New York City’s lousy right wing radio station 770 WABC on Tuesday put on a masterclass in burying the lede with a story headlined “Surprise find in a [Long Island] swimming pool,” written almost as if the article itself contains some “well what do you know” kind of whimsy and the pool’s owner woke up in the morning to find an alligator or crashed top-secret military drone in the water.
No. It was a fucking dead body. The article itself says “grisly discovery” because the pool in the backyard of the East Shoreham, Long Island home had been closed since last summer. “There’s talk,” writes WABC web article guy Noam Laden amateurishly, “the body might be that of Matthew Zoll, the 23-year-old fugitive who police say stabbed his father to death in their Rocky Point home last November. Police had searched the East Shoreham neighborhood last year looking for him, but to no avail. Cops have been mum on the identity of the body. Police thought Zoll was hiding out in the woods after the murder. The hunt, that began back on November 9th had neighbors uneasy.”
This writing is grisly. That Rocky Point is a mile or so west of East Shoreham might’ve been useful information for Laden to include. Wonder if he had ChatGPT punch it up for him before printing it.