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Tesla caves, allows Cybertruck trade-ins

In a reversal, drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s car company will begin allowing owners of its iconically hideous electric shitbox SUV, the Cybertruck, to trade in their vehicles toward a different model Tesla after less than the original policy of a minimum one year, Business Insider reports.

And yeah, the depreciation rate is bad. Real bad. One owner of an all-wheel-drive owner told Insider he spent about $100,000 on the Cyberhunk of shit about a year ago. After putting 19,623 miles on the odometer, his trade-in estimate came in at $63,100, a roughly 37 percent depreciation. Worse still, another owner who put 8,604 miles on his $127,000 Cyberchump got a $78,200, an almost identical depreciation rate at about 38 percent despite the over 10,000 miles driven difference.

You know how sometimes you see those pics of kids in Africa wearing t-shirts saying shit like “San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl LVIII Champs”? Like maybe you’ll start seeing pics of police departments in like East Timor or Bolivia or Lesotho driving around in Cybertrucks. Or just pics of Cybertrucks with police livery painted on rusting in their department parking lots. Who knows.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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