Categories
Uncategorized

Hippo attack survivor doesn’t recommend the experience

A British man who barely survived getting attacked by an angry hippopotamus during a vacation in Zambia tells the BBC that he has no hard feelings towards the massive, semi-aquatic mammals despite the savagery visited upon him, but is also “not very fond of” what the hippo did to him.

“When the hippo first hit the canoe, there was a massive crash, much like a car crash really,” said 63 year-old Warwickshire man Roland Cherry, who first suffered a dislocated shoulder, rendering him unable to swim away from the behemoth before things got even more real in the June incident on the Kafue River in Zambia. “I remember surfacing, realizing my shoulder was quite badly injured and I realized I’d dislocated it from the outset and the consequences were that I couldn’t actually swim.”

“The instructions were to swim to safety but I couldn’t swim so I was really a sitting duck, trying to swim with one arm which was never going to end well – and then it grabbed me,” Cherry continued, adding that the beast dragged him down to the bottom of the river. “I do remember thinking ‘oh no, what a way to go… I’m not ready to die’ and this was it, because nobody survives hippo attacks.”

Cherry says the next thing he knew he was lying on the riverbank. “We know subsequently from fellow travelers I was grabbed again and thrown through the air like a rag doll but towards the bank which was the godsend,” he said. He ended up hospitalized in South Africa with a 10-inch (25cm) wound to his abdomen, a thigh injury, and dislocated shoulder, requiring seven surgeries. The nurses told him they never met a hippo attack survivor because, as Cherry said, nobody lives through it.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“A country that lives in forest”

3 hours ago

Orange Antichrist names zealot to lead US media agency

5 hours ago

New fire threatens jail in Los Angeles County

7 hours ago

Fired House Intel Chair worried replacement will be too focused on “Deep State” circlejerks rather than actual threats to America

8 hours ago

Nancy Mace eyeing gubernatorial run

9 hours ago

House GOP to continue investigating January 6th investigation

11 hours ago

MAGA Congressman publicly badgers “moderate” colleague

11 hours ago

Military to deploy 1,500 troops to border

12 hours ago

Insurrectionist considering inviting pardonees to White House

13 hours ago

Tim Burchett fucking sucks at whataboutery

13 hours ago

Kremlin asset posts some kayfabe

14 hours ago

Mike Johnson shreds presidential pardon abuse

14 hours ago

Depressed fish healthier after being provided with fake humans

14 hours ago

Floridians warned not to eat snow

14 hours ago

This never would’ve happened if Kamala Harris had been elected

15 hours ago

Reich DOJ orders investigations of local officials obstructing ICE

16 hours ago

Michigan Secretary of State tweets, deletes gubernatorial launch

17 hours ago

Why do we need more details?

17 hours ago

Murdochs apologize to Prince Harry over paparazzi bullshit

18 hours ago

Orange Satan demands apology from Christian

19 hours ago

“Yeah, we’re talking about conditions to this disaster aid”

1 day ago

Kash Patel was hired to a DEI internship in 2003

1 day ago

ChiComs execute man convicted in vehicular massacre

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Fat idiot says stupid shit to reporters

1 day ago

Orange Overlord tells Senate he’s looking at recess appointments

1 day ago

John Bolton informed Trump allowing him to be murdered by Iran

1 day ago

Dudu Fisher to perform at Chabad Jewish Center in Coral Springs

1 day ago

Hegseth’s ex-sister-in-law submits affidavit alleging abuse

1 day ago

Trump to announce AI Infrastructure Week

1 day ago

National security means arresting kids at school

2 days ago

Tiny D dutifully follows Trump executive order

2 days ago

Nikki Haley denaturalized

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Shrill harpy faces confirmation hearing

2 days ago

Family members of US military among Afghans fucked by Trump

2 days ago

MAGA arsonist and wife, dressed as firefighters and driving old auction-bought fire truck, arrested trying to enter Palisades area

2 days ago

Chef notes he quit before he could be fired

2 days ago

Felon-in-Chief nukes Biden order lowering prescription costs

2 days ago

Enrique Tarrio released from prison

2 days ago

Marco Rubio confirmed unanimously

2 days ago

“What appeared to be a fascist salute”

2 days ago

Scorecard 2025

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Deer feeding in rural Maine

3 days ago

LIVE UPDATES: The second Trump Regime comes into power

3 days ago

Orange Warlord to revoke clearances for the “51 former officials”

3 days ago

Biden Pardon-palooza Day is here!

3 days ago

The Oranges of Wrath

3 days ago

Dumb sheep benefit massively in Biden’s booming solar industry

3 days ago

Team Orange orders inauguration jumbotrons taken down

4 days ago

Lindsey hungover and angry again

4 days ago

U-Haul trapped in frozen Maine lake until weather gets colder

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x