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Canadian misses out on being first confirmed death by meteor

Researchers at the University of Alberta this week announced they’ve determined that it was indeed a small meteorite that struck the pavement outside of Prince Edward Island man Joe Velaidum’s home in July 2024, just minutes after he had been standing in the exact spot, the CBC reports on Velaidum’s missed opportunity to become world famous as there are no documented occurrences of a human being getting killed by a piece of rock falling from outer space anywhere in history.

“The shocking thing for me is that I was standing right there a couple of minutes right before this impact,” Velaidum told CBC News. “If I’d have seen it, I probably would’ve been standing right there, so it probably would’ve ripped me in half,” he continued, evidently considering himself lucky to be alive rather than unlucky to have his name echo across history as the first ever victim of such an impact. Him and all the dinosaurs who died when a much bigger bolide smashed into the Earth 65 million years ago. Just think of all the would-be future Trivial Pursuit cards bearing his name.

“How does one interpret that, except… with wonder and with awe?” Veladium said, pondering the impact itself rather than what could have been if had destiny collided with him on his driveway.

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