The corn maze experts at the Hartford Courant have announced their top five picks for fall family fun in Connecticut’s vast mazes of maize (hahaha! Get it?), many at farms that also have pumpkin patches, hay rides, and other autumn/Halloween-themed activities for kids of all ages to enjoy.
Yup, just you and your family having a nice day out at the farm. Not anything about the rest of the world. Just ignore that overweight hillbilly in the cheaply-made “TRUMP 2024” t-shirt trampling down the corn stalks to make a shortcut, joking about burning the whole maze down with his Confederate zippo lighter. Don’t even engage with him, it could turn into a scene. Oh fuck you won’t ever be able to escape this madness as long as there’s other people around, not even when you turn off the notifications on your phone. The election will be everywhere you go, there is no escape unless you just drown yourself in one of the cider vats at this stupid goddamned farm.