News from the Great Dismal Swamp fittingly depressing and murky

Chesapeake, Virginia cops are investigating after the body of an unidentified male bearing gunshot wounds was found by a hiker in the Great Dismal Swamp on Sunday, the Virginian-Pilot reports.

No further details were reported on the dismal story out of the vast swampland stretching across Virginia and North Carolina’s borders. It’s not clear when the last time there was any truly great news about the area worthy of national media coverage. The Virginian-Pilot put an annoying paywall up on a May 2024 story about the black bear population of the swamp growing.

Now, my story begins in Nineteen-Dickety-Nine…

Herschel Walker named Ambassador to Bahamas

Maine truck driver cited for unsecured cows

McCaul feels like “drones” are coming from China, cites no evidence

QAdulteress vows to take matters into her own paws

Luigi Mangione indicted for First Degree Murder in Manhattan

Too soon, or she can’t talk about it because Christian school, or something that makes it not okay for Kamala Harris to say this

Team Orange now claiming “juror misconduct” in Manhattan trial

Patriot Front banner removed from building set for demolition

Beta GOP Congressman stutters semi-angrily at Mike Johnson

Biden backs ban on stock trades for members of Congress

Sherrod Brown says he’s delivering last speech of “this session”

These aren’t the drones you’re looking for

House GOP releases final report on investigation of Jan 6th Select Committee investigation, recommends Liz Cheney face charges

Orange Warlord sues Ann Selzer, Des Moines Register over poll

Why you shouldn’t try to shoot down a bear

Ukrainians cancel top Russian general in Moscow

Look who still isn’t in prison yet

California man gets 41 months for running 14th Amendment hotel

Merchan tosses Trump immunity claim

Gerry Connolly beats AOC for top Oversight spot

More than a third of Americans don’t have a favorite dinosaur: poll

MAGA Land now says paying more for shit is a patriotic virtue

Trudeau thinking about resigning: report

Jared Moskowitz considering taking FEMA job in Trump Admin

Shooter dead, multiple injured at Christian school in Wisconsin

Orange Caesar calls Xi “an amazing guy”

British researchers say it’s certainly possible Bronze Age cannibal massacre was more “ritualistic” than full-on feast of human flesh

German government collapses

Freedom Caucasian warns ChiComs could be sending the drones

News from the Great Dismal Swamp fittingly depressing and murky

“Why you shouldn’t try to shoot down a suspected drone”

Mayotte cyclone death toll could be in the thousands

UK approves sale of entire postal service to Czech billionaire

Steve Bannon says Donald needs to run again in 2028

California DMV recalls “LOLOCT7” plate for obvious reasons

“Nobody’s putting you on a bus unless they get by me”

Israelis appeal ICC arrest warrants

Kamala Harris thinking about a total Nixon move

Get it? Chris Christie is fat and he eats a lot of McDonald’s! Haha!

Mad spending spree as Americans stockpile before tariffs kick in

Orange God Emperor looking at privatizing USPS: report

South Korean president impeached

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCIV

Judge orders Trump to sit for deposition in ABC News lawsuit

Orange Ayatollah declares jihad on Daylight Saving Time

Nursing home sweethearts tie the knot

Florida woman arrested for saying “Delay, deny, depose – you people are next” to Blue Cross-Blue Shield agent after claim denial

Nancy Pelosi wounded in action near site of major Nazi attack

CREW finds trademark application for Trump Tower in Mexico