“The US Coast Guard Marine Board of Investigation (MBI) released its Report of Investigation (ROI) Tuesday on the loss of the Titan submersible, which imploded during a June 2023 dive to the Titanic, killing five people. The more than 300-page ROI outlines key findings and contributing factors in the casualty and includes 17 safety recommendations aimed at strengthening oversight of submersible operations, improving coordination among federal agencies and closing gaps in international maritime policy,” says a US Coast Guard press release on how being smarter than everyone else got Stockton Rush and four other men killed in the abyss two years ago.

“The board determined the primary contributing factors were OceanGate’s inadequate design, certification, maintenance and inspection process for the Titan. Other factors cited in the report include a toxic workplace culture at OceanGate, an inadequate domestic and international regulatory framework for submersible operations and vessels of novel design, and an ineffective whistleblower process under the Seaman’s Protection Act,” the release continued and lol they said “Seamen.”

“The board also found OceanGate failed to properly investigate and address known hull anomalies following its 2022 Titanic expedition. Investigators determined Titan’s real-time monitoring system generated data that should have been analyzed and acted on during the expedition. However, OceanGate did not take any action related to the data, conduct any preventative maintenance or properly store the Titan during the extended off season before its 2023 Titanic expedition.”

That last bit’s almost an understatement. From the report itself:

It’s almost like you don’t need a PhD in applied material science to understand that paragraph but even if you didn’t, simply observing the pavement in that actual parking lot itself, in Newfoundland, might give you an idea of what happens to a non-laminar substrate exposed to the elements in a climate with frequent precipitation, high winds, and where the outdoor temperature can range from significantly below freezing to significantly above over the course of seven months.

A place where’d you’d be a fucking idiot to leave a $300 gas grill out on your deck uncovered.