A pair of kangaroos that escaped from a home in eastern Texas were returned safely after a few hours on the lam last week, miraculously not torn to shreds by an AR-15 from some deranged hick who thought they were space aliens or some secret government lab experiment, Fox News reports.
“We’re on our way to go eat breakfast, and I look, and I’m like, ‘That’s a freaking kangaroo!’ and it just starts hopping, coming down the road,” said a local who dialed 911 after spotting one of the marsupials. It’s not clear if the caller emptied a clip from his Sig Sauer in the direction of the animal during the brief encounter but that appears to be a safe assumption because Texas.
It’s also not clear how the two Australian beasts, named “Red” and “Hopper,” were eventually recaptured by owner Shelby Lowery, though it’s probably a given that she was armed with an assault rifle and ready to use deadly force to kill other Texans who were hunting them. At least one of the two animals had starred in the 2003 Jerry O’Connell comedy Kangaroo Jack, rated 9 percent positive on Rotten Tomatoes. Anthony Anderson and Christopher Walken were both nominated at the 24th Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Supporting Actor for their performances but lost to Sylvester Stallone’s role as main villain “The Toymaker” in Spy Kids 3D: Game Over.