Relief from your suffering is nigh, Trump fans. In less than 20 hours you will be delivered from the oppressions the Biden Regime inflicted upon your people simply for having different opinions on the dangers of 5G technology and the efficacy of horse dewormer as a cure for COVID. The fecklessness with which “Brandon” managed the economy, costing you $18 for a Big Mac Extra Value meal and $99 for an NFT of Trump dressed like Elvis Presley. The way crime was out of control starting in 2020 when scumbags saw the then-former Vice President was leading in the polls and thus felt safe committing horrific acts of depravity against decent Americans. The insane open borders policy that cost what felt like thousands of cats, dogs, and ducks in Ohio their sweet innocent lives. The sense of insecurity wrought by wars in Ukraine and Gaza that never would have happened if those bamboo ballots hadn’t stolen his scared victory in the 2020 election.
That horror show ends at noon on Monday. America will be safe and rich again, and the world will be at peace – except for possibly in Greenland, Panama, and Canada. All 20 million or however many undocumented migrants will be rounded up and removed. The border will be closed. Birthright citizenship will be ended. Every person convicted of a crime committed during the January 6th, 2021 Capitol insurrection will be pardoned. Everything imported from Mexico, Canada, and China will be hit with massive tariffs to the benefit of the American worker and their families, as tariffs will pay for free universal child care nationwide. And that’s just on day one of his historic second administration.
In just a matter of weeks, maybe a month or two tops, there will be no tax on tips for service industry workers, electricity bills will be cut in half, a gallon of gas will plummet well below $1.87 a gallon, interest rates on credit cards will be capped at 10 percent, homeless people will disappear from the streets of our great cities, Walgreens and other retailers will stop locking valuable goods behind glass cases installed on shelves because of the Biden crime wave, a federal task force will be created to combat anti-Christian bias, prayer will be required in public schools, and so many more iron-clad pledges – collected by Meidas Touch’s Ron Filipkowski – will be fulfilled.
So many Americans agree with you Trump fans about your optimism. Just look at the numbers from this CBS News poll. The belief that things will get better is strong with a majority of Americans who responded to this survey, people who suffered immensely from high prices wrought by Joe Biden.
But the numbers could never possibly tell the whole story. Hear it from some of these Americans themselves, the ones Democrats spent four years tuning out while ranting about “democracy”:
Like this man who in 2022 had to be more careful about spending in the South Florida senior dating scene and make sure he really liked the “gal” he was taking out to eat at Margaritaville or wherever.
The Kentucky car salesman who said after the election he “can breathe again. I definitely think gas prices will go down and interest rates will fall. And our cost of living will be reduced, instead of everything going up, up, up, maybe we’ll be able to save five bucks here, five bucks there, that’s $10. There are things you can do with that. Whatever he can do to help make prices lower and our overall cost of living. You go to Walmart these days and spend $100 and you look at your bag and say ‘What did I just buy?'” and now “Nobody on our block, in our town, is going to go hungry.”
The former illegal immigrant Arizona woman who’s now a US citizen by marriage who told the Washington Post she was sick of Biden failing to do anything to help undocumented people in her community and voted for Trump. “At the end of the day, there are people who have been working for years and are still in the shadows. What about them?” asked Maria Isabel Ramirez, who’s now hopeful about the future after years of broken promises by the Democrats to address the issue.
The anonymous pro-Trump internet user who, several days after the election, responded to an article titled “US consumers set to lose up to $78 billion in spending power: study,” with an impassioned defense of the anticipated collateral damage from the incoming second Trump Administration’s tariff policies only to be cruelly mocked by the site’s hardcore anti-MAGA editor.
To them and all of you other Trump voters, your suffering is at an end, and those of us opposed to his rule can only watch with jealousy from the wilderness. All you decent, hard-working Americans will be rewarded for your support of the 47th President of the United States, blessed are you for your courage and commitment to his righteous movement. Sincere congratulations on your victory and for the honor of having the Gulf of Mexico renamed in recognition of that accomplishment.
THE "GULF OF AMERICA" — WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME! pic.twitter.com/NVks3zgfLr
— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) January 7, 2025
Actually that wasn’t sincere. You could probably tell from the sarcasm and the not-even-close-to-comprehensive outlining of all of the fat fuck’s campaign promises, a list that will not even come close to full fruition. Yes, I’m pissed. Yes, I’m heartbroken and disappointed. Yes I’m going to continue to be for a while until the pain recedes. Yes I’m going to be angry, especially tomorrow.
You Trump voters can draw whatever amount of satisfaction you want from that admission and the thousands of despondent comments that have been posted on this site over the last two-and-a-half months. You’ve “earned” it, I guess, after all the suffering inflicted upon you, the displacement that you felt like was on the scale of the Okies documented by Dorothea Lange in the 1930s.
I know not what tomorrow and the next day and beyond for the next four years will bring. The uncertainty is frightening, the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns legion. That acknowledged helplessness going into a bleak future, the lack of control living under the rule of a vengeful tyrant alone must make you feel powerful and dominant over smartass pricks like me.
Felt it firsthand when in mid-November a relative, let’s call him Eric, came up to me with a smug grin on his face and asked what I was going to do with my site now that his all-time favorite president – the one who had been so great for his business, stock portfolio, and bank account for three years, plus a mulligan for the COVID-19 pandemic – was returning to power after a stunning comeback.
So I explained it to him.
“That’s not fair, that’s not fair” Eric stammered, his eyes widening and the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. “Don’t you want the president to do well?” he then asked, plainly upset.
“Eric, I didn’t set these goalposts,” I told him, explaining that I learned a lot, maybe even too much from the right wing media over the last four years, that I am going to do my damndest to hold him and every other one of you fucking idiots who voted for the Orange God Emperor accountable for all the lies and propaganda and appeals to the lowest common denominator in the electorate with these false promises, to harass and heckle the shit out of them all day, every day.
You made it easy for me and every other anti-MAGA blogger and commentator, Trump voters. Your messiah was much more vague back in 2016, when it was just repealing Obamacare and building a wall. This time we’ve got fucking nearly 100 such promises with real binary benchmarks that we can use to determine whether or not you got what you voted for of if you didn’t. I’ve been saying this shit for the better part of a decade but obviously it bears repeating here: You people are happier complaining about a Democratic president than you are defending a Republican one.
Trump hasn’t even perjured himself at a swearing-in ceremony yet and already that same dynamic is settling back in. I’m already pretty fucking good at anticipating how you schmucks are going to handle this or that outrage from your Dear Leader, where your lines of defense are.
For example, if on Monday Trump self-congratulates in his inauguration speech by hailing his “historic victory over that colored slut Kamala,” half of you will be saying that he was taken out of context or some shit and the other half will be high-fiving how he totally owned the libs.
I’m not even going to need to apply that level of nuance anymore. Sure, I’ll do it for my own and my audience’s entertainment every day, but we already know there’s no real point in it. That the lowest-info voters are unlikely to ever start giving a shit if 34 felony convictions, two impeachments, a violent insurrection, hundreds of thousands dead from a pandemic he mismanaged, adjudicated as a rapist, a lifetime of fraud and corruption, and so on obviously did not matter more than the price of eggs, so what’s pardoning the Capitol rioters or forcing CBS News to settle a vexatious $10 billion lawsuit or prosecuting Letitia James, Jack Smith, and Fani Willis going to change?
You fanboys made it so simple: Either Trump can bring credit card interest rates down to 10 percent or he can’t. When he fails to do that, I will be letting as many people as I can know that he failed. That you Trump voters were lied to. That you Trump voters who knew it was a lie but played along to indoctrinate the low-infos into your cult are going to have to explain it to them. That if those people were incapable of understanding that inflation and supply chain disruptions were global phenomena and the United States under Joe Biden actually weathered it considerably better than every other advanced economy then it might be a little challenging to sell them on why the Democrats and George Soros are to blame when Trump did not cap credit card rates at 10 percent.
And fuck you if you think I and every other fellow traveler still against your Reich are going to make that job easy. Fuck you very much. You will get all the mercy you showed the truth for the last 10 years whether your fat degenerate fuck of a Lord and Savior was in power or not: None.
That $770 max FEMA payout for immediate needs after a natural disaster? Next disaster that better be increased. Mortgage rates at 7 percent? Figure the fuck out a way to get them lower. Housing costs still eating up a quarter or more of Americans’ income? Eat shit if it isn’t fixed.
“You” won the election, sure. You also won ownership of anything and everything that goes wrong for the next four years. “This never would’ve happened if Kamala Harris won” will be the anthem of our time, but the failures that you walked America into with your living god’s unrealistic promises are all of his and your own making. You will have done these coming humiliations to yourselves. For that I make this promise to Trump fans on behalf of myself and all my fellow travelers in this space:
You will know our wrath.