Jesus Dork Mike Johnson’s chief of staff Hayden Haynes tendered his resignation on Monday, NBC’s Scott Wong reports just under a week since he was arrested for drunk driving after backing his Tesla into a parked Capitol Police vehicle following convicted felon President Trump’s stupid joint address.

In the NBC article Wong linked in his tweet, Haynes is described in an arrest report as “slurring his words when voice activating his vehicle to open the glove compartment,” displaying an “unsteady walk,” “staggering,” with a “a strong odor consistent of alcohol emanating from his breath,” falling into the passenger seat, and had difficulty getting his registration. Cops halted the sobriety test.

The article, printed just about 30 minutes before Wong tweeted that Haynes was out, included a statement from Johnson spokesman Taylor Haulsee [these fucking middle-tier WASPy names] saying “The Speaker has known and worked closely with Hayden for nearly a decade and trusted him to serve as his Chief of Staff for his entire tenure in Congress. Because of this and Hayden’s esteemed reputation among Members and staff alike, the Speaker has full faith and confidence in Hayden’s ability to lead the Speaker’s office.” And then they (probably) fired him, lol.

Maybe the best part is this: The NBC article specifically says it was a black, unmarked Chevy Suburban that Haynes backed into at 11:40 PM, raising the extremely strong possibility that the sensors/cameras on his Tesla did not register the other vehicle and thus failed to warn him before he backed into it (a similar enough flaw has gotten at least two other Tesla drivers killed when the autopilot failed to see a white semi-truck trailer since 2016). So yeah, self-inflicted boozing and getting behind the wheel aside, there’s a non-zero chance that Elon Musk indirectly fucked Haynes.