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“The fact that he was bitten by an alligator significantly and still continued his rampage is shocking but if you’re on enough meth…”

Even if the quote in the headline said “snake” or “German Shepherd” instead of “alligator” and “cocaine” instead of “meth,” you still probably would’ve guessed it was Florida. Per WFLA, those were the exact words of Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd at a press conference following the fatal shooting of 42 year-old local meth user Tim Schulz. “The fact that he was bitten by an alligator significantly and still continued his rampage is shocking but if you’re on enough meth, the person you see is not the person that’s attacking,” said Judd, explaining the events leading up to his deputies blasting Schulz as he ran at them with a pair of gardening shears. “Our deputies tried to deescalate. We also tried to tase him on two different occasions and he continued charging them.”

Schulz’s fatal misadventure was set in motion at around 6 AM Monday when a convenience store clerk in Lakeland called the sheriff’s department to report that Schulz had been behaving erratically in the shop but he had left the premises before they arrived. About 40 minutes later several nearby residents called to report seeing a man swimming through a lake known to be infested with alligators. “A witness tried to throw him a life preserver and another witness reported Schulz growling at them when they tried to help,” WFLA writes with typical MSM understatement.

The crazed Floridian emerged from the water with a serious wound on his arm that evidently had been inflicted by one of the vicious aquatic reptiles, walking into a neighborhood where he proceeded to try to smash the window of a pickup truck with a brick. Deputies arrived and encountered Schulz carrying garden shears, hitting him twice with tasers and failing to stop him from entering the passenger side of a patrol car, where he tried to grab a police-issue rifle from the rack inside. It was then that they fired 10 to 12 fatal shots at him, ending Schulz’s wild morning.

“I don’t know if this is a suicide by cop or a suicide by being absolutely out of your mind on methamphetamine but he showed no fear of two deputies. He showed no interest in complying, even after he was tased. He still ran,” said Judd, apparently impressed despite this being Florida.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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