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Ohio AG unlaunches gubernatorial bid

Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost, the complete dipshit who asked the Trump Regime for an “off-ramp” from his doomed gubernatorial bid in the form of an ambassadorship, then turned it down because Cyprus is too small and thus not important enough for the fucking prissy diva who found their offer an insult, then drifted aimlessly for a few more weeks while his state party endorsed friggin Vivek Ramaswamy, finally gave up the ghost Friday, breaking the news to dozens of fans.

“It’s never been about me. Public service is in my blood – we talk in the Attorney General’s office about doing ‘Big Good.’ It’s why I decided to offer myself as a candidate for governor. It’s also why I am suspending my campaign today. The past couple of years of travelling [sic] around my beloved state have reconnected me with my roots: the incredible, resilient people and their work ethic, the rich history and breathtaking land, the engines of commerce and prosperity and learning. I will continue to serve them, perhaps for quite a while yet. But it is also apparent that a steep climb to the nomination for governor has become a vertical cliff. I do not wish to divide my political party or my state with a quixotic battle over the small differences between my vision and that of my opponent.”

“I am simply not that important. Ideas do matter, though, and the comeback attempt by Sherrod Brown represents a real and present danger to Ohio’s prosperity. Our state has challenges ahead, but we are not Washington, DC Columbus needs re-engineering, not demolition. Sherrod Brown and the risky progressive ideas of his party will unwind all of the good that the last 15 years of Republican leadership has brought” and blah blah blah Yost wrote in an email. Love the “I am simply not that important” from this asshole and how it contrasts with why he’s here and not in a cushy embassy in Cyprus, doing nothing but eating figs and hummus on the US taxpayer dime.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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