Starbucks on Monday announced they will be ending their “demented vagrants and all sorts of other non-customers are welcome to lounge in our stores all day” and instituting a “buy something or get the fuck out” policy as part of an effort to revive sagging sales and the old “community coffeehouse” feel of the chain from before everything went to shit in 2020, the Associated Press reports.
“We want everyone to feel welcome and comfortable in our stores,” Starbucks spokeswoman Jaci Anderson said in corporate speak for the “get the fuck out you smelly freaks ordering ice water to go with your goddamned cold Chinese food in a plastic container” policy. “By setting clear expectations for behavior and use of our spaces, we create a better environment for everyone.”