1 week ago

Israel relying on AI chatbots to help polish its image

1 week ago

Show us on the doll where the Shannon Bream woked you

1 week ago

Todd Blanche says it’s Trump right to pardon violent Jan 6 felons

1 week ago

Trump-appointed bank regular declares Trump crypto scam a bank

1 week ago

MAGA New York gubernatorial candidate and Nassau County Exec Bruce Blakeman is weak on border security and fighting socialism

1 week ago

Hawaii’s Big Island under hurricane warning

1 week ago

Deranged old loser mad GOP couldn’t find another “Mary Peltola”

1 week ago

WATCH LIVE: Fat Hitler traps Long Island police cadets

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x